


The road back

by J_Antebellum



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Comfort, F/F, Family, Fluff, Hurt, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:47:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 58,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23284267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Antebellum/pseuds/J_Antebellum
Summary: Ashlyn and Ali cannot wait to start a family. They're ready, they want children and they want them now... but life's about to make things way harder for them than it should have to be.
Relationships: Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger
Comments: 93
Kudos: 82





	1. Happily ever after

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Hoping you're all taking good care of yourselves with this Covid madness. I've ran out of the UK, where I've been living for a few months now, and returned to my hometown to support my family through these difficult times. Now I'm in lockdown ;)
> 
> Even though you probably hate me if you've been following my other fics and seen I've barely updated in the past year, I'm happy to finally announce I wrote ten fanfics, all Krashlyn, in the past year. One of them even has a part 2, so it's actually eleven fanfics. So anyway, now that we have these hard times I think all of us in lockdown locked in our flats for minimum a month will appreciate having stuff to read and get entertained, even if it's just fics, so I think it's the best moment to bring all the stories at once. Enjoy!
> 
> Also if you want to talk with me, ask when the next chapter pops or whatever, I'm jantebellum in Tumblr, so feel free to message me or send some anon over there!
> 
> Much love xx

**Chapter 1: Happily ever after.**

2020 couldn't possibly be better so far. The day before, the Krieger-Harris household had received news of their inclusion in the United States' Women's National Soccer Team's Olympic roster for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, and even though the news filled the marriage's hearts with joy and excitement, one of them was considerably more cheerful, because just a year before, she would've sold her soul to play one game more with the national team. As Ashlyn went through the fans' correspondence while lounging in the living area with their mastiff Logan, she could hear her wife's happy humming while she cooked in the kitchen, and smiled to herself knowing how accomplished Ali must be feeling.

For Ashlyn, it was different, though. She hadn't played a minute of the World Cup the year before, in fact, she had barely gotten any minutes at all with the national team the year before, and even though she would've been terribly disappointed, frustrated and depressed hadn't she made the roster, her happiness was helplessly tainted by the knowledge that she'd travel so many hours, spend such a long time away from home, work her ass off, and still, she wouldn't play one minute. She was thirty five that October, with no hopes of ever playing another Olympic game, and it was not just her first time in an Olympic roster, but also, she had never played in either a World Cup or an Olympic game with the senior national team. That knowledge after all the years she had played with the team and having her age in count weighted in her heart, and the idea that she'd always come second, first behind Hope Solo, and now behind Alyssa Naeher, created an inner frustration and sadness that she was forced to hide from anyone, even from her wife. Not just because she didn't want to appear ungrateful -she knew any female goalkeeper in the USA would kill for her position- but also because at least she was there, when Ali hadn't been for two years. And Ali lately was with her warming the bench, although she had better chances than Ashlyn to play at least a few minutes, without the need of a teammate being injured. Ashlyn could do many things, but she'd never allow herself to wish injury upon her friend and teammate in order for her to play, so she could only hope their coach would see she was worth it, and the chances of that happening were lower than the chances of ever leaving Ali pregnant.

“Dinner's almost ready,” Ali grinned at her peeking into the area while still wearing an apron and a tall, messy bum. Ashlyn was momentarily speechless, finding her wife forever gorgeous.

“Awesome, I'll set the table in a minute,” Ashlyn compromised. Ali nodded and went back to the kitchen, followed by their giant mastiff, who hoped to get some luck with treats.

Having in count that their kitchen, sitting area and living area were all in one same room, with most of their house being open-plan, Ali could've shouted the information to her wife, but shouting wasn't allowed in their house unless there was really no other choice -like when you're sitting in the toilet and suddenly realize there's no paper- or there was an emergency, and Ashlyn appreciated Ali's efforts to keep their house as calm as she preferred it. Truth was, Ashlyn's childhood had been rocky and full of conflict, and in her house, shouting and screaming, fighting and door-slamming, had been a common thing for many years, something she would run away from and something that had forever affected her, so much that now she flinched at anything reminder of that. And thus, Ali didn't shout in their house, and neither did she. It was funny how, regardless, this didn't affect her at work, were shouting orders or shouting from screams were common. Perhaps because the field had always been her safe place.

With tired hands, Ashlyn opened yet another white envelope with many red hearts drawn on it and proceed to read the letter addressed to her, wondering if it was one of the creepy ones or not. Normally, her mail would be read first and foremost by her agent, who would then send to her the little mail that wasn't crazy and creepy, but her beloved agent had just gotten married and gone off on a honeymoon, so even though he was still taking care of the most important stuff from afar, Ashlyn had agreed that for one week she could read her own mail without his filtering services.

This one made Ashlyn frown from the start:

' _My loved wife,_

 _I just bought my tickets for the Olympic games so we can finally meet and you can realize you're losing your time with that bitch who keeps trying to stand between us—_ '

Ashlyn puffed and shook her head. This was why she had asked Teddy to read her mail for her when she first hired him. She was going to throw away the letter directly, but decided to just make sure there was nothing worth-saving and skipped to the next paragraph.

' _You don't know how much I love you. I hope you know that you are so worth it, even if that brainless coach of yours doesn't see it, you're a way better goalkeeper than Hope or Alyssa could ever aspire to be and I trust you'll get some minutes this time. Don't doubt yourself and don't lose your confidence, you'll do well! I have faith in you. And I cannot wait to have you alone for myself, so I can tie you up, put on my biggest strap-on and—_ '

“Okay, that's enough for you too,” Ashlyn put the letter into the paper shredder she had brought from the studio room and got up to wash her hands and set the table, feeling if she had any childhood innocence left, she had lost it to nutters in the past hour.

“You're unusually quiet,” Ali commented twenty minutes later, as they devoured some healthy dinner together sitting on the sofas outside in their backyard, with the low table in front of them filled with food, a couple scented candles and two glasses of wine. They had been watching a game of New Zealand's Women's National Football Team versus Brazil, because they would confront both teams in the Olympics, but Ashlyn had admittedly not been paying much attention, while Ali, with her coaching license, over-analysed everything. “Am I annoying you talking too much?”

“Please, babe, as if you could every annoy me,” Ashlyn rolled eyes. “As long as you're not trying to buy five purses at once, we're good.” She added with half a smile, making her curve her lips to correspond her smile.

“Then what's the matter?”

“Nothing. Just tired.”

“Ash,” Ali raised her eyebrows, “no lying, remember? I've known you for a decade, I know when you're tired or not. Something's bugging you.”

“Fine, if you know me so well then you already know what it is,” said Ashlyn filling her mouth with more food.

Ali frowned lightly, looking at her meal deep in thought. She hadn't forgotten 2016. when Ashlyn had only been an alternate, never dressing for a single game, watching from the stands as they lost the Olympics. In 2012 she hadn't even made it to be an alternate, while Ali had been recovering from an ACL MCL.

“Is it because you're likely to not play a game in the Olympics?” Ashlyn clenched her jaw. She didn't want to talk about that with Ali. Her wife deserved to be excited about this. “Oh, Ash, but there's still time, I bet you can still make it.”

“Only if Alyssa gets hurt, and I'd never wish anything bad on her no matter what,” Ashlyn murmured.

“Jill may still open her eyes and see—,”

“Alex, don't make me laugh,” Ashlyn said sternly. “Let's just drop it, okay? I get to go to Tokyo with my wife, that's a first and I'm happy for that.”

“You are happy, but frustrated and disappointed nevertheless. But you shouldn't be, Ash, you're coming with us, and we're going to win together, and this time you won't be an alternate, you'll be there with me... that's a first to be proud of.”

“I _am_ proud. But Alyssa's my junior. I've got more years with the senior team, I trained with legends like Hope, Jill Loyden or Nicole, I captained the U-19 team to the World Cup victory when I wasn't more than a kid, Alyssa will see another Olympics, I won't. Jill just... skipped me, you know? Right over my head like if I wasn't there, when it was my turn, my time... and Alyssa could've still become a goalkeeping legend later. At 32, she has already accomplished way more than I, at 35, will. Now that I'm officially pissed, can we please drop it?” she finished, having gotten more worked-up as she spoke. Ali frowned and seemed speechless for a moment, but then merely shrugged.

“Look, I know it sucks, but you—,”

“No, you don't know,” Ashlyn snapped, feeling a dragon awake inside of her that she didn't usually let out, even less at Ali, who very rarely had to stand her being rude. “You are one of the team's legends. You are huge for the team, for God's sakes, you've been starting for ages, you are by most people considered one of the top three defenders of the world, including the men, you're the Ali Krieger, the one who so young went to Germany and earned the nickname of Warrior, the one who got an entire team to tattoo her own tattoo in tribute because the team wasn't the same without her, you've earned everyone's love and appreciation, and still most people root for you to this day. Your Dad was your own coach for years, you've always been a star, an Olympian nevertheless, a World Champion, with your own camps, a field with your name literally on it, and so on. Believe me, just because you were left out for a couple years and are seeing tons of bench time now, you don't know how it is like for me. All your accomplishments are yours, while I shouldn't be called an Olympian because I only trained in Rio, and I shouldn't be called a World Champion unless it is for the U-19, I just get labels because they're the team's,” She sighed and stood up, while Ali watched, concerned. The goalkeeper hadn't shouted or anything, but it was unlike her to be like that. She was the forever optimist who never spoke of her own frustrations and who, if sad or angry, would seek communication right away. “I'm going to bed.”

Ali decided to give her some time so after she left, she sat for a few minutes gathering her thoughts, then turned the TV off and slowly brought everything back to the kitchen, cleaned the dishes, made sure Logan was settled for the night, and walked into the master bedroom about forty-five minutes after Ashlyn had left. She younger woman was snuggled in her side as usual, so Ali got into her pyjamas and slid under the covers next to her, staring at her back. She knew her wife was still awake, as after all, she'd known her for so long she was hard to fool. Tentatively, Ali raised herself on one elbow and put a hand on Ashlyn's shoulder, leaning to kiss her head.

“I'm so sorry it's been so tough for you, love,” Ali spoke gently. “That said, I think you're blinding yourself to the bigger picture. You were always called into the team. You were called in even when it had huge names like Hope, Jill and Nicole, because no matter the coach, even Jill Ellis cannot deny you're a world class goalkeeper who has always deserved to be in that team. That's why you're an Olympian or a World Champion. You might think you didn't earn it because you didn't play, but I saw everything you did out there. You were always supporting everyone, helping the other goalkeepers be their best, cheering players up, shouting encouragement day in and day out... you have relentlessly given your best to this team, you've given it way more than you give yourself credit for. You've been there when all the other hundreds of American female goalkeepers haven't, for a reason, Ashlyn. Do you really think those goalkeepers would've been so good without you? No. They needed to feel the threat of a freaking great younger keeper in order to give their best, and the rest of the team... they needed your friendship to play their best. This team wouldn't be the same without you, and I don't say it because I'm your wife, I say it because it's true. I see the way everyone cheers up when you're nearby. You brought _TWLOHA_ into the team, you brought mental health conversations, you're the first one to help anyone who struggles and inspire the rookies... without you, the team would be lacking a really big part. Maybe our kids won't get to see many games with you diving like a shark in world cups, but you know what? Being the kids of two former players I've got no doubt they'll know how hard it was to earn a spot in the team, they'll know it was a big deal that their Momma was there, and they'll never doubt how amazing you are because I'll remind them every day since before they're even born, and they'll grow with you and see how lucky they are to call you Momma, and see with their own eyes how incredible you are. Besides, is not like you're in the team just because you're one of the best goalkeepers in the world, both men and women... you're also there for your kindness, selflessness, humour, sportsmanship, camaraderie, and how inspirational you are. Let's not forget every accomplishment I have I achieved it next to you, with you to permanently cheer me up and make me better. I wouldn't have done any of that without you.”

Satisfied with herself, Ali lied down again and wrapped her arm around her wife, nuzzling between her shoulder blades and knowing it was a matter of time before Ashlyn softened-up. She already felt less tense.

“I just wish I had a chance to show everyone what I can do on the field on big tournaments,” Ashlyn murmured sadly. “It feels like the coaching staff doesn't trust me for big things. Like they think I'll fuck up or, even if I keep clean sheets, have them on the edge for two hours, and they only give me the silly games now and then. It's like no one has faith. No one believes in me out there.”

Ali pulled from her t-shirt until she rolled over and faced her, and then she caressed her face softly, kissing her forehead and wrapping her close.

“That speaks more of their blindness and stupidity than of your talent,” Ali stated. “Anyone who's someone _knows_ you should be starting more. People keep asking for you to start on games, people... the important people, those who truly matter, they know it. Sometimes we're just unlucky that the people who should see it and give you the chance, aren't smart enough. But you know that to see the greatest things you need the greatest lenses. I'm afraid you're one of those cases of great ignored talent, love... and the best you can do is keep believing it may still happen, but if it doesn't... you need to remember their opinion isn't important. They don't know you like you do and it's their loss. It may not be the Olympics but... at least here you have a team who loves you and knows the big deal you are, made you captain and all... you can still do it for them. After all, better that your talent helps a team that knows your worth rather than those that have ignored it all along.”

“I can't even give Orlando a championship, Ali.”

“That's hardly your fault, you're the NWSL's most praised goalkeeper, and the Pride would be down 10 nothing every time if it wasn't for you,” Ali kissed her softly and briefly.

“I know you're right, it's just... I can't help but be frustrated. I'm so tired of the bench, and knowing I'm there just watching games when the Pride's losing time after time here, when Logan's all alone... I feel I'd be more useful here.”

“We need you there, Ashlyn. No one can accomplish anything without a bunch of people behind to push them forward. You're part of that, and so am I, and if you stayed here, you know you'd regret it eventually. Besides,” Ali smiled softly, “you may feel down now, but one day soon, when there are people in this house calling you Momma, I promise you'll feel like a superhero every day, and then you'll see how for the people who matter, you'll always be the star. Soccer is just a very tiny part of all you'll do in life... and overall, when you're an old, gorgeous woman, you'll see the world will recognize you as a legend because of all of you, not just because of your small goalkeeper career. You'll have a life full of success, you'll see.”

“I suppose you're right. After all, none of my godchildren first loved me for being a goalkeeper but... because of my ability to make them feel great,” Ashlyn murmured.

“Exactly. Now, sleep,” Ali pecked her lips. “We need you full force tomorrow.”

“I love you,” Ashlyn said against her clavicle, pressing her lips there.

“I love you too.”

  
  



	2. The contact

**Chapter 2: The contact.**

The next day after training, Sydney asked Ashlyn and Ali whether they could babysit her 3-year-old son Cassius and almost year-old daughter Roux for the afternoon, because she was surprising her husband Dom with something romantic and wouldn't be home until past dinner time. Having in count that Cassius was Ashlyn's godson, she was happy to do so, and Ali would join them for dinner, because she had extra training during the afternoon, physiotherapy, and massage. So, seeing herself with two very young kids, Ashlyn decided to take them to the park with Logan to unwind. She kicked the ball back and forth with Logan and Cassius, and meanwhile held little Roux inside a wrap bag against her chest.

“Well done Cash!” Ashlyn laughed openly as the little boy kicked the ball softly to her knee. “Look how good your big brother is, Rouxy.” She smiled at the little girl, who kept trying to get a better look, eyes wide open at the big trees and dog barks.

Once she was positive that Cassius was close to falling asleep while standing, Ashlyn picked the ball under her arm, grabbed the boy's hand, and called Logan over so they could stroll back home. As they were walking, Roux had fallen asleep against her chest and Ashlyn kept her chin over the curly hair while walking and keeping eyes on Logan, who wasn't usually allowed to go freely down the street without a leash. She was very well trained, went to dog school and all, but she was still bigger than a pony and Ashlyn liked to double check with her.

Her mobile then buzzed in her pocket and, thinking it was Ali checking on them, or the parents asking how their kids were doing, she pulled the phone, only to see it was a text from a secret number.

' _Looking hot today hunny – A_ ' it came with a photograph of her playing with Cassius, and Ashlyn scowled, looking around. She was fairly sure she was alone.

Arriving home, she smelled pizza and Cassius immediately squealed for pizza and ran to Ali's legs, getting to be the little helper as Ali was making some salad.

“Hi gorg,” Ali smiled pecking her lips and caressing Roux's hand. “Were they good?”

“Always,” Ashlyn looked at the salad, licking her lips. “Looks delish... hey, why didn't you join us today, if you were in the park?”

“What are you talking about?” Ali inquired. “I was all the way in down-town Orlando, there's no way I could've made it. I only got here fifteen minutes ago.”

“But you sent me a picture.”

“No I did not?” Ashlyn frowned and showed her the message and photograph that she had received. Ali scowled. “I did not send that. Who got your number?”

“I've got no idea, I thought you were playing me or something.”

“I don't like you getting such odd texts from a stranger who's clearly following you. Why don't you go to the police tomorrow?”

“And tell them to investigate an odd text I've gotten? They'll laugh in my face, Al. I'll watch my back more for a few days, it's probably someone joking... besides, in a few weeks we'll be in Tokyo, far from stalkers.”

“Oh, you clearly don't know how Japanese fans are...”

Seeing Cassius was starved, they put the conversation on pause and sat down for dinner while Roux slept in Ashlyn's embrace. Ali cut pizza pieces for Cassius and taught him how to blow it to be colder, helping him eat it before she even touched a piece for herself. Ashlyn enjoyed seeing Ali around little kids so much, knowing she'd be an incredible mother one day, that she was always grateful when any of their close friends got pregnant, knowing they'd be babysitting. Ali had a similar feeling as she watched Roux sleep, drooling on Ashlyn, whose strong, tattooed arms wrapped around the little girl, comforting her and making her feel safe and warm. She couldn't wait to see those arms wrap around their own little baby.

“Can we put baby shark?” Cassius asked pointing at their music player.

“Sure! Dance party!” Ashlyn looked at Ali, who nodded and opened her arms to receive little Roux. Ashlyn chuckled handing her the little girl and kissing her cheek before jumping to her feet to get the dancing going.

Later, as Dom and Sydney took their asleep children home, Ashlyn wrapped Ali in her arms as they stumbled into their bedroom, kissing.

“I can't wait for us to get some of those,” Ashlyn said between kisses, while Ali pulled her t-shirt over her head.

“Just a few months more,” Ali smiled, pressing her lips against Ashlyn's naked shoulder.

“We could try now,” Ashlyn squeezed her ass playfully and the brunette laughed.

“Did you grow a dick now?” Ali joked, cupping her face for another kiss.

“No, but why should that stop us?” Ashlyn put her hands under Ali's knees and lifted her up wrapping her legs against her own waist, jumping them both on the bed while Ali laughed and she trailed kisses down her neck...

A few weeks later, they were enjoying a family outing at the beach in Satellite before they had to travel to Tokyo for about a couple weeks for the Olympics. While Ali chatted with her mother and Ashlyn's mother and brother, plus Ashlyn's cousins Corey and wife Brittany with their kids, in the sand, enjoying some barbecue Chris and Tammye had handled, Ashlyn decided to go for a second bath and dived into the ocean like a dolphin, feeling at home in the water. She wondered if she could've been a successful water athlete, maybe not a swimmer, but perhaps a surfer or sailing maybe.

“Ali, help me please?” Brittany asked Ali, holding a bottle of sun-cream and motioning to her kids. She was now three months pregnant with baby number three, but she already had 2-year-old Raya, whose birthday had been not long ago, and Jenson, who was already five and running around wild. Ali smiled and picked Ashlyn's goddaughter up in her arms, taking the sun-cream and spreading it generously over her back while the kid tried to build a sand castle.

“How long does one have to wait to be an uncle, by the way?” Chris asked looking as Ali took care of the little one. Ali chuckled.

“Hopefully this time next year one will be on the way...”

“Yeah?” Tammye smiled. “Come on, don't play with our feelings!”

“I'm serious,” Ali insisted with a nod. “We've been discussing it, thinking that perhaps after the Olympics...”

“What about soccer?” inquired Corey, cutting some food for his children.

“It's over,” said Ali with a sigh. “It's a miracle I got picked back last year, and it'd be absurd to dream of being in the next World Cup with thirty-eight or thirty-nine years. I'm leaving the national team soon, at some point after the Olympics. And Ashlyn never wanted to break her whole body by playing for too long, so she's not going to be much behind, and even if she was, just with me leaving the team is enough for us to start.”

“But what about the Pride?” asked Chris. “It'll sink _further_ without you.”

“Which is why we're going to be slower on that one. But I'm already coming to terms with the idea of never winning a NWSL, and my contract is up to either be terminated or renovated after this season, so I was thinking very seriously of just terminating it. With Ashlyn there to hold them up, I won't feel guilty.” She added with half a smile. “Besides, Syd is also done with having children for now, the team will be better now she's back. And there are the Aussies, and the Brazilians... they have good people. And if I end up not getting pregnant or unable to do so, then I may just stay in the Pride and we can adopt or whatever.”

“I don't imagine my sis pregnant, but...” Chris raised his eyebrows, looking at the ocean for the dot that represented his little sister. “She could do it.”

“She doesn't want to,” Ali informed, knowing with their current family members, Ashlyn had no problem being completely open. They were some of her most trusted relatives.

“No?” Debbie looked surprised. “Don't know why I always thought she'd be one to be dying for it.”

“She's dying to have a kid, but not to actually have it herself. She's got terrible knees, and rightfully so, she thinks it'd be hellish for them if she gained some pounds. It has its logic.”

“I wanna swim with Aunty Ash,” Jenson told his father, who nodded, grabbing his hand and getting up.

“Okay mate, let's go find Aunty. You coming, Raya?” but his daughter was too busy with her castle to even care to listen, so the men went off, running to the ocean.

“Well I can't wait to be a grandma,” Tammye said cheerfully. “Whenever you're ready, no pressure!” Ali smiled and nodded. She couldn't wait to be a mother either.

Later that evening, the gang went to a pub that had music live on Friday nights as such, and although it was pretty packed, Corey found them a table with good views to the stage, where a young woman was playing acoustic versions of famous songs with her guitar, sitting on a black stool. They listened to the musician for a while, chatting and drinking, and when Ashlyn recognized the first notes of Rita Ora's _Poison_ , she stood up and offered Ali a hand.

“Can I have this dance?” she asked with a charming smile. Ali grinned and took her hand.

“Thought you'd never ask.”

The wives walked to the dance floor area and Ashlyn grinned kissing Ali softly while she put a hand on her waist and took Ali's hand with the other.

_I pick my poison and it's you, nothing can kill me like you do, you're going straight to my head...!_

“I told the fam we're hoping to try for a baby after the Olympics,” Ali whispered to her ear as they danced.

“So you're sure?” Ashlyn inquired, pressing her cheek against her wife's temple.

“Yeah. This is my last NWSL, if all goes well. And my last big tournament.”

Ashlyn nodded slowly, feeling a bit like vertigo. She wanted this, and she knew Ali wanted it as well, but she couldn't help feeling a little anxious at the big changes in their lives, quitting their life jobs, all they had done since literally toddlers, for a family. Unfortunately for them, there was no other way. The expensive and arduous process they had a head in order to do IVF or IUI would fail from the very beginning if they even attempted to start it while playing football. One bad tackle, and the dream would be over before they even had a positive stick.

“If you are sure, then I'm ready,” said Ashlyn at last, pressing their bodies closer. “I love you so much, Alexandra.” Ali looked up at her and smiled warmly, tiptoeing to kiss her sweetly.

“Good, because I'm not doing this without you.”

“Excuse me,” a girl about a decade younger than them came up to them with a big smile, long blonde hair and dark eyes, flashing a perfect smile, generous cleavage, and endless legs under curvy hips. “Ms Harris, may I have this dance?” Ali raised her eyebrows in astonishment, and Ashlyn snorted.

“I'm sorry, but I'm dancing with my wife now,” said Ashlyn.

“Oh, and afterwards?”

“I don't plan on even having another dance partner... in my life,” Ashlyn clarified, tightening her hold of Ali. The younger woman didn't seem unnerved in the slightest. She blinked and smiled bigger, opening the first button of her blouse to reveal a little more cleavage before putting a lingering hand on Ashlyn's shoulder.

“I'm sorry, we've started with the wrong foot. I'm Kim, we went to the same high school and I was only hoping to get to know Satellite's legend better. Perhaps over a couple drinks then?”

“You sure do have a lot of nerve to flirt with someone in front of her wife,” Ali snapped, starting to get quite bothered. She wasn't usually jealous, but this girl was touching a nerve. Ashlyn wrapped an arm around her waist and Kim smiled sweetly at Ali.

“I'm sorry sweetie, but your wife isn't exactly known for being a one-girl type of person... everyone here knows she likes to check her options, and I'm not against you joining us tonight, actually...”

“Excuse me?” Ashlyn scowled deeply, facing Kim threateningly. “You know what? I'm not going to let someone like you ruin a perfectly nice evening. I'm married, happily and I will not be cheating or sharing wife ever in my life. Go fuck off with someone else or I'll make sure you regret ever talking to me tonight.”

“Calm down, love,” Ali wrapped both arms around her waist and kissed her cheek,”she's not worth it. Let's keep dancing.”

Kim glared at Ashlyn.

“Your loss then.”

Before Ashlyn could retort, Ali brought her to face her, putting her arms around the goalkeeper's neck and kissing her softly.

“Ignore her,” said Ali, kissing her again.

“Only because you're a far better view...”

That night though, a buzz of her phone woke Ashlyn up in the wee hours. She blinked in the darkness of her childhood bedroom and untangled herself from Ali, around whom she had her arms. She turned around to check her phone and turn vibration mode off, only to see she had a new text from an unknown number.

' _I don't take a no for an answer. Your turn to pay -K._ '

  
  



	3. Tokyo

**Chapter 3: Tokyo.**

Ashlyn was keeping the mystery texts for herself for now. She had shown Ali only one of them, and she didn't want to worry her or distract her from soccer as they made landing in Japan. They had just finished with the group stage and were on quarter finals, so the focus was on the game very strictly. Ashlyn got up early for training and, as she walked into the breakfast room, she realized she must've taken a bit too long getting ready, because most of the team was already in the room and judging by the heavy chattering, there had to be news. Coach Jill Ellis, Ali, Megan, Tobin and Kelley were all crowded on their feet around Allie Long, who was reading something off her phone while the girls around her and on the table listened attentively. Even Dawn Scott, their fitness coach, had walked over.

“What's so interesting, ladies?” Ashlyn asked with a smile as she arrived with her tray, finding an empty place at the table. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks and looked with wide eyes at Ashlyn. Ali's were glassy, and she was pale.

“Ashlyn, uh...” Tobin sighed, shaking her head. Ashlyn frowned.

“What's wrong?”

“Do you know what this woman's talking about?” Jill took Allie's phone and handed it to Ashlyn, who took it.

The screen showed an article in the CNN titled ' _USWNT Goalkeeper accused of rape_ '. Ashlyn scowled as she looked at the subtitle ' _Goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris has been accused of assaulting and raping Brazilian model Erica da Porto during the Rio Olympics of 2016_ '.

“What the fuck is this?” Ashlyn snapped, looking up.

“Read it, Ashlyn,” said Ali, her lip trembling. “It's important.”

Ashlyn looked down to read the rest of the article.

' _As Brazil prepares to face the USA in the Tokyo Olympic's female quarter finals, a particular Brazilian has begun her own battle versus an American. Erica da Porto (23), famous ambassador of brands such as Harper's Bazaar or Dior, model and Miss Brazil 2015 and 2019, has just filed a formal complaint against the USA second goalkeeper, Ashlyn Harris (34), about whom Ms da Porto states: 'we met at a club one night during the Olympics. She was bummed the USA had just lost against Sweden and would be flying home soon, and she was flirty all night. I insisted I wasn't interested -I had a girlfriend at the time- but she didn't take a no for an answer, she followed me outside the pub and grabbed me, covering my mouth and used her strength of an athlete to drag me into her car and... well... force me to have sex with her. She was violent, drunk, and left me covered in bruises.'_

_Ashlyn Harris travelled with the USWNT as an alternate in Rio four years ago. At the time she was in the sixth year of dating her current wife, USWNT defender Ali Krieger, who was also in Rio back then, but in the usual starting XI, and with whom in 2019 she confessed to have been dating since late 2010, when they met playing for the USWNT. If Harris was sentenced guilty, it wouldn't just mean she assaulted and abused a 19-year-old when she was twelve years her senior, but it'd also mean she cheated on Ms Krieger._

_Questioned about why sue the goalkeeper now after four years, Erica da Porto replied:_

_'I was too traumatized back then to talk about it, and it was this way for a long time. I just wanted to move on and besides, I was just a kid while she was a famous, rich athlete, I thought no one would believe me and even if they did, Harris would just get a bunch of lawyers to say crap about me. I wanted to tell when I saw her in Harper's Bazaar Brazil, but I was scared... yet I haven't forgotten in four years and now, seeing her in another Olympics, it triggered me and it made me realize that if I didn't say something, another kid could suffer Harris' perversions.''_

Ashlyn couldn't keep reading. If her lawyer and agent hadn't called her yet, it was because of the sixteen hours of time difference with LA, thirteen with NYC. Her lawyers and agent were probably asleep when this came out. Her heart was hammering in her chest and suddenly she felt herself on the verge of an anxiety attack.

“I didn't...” Ashlyn shook her head, putting the phone on the table and sliding her chair away as if stepping from a snake. “I don't even know that woman. She's lying, I'd never... Ali...” she looked up. She needed for her wife to believe her. “Ali, you know I'd never do that to you! Coach, this is pure crap, it's no coincidence it comes out now when we're about to face Brazil, this bitch has been paid for this, to distract us!” she stood up, anger kicking in. “I'd never rape anyone, I'd never cheat on Ali, this is bullshit, and I'm going to get the bloody best lawyers in the world to prove it!”

“Ashlyn,” Jill Ellis sighed. “I want to believe you, I truly do, but the world now is pointing fingers and this is a huge scandal. US Soccer fired Hope Solo for a comment, they're going to be like sharks on you for this, and if it turns out it's true...”

“It's not true, Jill. Come on, you know me!” Ashlyn felt her heart accelerate and her eyes fill with tears of desperation. “I don't know her, I never touched her, nothing she says it's true. I never even separated from the team after we lost, and I didn't even have my car, so I couldn't have brought that woman into my car, right? It's obvious she's lying.”

“There is a photograph, Ashlyn,” Ali mumbled, hugging herself. Ashlyn scowled and looked again at the article, scrolling down. There indeed you could see Ashlyn standing chatting with people who weren't recognizable in the picture, holding a drink, while a brunette with sparkling blue eyes, very young, chatted with some other people behind her. They were all very obviously in some club. The footnote said the brunette was this Erica da Porto woman.

“I've never been here, this is good Photoshop,” Ashlyn snarled, returning the phone to Allie Long. “I have never seen Erica da Porto before in my life.”

“Well, I'll have to meet with the rest of the coaching staff and my own bosses to make a decision, Ashlyn,” said Jill. “But I think, for now and until a firm decision is made, you should not be dressing for the team anymore. AD will step forward.”

Ashlyn's eyes widened.

“What? What about presumption of innocence?” Ashlyn growled. “I am INNOCENT, damn it! You cannot push me away, this is my first and last real chance in an Olympics, you can't do this to me!”

“Ashlyn, mate, calm down, coach is just trying to protect the team...” Carli Lloyd tried to intervene, the whole team having crowded around.

“I am your teammate! I am the one you should be protecting, I've always had your backs, all of you!” Ashlyn shouted angrily. “And now you're feeding me to the wolves and turning your backs on me to believe some bitch you don't even know! You're going to abandon me to my luck and let her ruin my career with lies! What about your loyalty to me?!” She glared at her teammates, all of which seemed too moved and confused to utter a word, none of them daring to look at her. A sob escaped Ashlyn's lips and she shook her head, looking down. “I invited all of you to my wedding, I called you my sisters... all these years... well, good to see what I truly mean to you now. Fuck you. I quit.”

She turned around and stormed out.

“Ashlyn!” Ali shouted after her, but Tobin took her hand.

“We need to get to the bottom of this, Ali,” Tobin said. “I love her, but we all know she was a party girl. If she got drunk and did something she doesn't remember... we were all struggling a lot back then and... I don't want to believe this, but _if_ it happened, we cannot let the entire team sink.”

“My marriage is far more important than this team and the Olympics altogether. If she's out of the team, so am I,” Ali snapped, and followed Ashlyn outside, running after her.

She finally found her wife, who had shown more speed than ever before, after following the faint sound of sobbing down the stairs to the garage access. There was a small marble hall with the doors to access the garage closed and Ashlyn sat at the bottom of the stairs, face between her hands, as she cried harder than Ali remembered having seen her cry in years. Her USWNT jacket, that she had been proudly sporting, lied crumpled on the floor against the wall, where it had probably collided in anger.

“Ashlyn...” Ali whispered, sitting next to her and feeling her heart break as she heard her erratic breathing and saw her body shake with the heavy crying.

“L-leave me a-alone!” Ashlyn snarled.

“I'm sorry love, but I can't,” Ali put a hand on her back and started softly rubbing up and down. “I love you, Ashlyn, and I believe you. I know in my heart you'd never, ever, do anything of what that... bitch is saying about you. You are my teammate for life and I won't let you deal with this alone, okay? I'm right here to hold you, to help you get your shit together, and to fight alongside you every battle in life with all of us, and we're going to make this right and have FIFA's president himself on his knees apologizing.”

Ashlyn looked up to her in disbelief, her face red and wet, her nose dripping and her eyes filled with a kind of pain Ali had never seen in them before, along with tears.

“I-I thought you b-believed her!”

“I'm sorry I made you think that,” Ali said gently. “But I stand by you, always. I was just very shocked. And you know what? I'll sit and really think of that night and I bet I'll be able to remember you being with me, so that woman's accusations will be over before no one else takes them seriously. I pretty much recall you were comforting me after that loss.”

“I was,” Ashlyn sniffled and moved to cry on Ali's shoulder while her wife wrapped her arms around her and held her tight.

She cried for a long time, and Ali allowed herself a little of silent crying while holding her tightly, until Ashlyn's eyes ran dry.

“You're not alone, love,” Ali promised, kissing her warm forehead. “We're going to solve this. Together.”

“I never thought all of them would turn their backs on me when I need them the most,” Ashlyn muttered, leaning against Ali tiredly. “There's no evidence I did anything wrong but yet... no one stood up for me. No one. As if friendship, sisterhood meant nothing... as if they didn't know me at all.”

Ali rubbed the tears away with her thumbs and kissed her softly.

“God only sends big challenges to big warriors,” Ali whispered. “You know you're innocent. I know you're innocent. Our families know, I'm sure. And that's all that matters. Believe in yourself, you've got nothing to hide, no lies to maintain, no reason to be afraid because you've done nothing wrong... and we'll prove it. I'm sure the girls were shocked too, I'm sure we've got real friends there... they're just conflicted because they don't want for the whole team and Olympics to be stained by this. They don't want for people to think they support someone who raped a 19-year-old, but they will come around because they know you're a good person. The best one of us.”

The goalkeeper took a deep breath and nodded.

“I should call my lawyer. And you should go back, you're missing training.”

“I told them that if you weren't in the team, neither was I, so I'm afraid you're stuck with me.” Ali smiled small.

“Ali, you can't quit for me...”

“What part of teammates for life didn't you understand, wifey?” Ali commented. “We're the one team that really matters to me. I don't give a fuck about the Olympics anymore, all I want is for the best person I know, my life and my one true love's reputation to be cleared so she doesn't have to spend years in prison for something she never did. Call Martina, she'll know what to do.”

Ashlyn put the phone on speaker and spoke with the head of their law team, Martina Walton, who was a famous lawyer that usually handled anything they needed to get done. She had been sleeping, but flipped at the news and promised she'd take care of it, advising them to calmly talk things out with their bosses, avoid losing their jobs, and for Ashlyn to show herself more than willing to collaborate with justice and to do what was needed for the team, even if it meant stepping aside. According to Walton, it was important for her to be the bigger person and have the federation on her side, not angry with her. Walton would work on defending Ashlyn and pushing forward a suing for defamation.

Then, they called their representative at Wasserman, Teddy Yeschin, who was also awoken by them and who gave them more or less the same advice and promised to start working on Ashlyn's public image immediately. Then Ashlyn texted her family and closest friends and told them everything Erica da Porto was saying was lies. Then, at last, they sat there, not knowing what else to do.

“The team should be in practice for at least another hour,” muttered Ashlyn. “Should I pick up my bags?”

“No,” Ali squeezed her hand. “Right now we do nothing, and when the girls come back, we'll calmly ask to speak with the coaching staff and clear this out. And then, if they want us gone or if they'll angry because of how we reacted... then we'll get our bags, go back home and fix this mess.”

Ashlyn nodded, then sighed.

“Fuck, we're going to miss our last Olympics for this shit...”

“Or not,” Ali adventured. “Maybe not. Maybe they'll decide to keep us around, maybe Teddy's calling Jill right now. He represents a big part of this team. Come on, let's get some fresh air.”

“Fresh air in this city?”

“We'll use our pretty phones and get ourselves somewhere nice. And get this,” Ali picked up her jacket and handed it back to Ashlyn. “Don't give up on your second family just yet.”

Half an hour later, they had made it to a quiet corner of a park and lied together on the grass, thinking of why would Erica da Porto want to ruin Ashlyn's image. Ashlyn decided to tell Ali all about the texts she had been getting, and Ali encouraged her to send them to Teddy and Martina through text and tell Jill, because it was proof that someone might be plotting against Ashlyn. She had received threats, after all.

  
  



	4. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:
> 
> All of this is FICTION. Even when there are characters named after and inspired on real people, and even when there might be real locations and historical events. It's still a FICTIONAL story, and it's not meant to detriment, insult or hurt anyone, but only with the purpose of entertainment.
> 
> I think we can all use some entertainment in our lives through these difficult times. I don't know you, but I've lost nearly everything over Covid. I no longer have a job, a career, and all my professional plans for this year are, as for now, cancelled. I can't even make any future professional plans as for now. I literally had to pack my bags, leave my first house since I moved out from my childhood home, and leave my friends there, my life there, everything, for God knows how long, so I could return home and take care of my elderly mother less than a week ago. And now I'm fighting to stay healthy so I can keep her healthy and take care of her, while we live on our savings, that's all we have left. And writing brings me a little bit of joy and for what I see, reading brings you a bit of joy too, and I think we can all use as much joy now as we can get. So that's the only purpose of fanfiction for me, nothing else, and certainly, nothing moved by some "white saviour complex" or a desire to deprecate anyone or anything.
> 
> Thank you all for your support and your comments. We will get through this, I don't know how, I don't know when, but we will. Trust me on this.

**Chapter 4: Confrontation.**

They were back in the team hotel two hours later, visibly calmer, as the team finished their massages and reunited in the team's lounge room. Ali had gotten Ashlyn to eat some breakfast outside and now she guided the goalkeeper into the room. The team had probably been talking about them because they were all sitting together on the floor, chairs and sofas, talking quietly, and they turned to them. Ashlyn, who still felt hurt by the team's lack of support, didn't look at anyone but Jill Ellis, their coach.

“Jill, can we talk to you in private for a moment, please?” Ashlyn said. She was still pale and her eyes swollen from crying, and Jill immediately stood up and guided them outside and up to her bedroom, where they'd be able to speak more privately.

Jill sat on a chair while the other women sat on the verge of the bed in front of her.

“Before you say anything,” Jill said gently. “I just want you to know I haven't made any firm decision yet. To be honest, I don't know what to do, but I know firing you or accepting your resignations are not the right moves... so as long as the big bosses don't say anything, I think we should go on as normal. I've told the girls to answer simply 'no comment' if anyone asks, to stick together, to believe in you because hell, you've been here since you were only a kid, a few of the girls have known you for decades... I don't think it's okay to trash you at the first sign of trouble. But it is important to avoid all comment publicly, good or bad, until our PR and the federation figure out what to do, and with the time difference, we may not know for a day or two more.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn nodded slowly. “Look, Jill... I'm sorry I... freaked out so much before, but I just... to me, this is a nightmare. I've worked my ass off to be here for so long, I've given soccer my all, I went as far as to hide my relationship for almost a decade just for this team, I've missed family funerals, weddings, birthdays to be here... to me, this is my family. And if I can't count on you, I...” she shrugged, and rubbed her eyes, taking a moment. “I wouldn't know what to do. And I don't want to bring this team down with me, so if it's what the bosses want, I'm willing to quit, to say I decided it, that no one pressured me, defend the organization with teeth and nails, anything for this team. But it kills me to think that anyone here doubts my innocence, even more when I've known many of the girls for decades, as you said. I only want to give my best to the team, I wake up every day trying to be the best version of myself, the best role model, teammate... I care so much about those things. And I can only hope everyone knows I would never in my life hurt someone else for absolutely not reason, I wouldn't go get drunk during work trips, I wouldn't assault anyone, or abuse or rape... and I wouldn't cheat on Ali, because she's my life, she's always been, and I wouldn't forget myself if I lost her. So... whatever I need to do for the team, or to clean my image... I will do it, no questions asked. But you should know this is my last Olympic, the first I make it into the actual roster and the last... because Ali and I were planning on starting a family after this, so we were both going to make this year our last in the National Team. If we need to cut it shorter than we wanted for the team, we will, but you had to know. And you also have to know this,” Ashlyn pulled her phone and showed her the texts and photos she had received, along with photographs she kept on her phone of that creepy letter she had read weeks before.

Jill read it all and frowned, and then Ali told her about their encounter with a handsy woman in Satellite Beach before coming to Tokyo.

“I think it's all related to the same thing,” Ali said. “First, someone followed Ashlyn, then someone comes to flirt with her named Kim, and she gets a text signed with a K that's quite threatening, and the letter... I think perhaps there's some obsessive fan who's out of her royal mind and lives under the illusion that Ashlyn is hers, and is angry about Ashlyn's lack of attention, and somehow got Erica to help, perhaps they're friends. Or perhaps someone really powerful is orchestrating this whole thing to distract the team against Brazil so Brazil wins. Whatever it is, let's not forget John Lennon was murdered by a fan, if someone is trying to fuck her over... I'm worried they will try to actually harm her, and without the team, she's completely vulnerable.”

“I was thinking of the same thing,” Jill agreed, nodding. “Ashlyn, send me these over, I want to show them to the bosses. Did you call the police for this?”

“No, I... I thought they'd laugh on my face, being honest,” Ashlyn murmured, looking down. “I thought they'd call me paranoid.”

“Well, I suggest you get your agent to send this to the police and start an investigation, because someone seems to be really interested on ruining your career.”

Just then, Ashlyn's phone buzzed with another text. It was accompanied by a link to the CNN article about Erica da Porto.

' _If you're not mine, you'll be nobody's. Take that, bitch. One last chance before I make you deny refusing me. – E._ '

“E?” Ali frowned. “Why does she keep changing name?”

“Maybe there was never a Kim to begin with,” Ashlyn said. “They're trying to confound us. And they're threatening again.”

Ali put an arm around her and Jill frowned, reading the text.

“Make sure to describe the woman who came to you at the pub to the police,” said Jill. “For now, we stick together, okay? Seeing it is so evident someone's trying to drag you down, I think it's safe to say the organization will stick with you. If police thinks is a good idea, perhaps best we can do is go public about this, say you have been receiving threats and we suspect this is just an extension of it.”

“Okay.”

“Stay strong, Harris. We need you.”

“I'll try my best, coach.”

Ashlyn skipped lunch to go for a few laps in the swimming pool. Ali stayed nearby, attending their phones. Before dinner, a new text had arrived, each getting more threatening than the last.

' _Tick tock, love me or I'll rip your throat – Z._ '

This prompted for Ashlyn to skip dinner and go to bed, feeling on the brink of an anxiety attack and needing her anxiety medication to keep going. Ali lied with her in bed until she fell asleep, and then attended a call from Teddy. During the day, their families had also called, but Ali had attended all calls, because Ashlyn didn't have the strength.

“I've been working with Martina all day,” said Teddy as Ali walked down the corridor with the phone pressed to her ear. “We got all those texts and we picked the original letter up from your house, and went with it all to the police, that has started an investigation and will warn the US Soccer Federation to establish extra security around your team. They're recommending you stay away, they think if you come back, you'll be in the lion's den. We also started a formal complaint for defamation against Erica da Porto, and spoke with the judge who's handing the rape thing, and gave her photos of all these threats for her to consider this whole thing may be a plot. She's pushed the police to conduct a full investigation, so American and Brazilian police will work together. We've also released a formal statement at Wasserman, should have all the information for you to know how to handle this publicly, and spoke with US Soccer, that has agreed on protecting Ashlyn until police has finished a full investigation. I've also texted you a mail address the police has given us for Ashlyn to send a full statement about what actually happened in 2016, clarifying her relationship with Erica da Porto, but she will need to come as soon as the Olympics are over.”

After the call, Ali walked to her bedroom and lied on the bed, reading the statement Wasserman had released:

' _In regards to our client, US goalkeeper Ashlyn M. Harris's being accused of rape by Brazilian model Erica da Porto, we would like to publicly inform that Ms Harris and Wasserman have been working together, alongside American police and a legal team, to clear this whole issue out. Ms Harris defends her innocence and is being fully collaborative, and until a judge says otherwise, Wasserman will stand by their client._

_That is why we have decided to publicly inform that Ms Harris has been receiving suspicious and threatening texts and letters by an anonymous sender for the past few weeks, of which we have informed everyone investigating da Porto's rape case, and we also have pushed for an independent investigation to be conducted on these here in the USA, in order to assure Ms Harris' safety. In regards to this, Wasserman and the police believe da Porto's formal complaint's timing is not casual, as it follows a number of threats against Ms Harris, and we will be doing everything in our power for things to be investigated properly and for the truth to be revealed._

_We can confirm that Ms Harris has never had any particular relationship with Erica da Porto, and this is simply a campaign to defame her and detriment the USWNT as they face the Tokyo Olympics. From now on, police themselves will keep everyone up to date with the investigation, as it is everyone's wishes to be transparent about this, because Ms Harris has nothing to hide._

_Thank you._ '

Ali took a deep breath and nodded before deciding to check if US Soccer had issued any formal statement either. They in fact had, just an hour before:

' _US Soccer informs that we are currently conducting an investigation in regards to some threats issued against USWNT goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris, and will be strengthening the security measures around the team during the Tokyo Olympics to assure all of our players and especially Ms Harris are properly protected._

_In regards to Erica da Porto's suing, US Soccer will stand by Ms Harris due to the presumption of innocence our Constitution guarantees, and will not be taking any measures against her until there is a firm sentence against her._

_We are helping the Brazilian investigators get to the bottom of the events of Rio Olympics and we can assure that no one in the team or staff recalls Ms Harris ever leaving the team, and Ms Harris stayed at the hotel for the one night before flying back to the USA after the USWNT loss versus Sweden. Hotel staff do not recall seeing her leave during the night either, and between this and the threats we've previously mentioned, we have every reason to believe on our player's innocence. Ms Harris will be collaborating actively to clear this whole thing out._ '

Ali breathed in relief and then decided she ought to say something too. She took her laptop to bed and went to her blog, deciding it'd be easier to write something there and then share it in her social media.

' _IN REGARDS TO ERICA DA PORTO'S COMMENTS ON MY WIFE:_

_I have no doubt that for reasons I cannot fathom Ms Da Porto has decided to lie to the world in order to ruin the reputation of a very good woman. I know her accusations are all false. On the night in particular in which my wife supposedly attacked her, Ashlyn was with me and the rest of the team, comforting us after the big loss before we had to fly back home in the morning. I've spent the entire day, since here in Japan there's a big hour difference with the USA, trying to remember every detail of that night, and you know what? You don't really forget such awful and disappointing times. I don't think anyone in the USWNT has forgotten what followed losing the Olympics. So I distinctly remember crying in Ashlyn's arms feeling like an utter disappointment, and having her comfort me and the rest of the players who played that game and who felt the most responsible and awful, and we all went to bed late fully knowing we had to catch the little sleep we could and grab a plane in the morning. I can also tell you that even though Ms Da Porto claims she was taken to Ashlyn's car, this cannot be true, because said car was all the way in our current garage in Orlando, Florida, and in Rio the team could only use some cars that on occasion were rented by the federation, but that we could never use without authorization. Besides, what would Ashlyn do one night all alone in the streets of a city she doesn't know and without knowing a word of Portuguese? I'll tell you what, after a decade knowing her, I know she didn't do; she didn't drink during a work trip, she didn't cheat on me, and she didn't hurt anyone._

_Ashlyn is my best friend, my wife, my life. I know her probably better than anyone else in the world, and I know in my heart she's incapable of doing any of the grave offences she's being accused of. She's always stood fiercely against rape and abuse, and she has never in her life known Ms Da Porto (we're positive that photograph was a manipulation), there isn't a reason why she'd want to hurt her or anyone else for that matter. I can't convince anyone to believe in her, but I will believe, I will protect her, and I will encourage her to speak nothing but the truth and help with the ongoing investigations because I'm sure the truth will come up. I trust all the professionals who are giving this their best, and I know they'll clean Ashlyn's name as it should be._

_But Erica, I want to ask you to please reconsider this madness. You're hurting a very good woman with lies. You don't know Ashlyn. She's pure heart, love and kindness, and if anyone hurt you that night, then a rapist is out there loose and you're just confused thinking it was Ashlyn, who could not have done it. I want you to think she's someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's favourite aunty, that she's a human being just like you and she suffers, and she's fought for this world to be better. Did you know she travelled all the way to help children in Liberia get an education? That she works closely with an organization called To Write Love On Her Arms to help strangers fight depression and stay alive? That if she had been there when you were attacked, she would've punched the hell out of your attacker and saved your life? Think about these things, and please think if you really remember what happened that night, and if you can swear it was Ashlyn who touched you, because if you keep on with false accusations, you won't only be ridiculed in front of the whole world, but the damage done to a good person will be irreparable. Sure, we can repair her public image and all of that, but she will not forget the pain you're causing her._

_And to the rest of you, I can only ask you to please let the presumption of innocence prevail and don't be quick to point fingers, when Ashlyn's behaviour has always been unquestionable an impeccable for as long as she's been a grown-up adult. She's admitted mistakes she's done in the past, and I've got no doubt that, if she had made another, she'd be the first to admit it, but she's a new, much better person now. As you might have heard, Ashlyn has been receiving some threats for a few weeks now, so there is a lot going on at the moment and if she hasn't said anything to you yet is because I don't think she'd know what to say. In the matter of one day I've seen her suffer like you wouldn't believe, and she's trying to keep her head above water, focus on the game and the team, and trust everything will be okay in the end. I can only hope you and I can help her with all of this._

_For now, we're going to do our best to focus on the Olympics and bring a few nice medals to the USA. Thank you for your support.'_

  
  


  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Torment.**

“Come on, Ashlyn, eat a little,” Ali encouraged her wife during pre-game lunch.

In a matter of a couple days, death threats had become an usual thing, and they were each more disturbing by the last, but Ashlyn got those texts singed by different letters between three and five times a day, every single day. On the other hand, a large portion of the world had sided with Da Porto, and filled Ashlyn's social media with hatred, threats, and literal wishes for her to 'have some dignity' and kill herself, even though now there was more evidence in favour of Ashlyn's innocence, as there were no witnesses of her having been in a club, but there were several witnesses that Ashlyn had been in the team hotel with the others, and US Soccer could confirm from their records that Ashlyn never asked to use one of their cars for a night. Besides, Heather O'Reilly, Ashlyn's roommate at the time, could recall they both had gone to bed very late, and that if Ashlyn had awoken and left the room, she would've known, because she's a light sleeper and her bed was the closest to the door. She also recalled they woke up together very early, and Ashlyn wasn't hungover or anything that would suggest she had been partying during the night. And the club owners could not recall having Ashlyn there that night, although they did say it had been many years before, but that they did remember Erica da Porto there, just not Ashlyn.

However, the goalkeeper wasn't doing good. Ever since news came out, all her teammates had gradually manifested their support, but she didn't really talk with any of them, only with Ali and the coaching staff. On the field, she did her job as if nothing was wrong, but once she stepped out of her cleats, she barely ate, she spent most of her time in the gym or the pool doing exercise, and even though she spoke with their sports' psychologist, she slept badly and only looked in her prime while on the field. Her family had come over, many of them, to show their support, as well as Teddy, but she still wasn't herself around them either. She never felt like going out or doing anything, and now it was the day of the game versus Brazil and she seemed to be dreading it.

“I'm not really hungry,” Ashlyn mumbled as Ali held out a toast for her.

“I know, but you still have to eat,” Ali said gently, kissing her temple. She was allowing herself to have some PDA with her in order to comfort her. “Come on, babe... just one toast, for me.”

“For you?” Ashlyn took the toast. “Anything.” Ali smiled and watched her eat.

“That's right Ash, we need you,” Megan smiled at her warmly. Ashlyn looked coldly at her and stood up.

“I'll finish it, but I should go tape my wrists,” Ashlyn said abruptly before leaving. Megan's smile faded and she sighed.

“She's still mad no one stepped up for her in the heat of the moment?” Megan murmured, looking at Ali.

“I don't think she's mad, she's just...” Ali shrugged. “Having some trouble knowing who to trust, who's in her side. Let's not forget someone got her personal number somehow and is using it to threaten her day and night.”

“Does she think it's one of us?” Alex Morgan inquired with a frown.

“No, but that doesn't mean she wasn't deeply hurt and disappointed by seeing herself almost completely alone a few days ago, right? Maybe she's not angry, but it doesn't mean it didn't stung. And maybe seeing you guys shut it for full 24h hours is making her rethink just how close you are to her, how much of good friends you are, how trustworthy you are, and maybe she doesn't know her place with you anymore, so she feels better getting some space.”

“Yet she still manages to go into the field and play her best,” Sydney commented. “That girl is pure warrior material.”

“That's Ashlyn Harris for you,” said Ali. “And to be honest, guys... you really disappointed me too. I thought someone would come before she went to bed that day, or first thing in the morning... but none of you did. And I keep thinking how, hadn't I been called here, she would've been completely an utterly alone, with a twelve hour difference keeping her from calling me. We invited you to the most special day of our lives just seven months ago... and she always said we had to make space for all of you because we couldn't leave a single sister out. Sister. What happened to you?”

“We're sorry, Ali, we've told her...” Carli said. “This is a whole mess and none of us knew what to do.”

“Oh really?” Ali snorted. “Funny coming from you, who were the first to support Hope when all of us gave her the cold shoulder, only that back then she _did_ do something. Yet I thought we all learned our lesson from that, and that this time we'd know to put the team first and stay united no matter what. I thought we were more united than ever, in fact, and I thought it'd be the first response in anyone's instinct to reach out for a hurting sister instead of abandoning her to her luck. Fortunately, we can all be professional and play like a pack of wolves out there no matter what, but you can be sure that off the field, this isn't right. A sorry doesn't quite make up for the harm of turning your back on family when the world's frying her, when she's been this close to lose her job for something she hasn't even done... I think what you all didn't do hurt more than Da Porto's words. Think about that.”

Ali sighed and stood up, grabbing an apple and leaving them.

Once at the stadium, things just worsened. When Ashlyn stepped on the field, at least a thousand 'boo!!!' were bellowed in the stands, and when she looked up she saw all the Brazilian fans had huge placards, many of which said things such as 'Rapist Harris', pictured Ashlyn behind bars, said things like 'Go to Hell Harris' or encouraged the Brazilians to 'Make the rapist pay!'. And they were in English for the goalkeeper to understand. Ashlyn bowed her head down and remained on her seat, unmoving, even when Ali reached to hold her hand. When the USA hymn sounded, she stood up with the others with her eyes shut close, head down, and a hand trembling over her chest, and Ali's heart hurt for her.

The USWNT played as if nothing was happening off the field. By the seventh minute they had scored, and on the tenth, Marta managed to score on the Americans, and on the attempt to avoid the goal, Alyssa Naeher, the USWNT goalkeeper, was suddenly down on the field, seemingly hurt. She appeared to have hurt her head hard against another player or the goalpost.

“Shit,” Ali blurted out, and slapped Ashlyn's arm so hard she looked up.

“What?”

“Lyssa's hurt,” said Ali. “Your turn, Ashlyn.”

Ashlyn's eyes widened looking at Alyssa, her heart hammering in anxiety. She couldn't play with _this_ crowd.

“Ashlyn!” the coach shouted at her. “Get up, we need you!”

“Come on Harris, show them how it's done,” Allie encouraged her.

Ashlyn stood up and clenched her jaw before removing the substitutes' uniform and standing on her jersey, putting on the shin guards under her socks, that she straightened up, and putting on her gloves before running to do some warming-up on the sidelines while half the stadium booed. She kept her eyes back and forth on Alyssa, worried about her friend, seeing as she was checked by the staff and finally, stretchered out of the field in a precautionary measure.

“Lyssa!” Ashlyn rushed to her on the verge of the team. Her teammate had a neck-brace on and looked in pain, but opened her eyes to her. “It's going to be okay, they'll take good care of you.”

“Ash,” Alyssa stretched a hand to squeeze hers, gesturing for the staff to stop for a moment. “Our team needs you now, okay? This is your chance. Stun them all by doing what none of them thought you could do.” She added Ashlyn's own quote with a smile, and Ashlyn smiled back.

“Won't disappoint. You go get healthy.”

The boos followed as Ashlyn ran to the goalposts, but she focused on the game and making herself deaf for them. She instead focused on the flag's colours, the placards in encouragement of her and their team, her teammates' moves, the ball racing through the field. She spent the whole first half doing amazing saves, and by the end of it, no more goals had been scored on neither team.

“Bloody great job,” Ali grinned, kissing her temple in the tunnel. “My beast. I'm so proud.”

“Just keeping up with you,” Ashlyn chuckled at her.

“Kriegs, you're going into the field in the second half,” said Jill once they were all in the locker room. “We need you to get some minutes in case there are more injuries in the semifinals...” Ali grinned and Ashlyn patted her back proudly.

“As I was just saying...” Ashlyn murmured to her ear.

As they all went out to warm-up before the second half, Ashlyn crossed paths with Marta, Toni and Camila, Brazilian players and teammates in the Orlando Pride.

“We were looking for you,” said Marta. “Listen, you didn't do it, did you?” she asked with fierce eyes, grabbing her arm roughly.

“I didn't, I swear, Marta. I'm being framed.”

“Then,” said Camila, “kick some ass and show them it takes more than some lies to beat the shark up.” She smiled at her and Ashlyn looked stupefied.

“Come on Harris, we know a good person when we see it. But don't let the others know we love you,” Toni added with a playful wink, and Ashlyn grinned.

“I know nothing, have seen nothing,” she joked. “Good luck!”

She rushed to the team and once more ignored the booing, also during the second half. When the game ended, they were 1-1 so a round of penalties was needed. Ashlyn stopped the first four, getting the American supporters to roar in delight, while the Brazilian goalkeeper also stopped the first four. But then, in the end, Ali scored on the Brazilian, and the entire stadium seemed to watch expectantly for Ashlyn to either fail or push the USA into the semifinals. The booing got worse than ever and some started loudly singing 'Harris the Rapist' followed by three claps.

Ashlyn closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and focused on the ball before motioning for the ref to allow the last penalty. The ball shoot for the upper corner, Ashlyn stretched her whole body with a groan to grab the ball... and she felt her hands wrap tightly against it as she fell on the grass with a thud. The American supporters were on their feet screaming in excitement and as she looked up in disbelief, she saw the Brazilians crumble and her teammates run to her screaming. Ali got to her first, just as she managed to stand up, and suddenly Ashlyn was buried in a sea of congratulations and hugs from her teammates.

And for once, all the shit around her seemed to vanish away.

Once in the locker room, Ashlyn felt dirty so she decided to try for a shower.

“All of them are taken,” Carli told her as she exited the room where the showers were. “Crystal just got in mine, and some of the girls are still waiting for a free one.”

“Ugh... I'll go to the others then...”

This particular stadium had more showers in an adjacent room, the only but being having to walk out of the locker room with your bag of towels and clothes for about a couple minutes until you reached the other room. She turned right on the corridor, following the signs in both Japanese and English, for her comfort, and without trouble found the two doors, one for the men's showers and another for the women's, at the end of a very short corridor. The Brazilians must also be short on showers, because she heard a shower running and someone singing in Portuguese, and headed for another shower. These were extra showers, so they were shared by both teams, and she hoped not to run into anyone who hated her. She got in her cubicle and began rubbing the sweat away properly.

The warm water seemed to relax her senses and make her feel more recovered by the minute. Her muscles calmed down and she stretched touching the ceiling with the tips of her fingers and groaning as she cracked her neck a bit. These past few weeks had been the worst, and she only hoped she'd be able to stand all that there was still left to stand. Once the shower was finished, she dried herself properly and, without leaving the cubicle, put on her underwear, t-shirt and baggy sports trousers, putting her feet back in her flip-flops, deciding she'd put her shoes and do her hair back in the locker room. Being away from the team in an unknown place gave her an uneasy feeling.

As she left her cubicle, the cubicle next to hers, where she hadn't been conscious of anyone showering, also opened and she turned to look. But before she could see anyone, she felt lots of pain on her left cheek and jaw that sent her on her knees almost colliding with the doors of the cubicles in front. Only then did she realize she had been punched. Before she could react, she received a kick straight to her stomach that made her collapse with a grunt, and as she attempted to stand up in her flip-flops and in the small space, with the floor somehow wet, she felt someone move behind her and suddenly she was pulled back to sit on her heels, a plastic bag having been thrown over her head. Whoever was grabbing the bag was pulling back, closing it around her neck and making her mouth and nose press against the plastic. She frantically tried to rid herself of it as she felt her lungs ache, the room blurry through the plastic, and then everything went black.

  
  



	6. Blind fight

**Chapter 6: Blind fight.**

“Ashlyn, wake up! Come on baby, don't do this to me!”

Ashlyn groaned as her eyes opened and she gasped for air, inhaling hard as she blinked. She was lying on the cubicles' corridor, her back wet from the water someone had let onto the floor, and Ali was kneeling next to her looking worried sick and holding her face delicately between both hands. Kelley squatted on the other side, also looking very worried.

“Ash, you okay? What happened?”

“I uh...” Ashlyn looked around, confused, then gasped as Ali touched her bruised cheek, and the memories came flowing back. Wasn't she being asphyxiated with a bag a second ago? Where was her attacker? “Someone tried to kill me.”

“What?” Ali scowled.

“Yeah, first off, this corridor was dry, someone left a tap open. Secondly, I was just heading out when someone punched me, but it was so fast I didn't see it, caught me completely by surprise,” Ashlyn explained, trying to sit up, and rubbing her neck. Then Ali noticed the bruise there.

“Your neck, what...?”

“They tried to asphyxiate me with a bag. I thought... I fainted from the lack of oxygen, I guess...” Ashlyn looked around, somehow still expecting the attacker to be around. “They must've thought I died. Ugh...” she felt sharp pain in her side and pulled her t-shirt up to reveal a large bruise.

“Jesus Christ Ash,” Kelley gasped. “Did the attacker do that?”

“I was kicked,” Ashlyn nodded with a groan.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Ali asked, more worried, putting her hands on her shoulders and trying to get a better view.

“No, I think I'm okay. How come you found me?”

“You'd been gone for over half an hour and we were about to head back to the bus, so we came to fetch you,” said Kelley. “Found you sprawled here. I'm going to call security, someone had to see something... you didn't see them, right?”

“No... the punch caught me right as I opened the door, didn't have time to see anything, and then they stayed behind me.”

“I'll get you back to the lockers. Perhaps the medical team can check you properly before we get in the bus.” Ali said while Kelley went out, helping her to her feet. “Fuck, Ash... the threats weren't kidding...” she hugged her and kissed her cheek.

“I'm afraid not, babe. But I'm okay now.”

“Because you were incredibly lucky. Next time they won't make such mistake.”

They returned to the locker room as her cheek turned purple, an angry bruise starting to show around her neck, and the team was impressed and shocked. While a medic checked Ashlyn over, Ali told everyone what had happened, Kelley returning to inform them police was on its way, and they'd have to sit there until security was guaranteed.

“Don't worry, I'll be fine for the semifinals against Sweden,” Ashlyn said as the team and coaching staff sat around the large locker room with expressions of shock and deep concern. “Any news on Alyssa, by the way?”

“Alyssa's going to be fine, it's just a mild concussion, but she'll have to rest for the rest of the Olympics,” said Jill Ellis. “However, Sweden's not my biggest concern. You could be dead, you _should_ be dead, you got off in pure luck, I'm far more worried about having a player die than about losing the Olympics.”

“Well you shouldn't. It was stupid of me to go off alone with all the threats I've been getting, I should've been more guarded,” said Ashlyn. “Next time, I'll kick them proper, I won't be surprised twice.”

“There can't be a next time. Maybe... maybe we should go home, Ash...” Ali suggested with a deep frown.

“Home? Home's where I was _followed_ to the park, with Sydney's kids!” Ashlyn puffed. “No one can hurt me as long as I'm on the pitch, and when I'm not, I'll be more careful. But we know one thing for sure, someone's going through long lengths to make sure I don't survive the Olympics, flying first to Orlando now to Japan, orchestrating the whole thing with Erica... this isn't an amateurish job. For all we know, they might be sitting home in a manor while someone hired does the dirty job, and if that's the case, then Orlando is the last place I can go to. Our house is fucking glass, I wouldn't have where to hide.”

“Bulletproof glass,” Ali reminded her.

“Still. Although maybe... maybe I should travel solo. Whoever's after me expects me to be with the rest of the team, and I don't want to endanger you all.”

“You're not going solo, Ash!” Tobin intervened. “Whoever is trying to kill you has left it clear they don't want to catch you while the rest of us are close. They didn't come into the hotel, and they didn't come into the locker room. They're waiting until you're alone, so if we don't leave you alone, you should be safe. All of us should.”

“Look I can't risk the entire team's lives for my ass, okay?!” Ashlyn stood up angrily. “You're the team everyone hates for supporting someone they deem a rapist! You're also the team everyone hates for being the number one! As long as I'm with you, you all could end up dead, they could go into your bedrooms at night, the showers, the stadiums... I propose I separate, I can be in another hotel and we'll meet on the pitch for training and games. I won't ask you to risk your lives for me.”

The team sat down deep in thought for a moment and then Christen stood up.

“You're right, you can't ask that of us, so don't. We'll do what we think it's best, and I think... I want to be with you. I'm not leaving you alone to be killed, we're a team, aren't we? I know you'd stand up for any of us... and I don't know you guys, but it makes _me_ fucking furious to think someone just tried to kill my teammate, my friend, and I'm not going to allow it, but whoever feels unsafe could be put into a separate hotel or something, so no one will be forced to risk their neck.”

“Christen's right, and you're my wife,” said Ali firmly. “If someone wants to kill you they'll have to kill me first.”

“Damn it Ali, I don't want you to die for me, what am I supposed to do without you?” Ashlyn looked sadly at her and Ali pecked her lips softly.

“And what would I do without you, uh, silly? But together... we'll never have to find out.” She gripped her hand tightly and smiled, and Ashlyn nodded, knowing there was no arguing possible.

“As a matter of fact, if someone wants to kill you they'll have to kill me first, too,” Megan said, standing up.

“And me,” Tobin stood up.

“And me,” Alex Morgan stood up. At once, the entire team was up and looking very determined.

“Very well ladies...” Jill smiled at the team. “Let's kick some ass, on and off the pitch. Oosa on three!”

Once on the bus, Ashlyn sat next to Ali and immediately leaned onto her shoulder. The doctor had said she was only bruised, and the pain should subside in a couple days. The semifinals were four days away, so hopefully it'd be enough time. But she was shaken and kept replaying the events in her head, trying to think what she could have done differently. Ali's company comforted her and, once in the hotel, she went straight to her bedroom, exhausted. In the hotel they had bigger security, and she made sure to walk through the corridors with the most security cameras just in case.

“Mum?” Ashlyn called her mother on the phone as she lied in bed. “I need you to go back to Florida.”

It took a lot of arguing and convincing, but an hour later her family was convinced they had to head home so they'd be safe, so this attacker wouldn't use them to get to Ashlyn. As she was about to close her eyes, her phone rang and she saw a secret number was calling. With her heart accelerating in her chest, she took the call.

“Listen, you fucking—,”

“You got lucky this time,” a robotic voice said. “I don't make mistakes twice. Enjoy every breath while you have them.” The call ended and Ashlyn lied there, uneasy, gulping a knot in her throat. She thought of Ali then, how unsafe she was next to her, and hoped with all of her that police would find the attacker soon. Sure they'd be in the stadium cameras, right?

After that call, there was a suspicious silence that made Ashlyn feel the more uneasy. Suddenly, Erica da Porto admitted publicly that she couldn't be sure Ashlyn had been the one to attack her that night, that as a matter of fact it could've been a man, and that she didn't even think Ashlyn's voice was familiar, which meant they probably had never even met. She apologized profusely and the world followed, but Ashlyn couldn't find it in her neither to forget or to pay attention anymore. By the time the semifinals came, she had no more calls, texts... nothing. They won the game and the more everyone was cheerful and happily thinking it was all over, the more Ashlyn worried. Her instincts told her it couldn't be so easy, and she insisted that her friends and family remained home.

Finally, they won the Olympics. For those few minutes Ashlyn felt incredible, having had two clean sheets in a row, representing her country with a golden medal in the neck and the love of her life beside her, and for one moment, just one moment, she allowed herself to forget the hell of all the past few weeks. Back in the locker room, however, the environment was full-on party. Everyone was jumping up and down, music blasting and champagne being poured to everyone.

“Ash!” Ali jumped to Ashlyn's arms with a huge grin. “I never gave you a proper congratulations.” That said, she gave Ashlyn such an intense kiss that she lost her breath for one second. Ashlyn couldn't help but moan into the kiss as she wrapped her arms around her tightly, with Ali's legs around her hips.

“Fuck, I love you,” Ashlyn whispered against her lips as they separated. “I should give you a proper congratulations too, penalty kick girl.” Ali grinned shamelessly.

“Do you realize we'll never play another big tournament again?”

“That's not entirely true, we have parenthood, that's a full-on resistance championship,” Ali grinned impossibly bigger, kissing her again.

“I love you so much.”

“I can't wait to do the rest of our lives together,” Ashlyn buried her face on the crook of her neck and smiled to herself. Life was bloody sweet at times.

Only a couple days later was the closure of the Olympics and, like all the other athletes who had stayed, they decided to go, even if it meant getting into silly uniforms. But when they saw that this year the uniform was suits for everyone, Ashlyn beamed and cheered.

“Let's get fancy girls!”

Kissing Ali in the middle of the closing ceremony with their medals on, their wedding rings on, and their hands intertwined between them was a whole new feeling. Ashlyn glanced down into Ali's beautiful tiger eyes and knew she was putting her best 'whipped face'. Ali reached to caress her face.

“We are on the top of the world,” Ali whispered. “And we did this together. I'm so proud of you.”

“I couldn't walk two steps without you,” Ashlyn kissed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before pulling her to walk forward with the rest of the team. “Enjoy this, my love. It won't happen again.”

The ceremony was very long, full of music and concert, but they enjoyed every minute of it together as a team. By the end, both Ashlyn and Ali had tears in their eyes and huge smiles, and when they finally left the stadium to head back to the hotel, they were overjoyed, arms around each other.

“Can I tell you a little something?” Ashlyn whispered into Ali's ear as they walked together towards the team bus waiting outside in the chilly night. Ali smiled and inclined her head closer to her, as it was so loud it was hard to hear. “I am so happy I got to do this whole journey with you by my side. I can't imagine living this without you, but I know it wouldn't be nearly as great. Thank you for being there with me, Al. You've always been the light at the end of my tunnels and I'd be nothing without you.” Ali grinned at her, but before she could answer, Ashlyn saw through peripheral vision how in the darkness, a shadow managed to break through the security barrier that separated the team from the fans. Before the resultant commotion could stop them, someone ran to Ali and Ashlyn saw something shine in the darkness. “Ali NO!” Ashlyn pulled from Ali's arm hard, fast enough to quickly pull her behind her, stepping forward just as the armed person, whose face was covered with a mask and who whore a hoodie on, lunched a dagger forward, right where a moment before Ali had been. Instead, the dagger pierced into Ashlyn's belly just above her navel, diving forward inside of her and piercing her intestines. Ten seconds had been enough for the attacker to break-through, but surprise reflected in their eyes seeing their victim wasn't Ali, but Ashlyn.

Ashlyn gasped for air, seeing Kim's surprised dark eyes, widened, for one moment before the police jumped on her and took her away. Ashlyn collapsed on her knees, and at once, the team realized of what had happened and Ali knelt before her with tears in her eyes as Ashlyn looked down, her hands shaking as they hovered around the handle of a dagger that was deep in her. As she looked at it, the pain seemed to hit her like a train, and she closed her eyes, fainting.

  
  



	7. No shits given

**Chapter 7: No shits given.**

A week after the attack, Ashlyn was sitting back on a hospital bed in one of Orlando's top hospitals, with Ali sitting by her bedside on an armchair. The dagger had gone straight into her colon, and then pierced her stomach, causing such a spill of bacteria and gastric contents that she had consequently endured a major infection, that had required five days of medically induced coma and an unbelievable amount of antibiotics to treat so it wouldn't kill her. Now, though, she was awake for a second consecutive day, not feeling too in pain, and with a very low fever as her body fought the last of the infection that had almost ended her. It had been such a close call, that Ali had admitted to Ashlyn the doctor had, at one point, told her to call the family and prepare for the worst. She had needed up to three surgeries, one immediately and brief to handle the worst of the damage and stabilize her for the little time they could touch her before it became too much for her weakened body, another to completely repair her intestines and stomach and clean inside a little, and a third to repair the abdominal muscle. In consequence, the family had been deeply stressed, and now a bandage covered most of her stomach.

She hadn't been herself much since waking up. First tired and disoriented, the reality of the situation had soon hit Ashlyn and she was reacting badly. To begin with, she was emotionally and physically worn out; for weeks she had been threatened, stood through half the world bullying her through social media and believing she was a rapist, endured investigation after investigation and still played an Olympics. Then, as if she hadn't feel alone and miserable enough, now she had to comprehend that a complete stranger who was only twenty-six had been so furious with her to orchestrate a whole plan to hurt her, making her think she was going to kill her when, in reality, she'd rather kill Ali so Ashlyn had to suffer the most. Now they knew the elaborated plan had included blackmailing Erica da Porto with some compromising photographs from a party, following Ashlyn across the world, and buying several payphones, all with the only explanation that she was bloody out of her mind.

So now, Ashlyn wasn't sleeping well and, to be honest, she wasn't eating much either. Part of it was logical due to her injuries, so her doctors didn't pressure too much and were happy if she ate one or two light meals a day, at least for now, but another part was purely emotional. She felt so down, so mistreated by the world, that she was never hungry, nor talkative, for that matter. Her friends and family came daily in turns, coming and going in constant movement, trying to cheer her up in-between going to work and attending their families, but no one quite managed to help much.

“Babe, come on,” Ali pleaded her, trying for Ashlyn to at least look at her, since her gaze always seemed lost somewhere, as if she wasn't really there, “you need to eat something, or they'll put a tube down your nose. Please.” She held a light soup the nurses had brought to Ashlyn for lunch, but the younger woman leaned back against the pillows and stared into empty space.

“What's the point anyway,” Ashlyn murmured, her eyes moving to the soup with no enthusiasm.

“What do you mean darling?” Tammye, her mother, asked, perched on the bed next to her.

“I'm a waste of space,” the goalkeeper shrugged. “I'd be better off in a coffin.”

“That is not true,” Ali sentenced firmly.

“Sweetie, why would you feel like that?” Tammye looked sadly at her only daughter. “Don't you see how much we love you, how much you matter to us?”

“You raised me to be good, Mum,” Ashlyn murmured sadly, looking at her, “to do good with whatever I had and try and help people. And I've tried, Mum, I've tried so hard, and for a moment there I thought I achieved something, after all these years... yet the world only needed one complete stranger to lie to condemn me, as if suddenly all I've ever done didn't exist. Even my own friends doubted me at first, even they thought I could maybe rape some kid... how much must Kim have hated me, do you imagine, to have gone against me so fiercely for so many weeks, even going as far as to Japan...? And instead of facing her, I...” her eyes filled with tears and she shook her head. This was the most she had spoken in days. “I hid behind my friends, put all of them in danger and... she could've killed Ali... what kind of person lets her wife be in danger like that? How could I?”

“Ashlyn, listen to me,” Ali put the soup aside and leaned forward, grabbing her hand. “This isn't your fault. You are a remarkably good person, okay? And you have to believe me, because I'd know, don't you think? I live with you, after all. I see first hand all the great things you do, how much you care about people and how much you help out to make this world better. The fact that someone lost her right mind and decided you had to love her or suffer is in no way your fault, you could not have done anything to prevent it, you're just a good person bad things have happened to... and none of your friends ever really doubted you, they were just shocked. I'm sure no one who truly knows you ever believed, not for one second, so low of you, but even if they did, that's their mistake, that doesn't mean you did anything wrong.”

“I should've protected you,” Ashlyn sobbed out, tears streaming quietly, “I am your wife! I should've kept you out of harm's way!”

“And you did! Look at you, you were stabbed for me.”

“I should've never let her get so close to you! I saved you by a millimetre-!”

“That's right,” Ali interrupted, “you saved me. And it's not your responsibility to fight crime, Ash. I married a goalkeeper, not a police officer, and thank God I did. Shut up,” she said gently pressing a finger against Ashlyn's lips as she was about to speak, “If I don't blame you, you can't either.”

“But Ali!”

“What? You saved my life, you don't get to carry the blame of the world on your shoulders, understood? Now eat,” Ali took the soup again, “You're getting too thin and you need to stay strong.”

Ashlyn watched her in astonishment.

“Aren't you angry?”

“Of course not, at least not at you,” Ali smiled warmly and leaned to peck her lips. “You are the love of my life. Get it in your head, Harris. But do so while eating, please.”

With a light frown, but knowing better than arguing with Ali, Ashlyn took the soup in her arms and started eating a little. Ali smiled proudly, kissing her cheek before getting up and going to the closet to get her a clean pyjama to change into for bed once she was done eating. It was normal for her to not eat much as she recovered from her wounds, but she knew Ali would be happy with the little she had managed to gulp down. It was more than she had eaten the day before, after all.

“No more,” Ashlyn said with a childish pout that made Ali smile sweetly, leaning to kiss her forehead and taking the bowl from her.

“Very well, let's change you, since the nurses washed you before and you're still in your sweaty gown,” the doctors had just allowed pyjamas, so Ashlyn got rid of her gown with a little too much excitement and looked down and her bandaged belly. “I'll help you, babe.”

Ashlyn nodded and let Ali help her into her pyjama shorts and her dinosaur t-shirt.

“Why did you bring the dinosaur ones?” Ashlyn frowned a little. “The nurses are going to think I'm a child.”

“But they're your favourite! Well, after the shark ones, but those were in the laundry, so... Why, don't you like them?” Ali frowned, pouting, and Ashlyn smiled small.

“I was just drying to keep my dignity, but you're right dinosaurs are the best... on land.” Tammye laughed at her wife's antics, happy to see her a little bit more herself, and got up.

“Well I better leave before Logan shits all over your house, but I'll be back later once the pup is all done,” Tammye kissed her daughter's cheek. “You be good and rest.”

“Thanks for looking after Logan, Mum.”

“She's my granddaughter, what do you expect?” Tammye smiled, moving to hug Ali. “Thank Godness you're such an expert on how to deal with a stubborn Harris.”

“Trying my best, see you later,” Ali chuckled and as Tammye left, she sat on the verge of Ashlyn's bed, squeezing her thigh lightly. “How are you feeling now?”

Ashlyn shrugged and sighed, adjusting the sheets around her waist as she sat up in bed.

“I'm really trying not to be a pain in everyone's asses, Ali, it's just...” she looked at Ali like a big child with her dark green t-shirt with a multitude of mini dinosaurs all over it, and her best defeated expression. “I can't help that all that's happened weights a lot in my chest.”

“I know,” Ali caressed her cheek softly, “but if it serves of any consolation, one, you're not a pain in anyone's ass, and two...” she put an arm around her shoulders and pressed her cheek against the top of her head. “What you feel is normal. And tomorrow it'll be better.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. Now, why don't we have a little nap time?”

“Mmm... okay,” Ashlyn leaned her head against her shoulder and closed her eyes. “My belly hurts a little less today.”

“Good,” Ali closed her eyes. “I won't let anyone hurt you again, love. Not once more.”

“You rest too, Al. We'll worry more on another time.”

While Ashlyn was sleeping, Ali was awoken by her phone just a couple hours later. Hurrying up, she answered before Ashlyn could be awoken, and cautiously moved off the bed to take the phone call.

“Who is it?” Ali whispered into her phone, her eyes moving to Ashlyn, who has stretched but seemed to be back to dreamland. “Oh, Doctor Desmond...” she listened to her OB/GYN in silence and at last, nodded, her eyes saddened, but with the knowledge that she couldn't talk much because she'd awake Ashlyn, and she wasn't about to leave the room. The sole idea of keeping her off her sight leaving her alone gave her the worst anxiety. “All right, I understand. Thank you, bye.”

Ali let a long sight out and clenched her eyes close as she shoved her phone into her pocket filled with disappointment.

“What was that?” Ashlyn had woken-up and looked at her sleepily from the bed. Ali forced a smile instantly and rushed to her bedside, caressing her hair and feeling her chest warm as she looked at Ashlyn's sleepy face.

“Nothing important. How are you feeling, gorg?”

“I'm fine, but you are bullshit. That smile's so fake that it wouldn't even be worth a penny.”

“Oh, is that it?”

“What's wrong, babe?” Ashlyn asked, frowning in worry and raising a hand to caress her face. Ali sighed and smiled sadly, small.

“When I had my medical check-up before the Olympics, I decided that since I was doing doctors anyway, I could pass by Doctor Desmond's consult and get a full check, since we were going to start the pregnancy process after the Olympics... she was just calling now. She's gotten some results for tests she got and... they're not good.”

Ashlyn scowled and, as she worried more, she sat up straight, wincing and bringing a hand to her belly as she accidentally hurt herself.

“What is it?”

“Well it's not risky for me, so you can relax,” Ali sat on the verge of the bed, slumping her shoulders, and Ashlyn took her hand between hers, locking eyes. “Apparently the shape of my uterus is not... not good. It's like... she said it's almost divided in two, like, very heavily dented, and that the chances of miscarriage are really high and... well, it's not worth spending thousands to try to get pregnant if it's going to be like that.”

“Sure it can be surgically corrected?” Ashlyn hoped for.

“Yes, partially, but the doctor said the surgery would affect such a large part of the uterus that there would still be great chances of miscarriage, because previous surgeries are a factor for infertility as well,” Ali sighed. “And then she also said that it could even cause scarring and make the whole thing worse. So she said that, if I'm fine as I obviously are because I never had irregularities and no one ever suspected there was something wrong to begin with, then I shouldn't risk it suffering a surgery that it's not really even going to help that much, and that is not cheap.”

“Shit, Alex... I'm so sorry baby,” Ashlyn sighed, cupping her face and bringing her in for a kiss. “It sucks... although I am glad that is not going to affect your quality of life, that is not something worse. Are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, don't worry,” Ali shrugged, caressing her hand. “It's a big bummer but...” she sighed deeply. “There's nothing I can do, and I'm glad we found out now and not through losing a child. Although that does leave us with one huge question... are we ever going to actually have a baby?”

Ashlyn squeezed her hand, thoughtful. She was never going to be pregnant, because with the amount of knee surgeries and hip surgeries she had had, she knew for her to get pregnant would be most likely very painful and difficult nine months, and she feared how it could affect her ability to carry. How was she going to successfully do her life for nine months with a baby inside if the more her baby grew the worse her already bad knees got? And she couldn't be sedentary nine months, she was sure that couldn't be good for her baby development either. They'd have to find another way.

“Well there's womb renting, or... we could adopt. In the end, Logan was technically an adoption, and we've done well,” Ashlyn offered.

“I don't like womb renting, it doesn't quite feel completely ethical for me...” Ali frowned, but then nodded sideways, thoughtful. “But adoption could be a good idea. We could be foster parents first, to warm-up into it, and then... go from there, right? It'd be so nice to take a child who was born under unfortunate circumstances and...” she smiled dreamingly, “turn their whole luck around, give them a life with all they deserve.” Ashlyn smiled warmly and nodded.

“Right? It's like... when we took Logan out of that horrible kennel, she was so scared but you could see how relieved she was. How for the first time she could let her guard down and relax, get out of a dirty cell with ten thousand poor dogs... I think there are so many kids in the world, and people keep making more never thinking of the forgotten ones going from foster home to foster home but never getting a real family in their whole lives, and one day they become adults and get popped into the world with zero shits given, all alone and unhappy. But we could change a few lives, we always wanted a big family... and this way, a handful of lives will be improved, helped... we could make so many kids happy, Ali. Kids whose only crime in life have been being born in the wrong families.”

“You're so right,” Ali smiled bigger, excited. “I can't wait to see their beautiful faces when they see their own bedroom for the first time, with the pool and the dog and all... I mean, how many of them do you think dream with having a puppy?”

“Or a pony,” Ashlyn made Ali chuckle, “we could sell us like that. Two mothers and a pony.” Ali laughed and Ashlyn snorted a laugh. “All the kids will be fighting to come with us!”

“Let's do it,” Ali said with a full grin, kissing Ashlyn softly on the lips. “Let's be the coolest, most diverse family in the world. Better than the Jolie-Pitts.” Ashlyn chuckled against her lips.

“Damn right...”

  
  



	8. Baby steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there's anything in particular you'd like to read about, I always accept suggestions and petitions, by the way. I'm always writing, and ideas are always welcomed.

**Chapter 8: Baby steps.**

“Foster parents in Florida must be at least 21 year old...”

“Check.”

“Have a background check conducted on all adults in the house, including FBI, child abuse, civil checks, law enforcements...”

“Well, that should be fine,” Ashlyn looked over Ali's shoulder as Ali read from her phone, sitting on the verge of her bed after their friends had finished visiting for the day.

“You must have a legal, stable and documented income... is football considered a stable employment?”

“We're both about to leave the national team, which grants us plenty of time at home, and we have a stable job at the Pride.”

“What if they don't like how much we travel with the Pride?” Ali asked insecurely.

“There's daycare, we could get them big enough for nursery or school...” Ashlyn shrugged. “We could take turns with travelling. After all, we only ready work from March to September with the Pride, most of the time home, and I'm going to be on medical leave anyway for a long time, so I'll be home. And once I'm not, we could get a nanny for the occasional two days away for a game, or ask the system if our parents can babysit. Your Mum is a teacher and a charmer, there's absolutely no way she doesn't get approved.”

Ali smiled and leaned against her happily, looking back at her phone.

“Thirty hours of pre-service training.”

“Thirty? Well, at least we won't jump into the pool unprepared then...”

“Oh and look!” Ali pointed to the screen. “All applicants must identify a back-up person, someone who can take care of the child in your home in the event of an emergency or to give you a break. All back-ups must be cleared through the background screening process. It is also highly recommended that back-ups who provide primary care for the kid also complete the pre-service training. We could ask our family and Liz maybe, or Mum! Maybe get two or three cleared for our trips.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea, love,” Ashlyn kissed her cheek. She had to admit that being in the hospital was becoming easier now that they filled their days dreaming with fostering a child.

“A water safety class... woah, we surely are going to need that. The system person is going to flip when she sees how much water is around us,” Ali chuckled, amused as she imagined the shocked face. “Two home visits with all family members... I imagine this means closest relatives?”

“Thank God your mother causes such a good impression.”

“What about your family?”

“I'm trying for them to not find out Uncle Chris has a small, but still existent, record,” Ashlyn reminded her. “I'm hoping we can sell them the idea of 'look how awesome these grandparents are gonna be' and keep my parents from mentioning our rocky past during every single visit.”

“You have a point. Oh, references must be completed... three about people no family who have known us for at least three years, two neighbours or community members, bosses...”

“Pain in the ass, but we'll do fine. People love us, mostly you.”

“You lil puppet...” Ali shook her head, chuckling, and kissed her gently before turning her attention back to her phone. “Copies of marriage certificates, perfect, driver's license, auto insurance, citizenship, vaccinations for pets, social security papers... ugh, I'm going to hate the paperwork.”

“Keep your eyes on the goal. Look, satisfactory health inspection, we can rock that, our house is spotless and nice as hell. And we have medical insurances with Orlando Health, so that has to look great, right?”

“Oh, and we're going to need child seats for our cars...”

“No problem. And we've got all these communication requirements, phones, computers... that's good. Oh, look! We can get a licensed in-home daycare! That'd come very in handy.”

“Wait water quality will be tested? They sure take this seriously.”

“My parents would've failed a large portion of these requirements,” Ashlyn snorted. “Shit, we need a barrier on our pool, look...”

“Keep calm and keep reading, the house's own walls count, love. Oh you're going to love this, we have to conduct fire drills!”

“YES!” Ashlyn grinned thinking of the fun of it. “Wait until I tell them my uncle was a fireman! For the little things I can brag about...”

“Okay, and read here. You will be assigned a licensing specialist as your case manager, during the first two years we each must complete twelve hours of training a year, daycare must be licensed by the Department of Children and Families, we need to find a paediatrician, and physical punishments are forbidden.”

“As if I'd ever spank my foster kid, they've gone through enough.”

“Right. Training in the use of alternative, appropriate methods of discipline will be provided. Other trainings provided are thirty hours of additional training if you are interesting in becoming a medical foster parent, another thirty for therapeutic foster parent, four hours annually required of Non-Abusive Psychological and Physical Intervention, Psychotropic medication training, water safety training, first aid training, car seat training, and CPR training, many of these are optional.”

“I say we do them all and become the superwomen of parenthood,” Ashlyn said excitedly. “I was always good at school anyway, and I sure do have tons of free time now.”

“I agree,” Ali grinned. “We're never prepared enough, after all. So let's do this, baby.”

They locked eyes with huge grins. Ashlyn seemed younger now, as if the stress and anxiety of the past few weeks had vanished with the prospects of fostering a child.

“I'm so happy we're doing this,” Ashlyn kissed her tenderly. “I love you so much.”

“Me too,” Ali chuckled. “I love myself tremendously.”

“Bastard,” Ashlyn laughed. “So... you do know depending on the child we foster, we may be forced to put efforts into restoring their relationship with their biological family, right? That we may have to say goodbye more often than not?”

Ali sighed and nodded.

“It'll be sad but... I'm sure seeing their happiness when they reunite with their families will be worth the pain. And maybe we can be aunties of the kids that eventually leave our home. Besides, knowing at some point we'll go on and adopt a foster kid will keep me going.”

“And you know most these kids... they come from very hard environments that make my childhood look like a walk in the park,” Ashlyn warned her. “We need to be prepared for kids with very big issues.”

“That's okay, we'll have training and besides... we've got big hearts,” Ali shrugged. “We'll pull through. Keeping eyes on the goal, right?”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn nodded in agreement. “That leaves us with only one question. What age will we foster? I think we get a choice.”

Ali bit her lip in thought for a moment and then answered.

“What about... from newborn to... ten? First off, I feel bad if we start in toddlers because so many babies really need help and they're the most vulnerable of foster care and besides, we've got plenty of babysitting experience, we're not afraid of a baby, and it may be easier since... they won't remember trauma so much and they can't really run around and jump in the lake without supervision.”

“That's well-reasoned, yes.”

“And teenagers may be a bit too much for us, with the little experience we have, if they're full of problems and traumas. I want to help them but maybe... maybe after a year or two doing this? Maybe we can start off with the youngsters and go up?”

“And what about newborn to eight? We've got more experience with smaller children and we could just admit older as we get more experienced.”

“Okay,” Ali agreed. “That sounds good. So... what do we do now?”

“We wait,” Ashlyn squeezed her hand. “And when I'm out of here we'll go together and ask for the paperwork to start this madness. It'll be great.”

“I'm sure it will be,” Ali grinned, and hugged her carefully. “I'm so glad we're doing this. And the whole process is practically free, you know? Only expenses of buying stuff for the kid.”

“Nice perks,” Ashlyn kissed the top of her head, enjoying her closeness. “Although nothing is ever going to beat seeing the kids sleep calm knowing that for once, they'll have a warm dinner and breakfast, a good bed, a safe place to call home, and two mothers to love them and keep them safe no matter what, plus Logan.”

“Yeah... that's going to be the best feeling in the world for sure.”

In the afternoon, Ali had to leave Ashlyn for a bit because her therapist came to visit and it'd be good for them to talk privately, as the goalkeeper was still in need of some help. But as the therapy left after the session, some of Ashlyn's football friends were coming in. Ashlyn was making big efforts to try and restore those friendships to what they had once been, before Kim came around and made sure to test her trust on her teammates and their loyalty to her, with doubtful results. Some of her closest friends in the USWNT, Megan Rapinoe, Sydney Leroux, Tobin Heath, Christen Press, Kelley O'Hara, Alyssa Naeher, Allie Long and Alex Morgan came in, accompanied by former USWNT captain Abby Wambach, who lived in a town near Orlando with her wife, writer Glennon Doyle, who was also accompanying her.

“Hey you, who was that?” Abby asked with curiosity, leaning to carefully hug her. “Where's Ali?”

“My therapist. Ali went to give us privacy,” Ashlyn shrugged. “Probably attending Logan now. I thought most of you would be out of Florida by now, back home with your clubs and all.”

“We came by for a couple days,” Tobin explained, sitting at the feet of her bed. “Wanted to see with our own eyes how you were doing.”

“And we came to kick Orlando's ass,” Megan added, standing nearby. “We're about to reign over the pride! Got it?” She joked with a chuckle. Ashlyn shook her head but side-smiled.

“You're terrible. Well Ali will be back next week so take advantage now that you maybe can get the miracle of defeating the Pride,” Ashlyn said. “Although I'd still pray if I were you.”

“Whatup?” Ali entered the room with a grin and the room filled with enthusiastic greetings and hugs. “How did it go, babe?” she added, pecking Ashlyn's lips.

“It was okay. Pinoe here lives under the illusion that she could beat the Pride, can you believe?”

“Oh, she's fierce... and very optimistic,” Ali grinned at her friend. “So how's it going guys? Did we miss anything interesting?”

“Not particularly,” replied Sydney, “how about you, any news about the lawsuits and stuff?”

“I dropped the charges,” Ashlyn said.

“What? After the bitch tried to kill you?” Alex Morgan snarled.

“No, not _those_ charges,” Ashlyn hurried to correct. “I had pressed charges for defamation, which I dropped because I found one, I'm less and less in the mood for trials by the day, and two, she's already going down for attempted murder, conspiracy to kill, and I don't know how many more things, so there was no need. There'll be a restraining order and she'll go to prison. Erica da Porta, on the other hand, claimed she had been threatened and blackmailed by Kim, who's supposedly her actual ex, and offered to pay me a generous economical compensation for all the damage she caused, apart from publicly apologizing, so that's okay. Not forgiven, but I can move on.”

“Seems like the bitch's getting what she deserved,” said Pinoe with satisfaction. “And how are you doing?” the goalkeeper shrugged.

“I'm alive, the wounds are healing up and the infection's vanishing, not to mention I've got a really good therapist,” Ashlyn replied. “So I know I'll be fine. That said... I'm out of the National Team.”

“Wait, what?” Alyssa frowned. “You're leaving? But you can't! We need you!”

“We are _both_ leaving, as a matter of fact,” added Ali, sitting next to her wife and smiling down at her. “We spoke with Jill this morning, as she came to check on Ash, and we were brainstorming that maybe since partners come to retirement ceremonies, I could play a couple games late in September and when Ash comes to mine, she could be honoured as well, two in one. I'm good at sharing.”

“Someone watched the right episodes of Sesame Street,” Ashlyn joked, looking proudly at her wife.

“Wait, but why?” Kelley asked. “You're both so young, and I know you're a bit of warming benches but come on, a year or two more?”

“We can't,” said Ali calmly. “We just—,”

“Wait, is this because you guys are still mad at us?” Sydney asked with a frown of concern. “Because of the whole Tokyo thing?”

“No, it has nothing to do with you, the team or even football in general,” Ali hurried to say. “Should we...?” she asked Ashlyn, who grinned and nodded. “We have decided we should be home more often, not just so Ashlyn's recovery runs smoothly with me being home more to help out, but also... because we are going to start the process to have children this year.” She added with a huge smile.

The room erupted in congratulatory cheering and praise.

“So you're going to be pregnant?” Alyssa asked Ali excitedly. Ali pursed her lips and shook her head.

“No.”

“We're going to adopt!” Ashlyn announced cheerfully. “Well, first we're going to become foster mothers, but then we'll adopt a few of our foster kids one day, when the timing feels right and we feel the right connections.”

“Guys, that's awesome!” Glennon congratulated them. “I'm so happy for you!”

“We all are!” Abby added gleefully.

“Although a little confused, I thought you wanted to get pregnant so badly!” Sydney commented, looking at Ali.

“Change of plans,” Ali shrugged and kissed Ashlyn's cheeks. “We think this way is better. It's cheaper, the process to get there is easier, my age won't influence on child development in the way it would with a pregnancy, our bodies will get to rest and recover, and the best part of it all... it's the option that actually makes us feel the best things. Just thinking of offering a neglected, innocent child a family, even if it's temporary... I can't put into words the satisfaction it brings me.”

“It's going to be so great,” Ashlyn added. It was the one thought that kept her from feeling miserable with her situation most of the time. She kept thinking that she was going to get herself back on her feet and make life better for a bunch of neglected, poor children. “I just can't even wait. I'm dying to meet our first foster kid and give him or her gifts, take them to the Theme Parks, watch Harry Potter and teach them to play fetch with Logan...”

Ali grinned at the thought. She, too, couldn't wait to see those things happen. She couldn't even imagine how life would be with a little extra person in their home, but was dying for it.

“Besides, having in count Ashlyn's own rocky childhood and the things she told me about the kids in Liberia...” Ali commented. “I think it's really important for people to care a little less about putting their own DNA into the world, and care more about simply making the children that already live in it happy and with lives they can actually enjoy. It's not their fault someone decided to have them only to give them a shitty life.”

“You do realize you'll have to be some sort of social worker and help those families get their shit together and reunite, right?” Sydney commented giving her a knowing look, afraid she was going to suffer too much from the separation process.

“Of course, but there'll be satisfaction there too, when we meet other parents and see they really love their kids and just got unlucky with life... getting to help them would be amazing,” Ali replied.

“Even when separating from the kid hurts, but who knows, after reuniting a whole family I guess they'll be grateful enough to maybe let us be aunties,” Ashlyn supposed. “At least write letters or something. I'd like to get updates and keep knowing the kids are doing great.”

“It seems like you guys have things so figured out already,” Alyssa said. “It's so good to hear! And you'll have to bring them around the games sometime, uh? We'd be happy to get some free gear for them to brag in school.”

“Anything for those little ones,” Christen supported with a nod. “They'll gain a bunch of extra aunties!”

“Not to mention two wholesome extra mums,” added Rapinoe grinning at her friends. “Can't think of anyone better to rescue those children.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,  
> I am updating some stories now, I'll slowly update more and more the next few days. I'm very sorry for the delay, I've just been writing stuff, relaxing, reconnecting with my mother as I didn't live in my hometown since last Autumn, and well, with myself.  
> So first things first, thanks everyone for all your comments and support, always. I think I've responded all comments and also I've been talking with some of you in my Tumblr Jantebellum, which has been really nice so if you've never left a comment or chatted with me in Tumblr come say hi, I don't bite :) also I wanted to invite you all to read this post I wrote https://jantebellum.tumblr.com/post/616297711696822272/my-take-on-ao3-and-fanfics it's a bit long but in it I'm talking about my writing process with fanfics, about my beliefs in fanfiction and about Archive of our Own, so you might find it interesting. And I know you're shy and I'm shy but PLEASE hit me up with any sort of conversation. Now that we're all so isolated, I really want to reach out to all of you, make sure you're all doing okay, bring my support and encouragement to you and hey, it's going to be okay, uh? This is just those dramatic ten chapters I always write but remember, the story always ends okay, even when you think there's no way. And if you feel lonely or anything, I'm here.  
> Much love everyone.  
> J.


	9. Let me be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://jantebellum.tumblr.com/post/616566533139873792/thank-you

**Chapter 9: Let me be..**

It took a couple weeks for Ashlyn to leave the hospital, but once she returned home, she found some comfort in the chaos of home life. With Ali splitting between the Orlando Pride and her, she wasn't home that much, which forced Ashlyn to hurry up recovering, starting with gentle strolls with Logan for her organs to start settling properly, and to spend a lot of time with her family and friends, that were constantly popping in and out. In the meantime, she took care of the first chunks of paperwork in order to become foster parents.

They begun with having two hours of parenting training from Monday to Friday, going alongside Debbie, who was the only family member on holiday and available. Of course, having raised two kids, Debbie knew most of the stuff, but she still helped Ashlyn and Ali, and provided them with a perfect babysitter for whenever they had to work. Aside from that, since Ashlyn had the most free time, she started learning how to baby-proof their house. She bought secure boxes where to lock tools, made sure to have the swimming products and any other dangerous products in one same locked storage room adjacent to the garage, and one hour a week, when Ali was available, they'd both go to water safety training. Slowly but steadily they prepared to welcome a new person at home.

The heat of August made Ashlyn wish she could get into her pool more than ever before, but with her wounds so recent, she could only sit with the legs in the water and watch filled with jealousy as Logan and Ali played on the water. Logan was still a little wary of swimming, but she enjoyed standing in the low-depth area and barking her ass off as she tried to get the balls Ali threw her. A couple weeks later, Ashlyn was putting on her best suit for their first meeting with their assigned Licensing Specialist, who would start by examining their paperwork.

“Good morning,” a black bespectacled woman received them with a smile as they entered her office early morning, both dressed-up. “My name is Sharon Blanche, and I'll be guiding you through the process of foster parenting and even adoption if you wished, also becoming your assigned Licensing Specialist once you are licensed foster mothers. You can call me Sharon. It's... Alexandra Krieger-Harris and Ashlyn Krieger-Harris, right?”

“Right,” Ashlyn nodded, sitting where offered. “Although most people call us Ali and Ash, if you prefer.”

“All right,” Sharon nodded. “So tell me about yourselves. How long have you been together?”

“Actually, later in the year we mark our first decade together,” Ali said proudly, intertwining her fingers with Ashlyn's on her lap and exchanging a smile with her. “Although we've only been married since New Year's Eve.”

“It wasn't like we had any issues to delay things, it's just... work took over and life got complicated, but now we're stepping back from that a little and focusing on being the best foster family those kids could have ever dreamed of,” added Ashlyn with confidence.

“That's good to hear,” Sharon smiled. “Tell me about your jobs? Your faces look familiar.”

“Oh, you must've seen us around town,” Ali said. “We're a bit... famous. We're football players, teammates at Orlando Pride. Ash is the goalkeeper, while I'm a defender. That's how we met, playing together for the Women's National Soccer Team ten years ago.”

“Oh, really?” Sharon looked highly surprised. “It's not every day famous people come by. You'll have to forgive me, I'm not too much into football and I only just moved to Orlando myself last year.”

“You're in the best city, really,” Ashlyn said smugly.

“Ash is Floridian, from the East Coast,” Ali clarified. “She tends to think nothing beats Florida in the world.” She added with a chuckle.

“Well the place sure is nice and warm. Where are you from, Ali?”

“Dumfries, Virginia,” Ali replied. All their information was in the papers, but they knew Sharon was supposed to meet them face to face before reading them, in order to get a better impression, so they weren't surprised by the questioning.

“And came here just for love?” Sharon raised her eyebrows, astonished, and Ali chuckled.

“You could say so. When we met, I lived all the way in Frankfurt—,”

“She learned German in the blink of an eye, she's so skilled,” Ashlyn sold her proudly, and Ali giggled.

“Yes, and I lived there for five years, for work,” said Ali. “I was playing for a team there. So it was long-distance with us, and we missed each other all the time, while she was working in Buffalo. Then, we got the chance to play in Washington, and my hometown is actually super close to DC, so we decided to go there and we lived in the area, with other teammates, we decided not to share a place yet because, you know, no one wants to ruin a relationship by moving forward too soon. Ash had sorta followed me to DC, and then we decided together to go to Sweden for a few months, so Ash could have the European football experience, which is important for our job. By the time we returned to Washington, we had been together four years and there was still no team here, but Ashlyn was dying to play here, so when a couple years later the Pride came up... she rushed here, and I knew it was only fair I followed her, eventually, after we spent a while missing each other and I was eventually let go from my team due to... well, we suspect it had something to do with homophobia, but we were hiding our thing, so who knows.”

“Orlando's been sweet to us,” Ashlyn explained. “We got super serious with our relationship here, I proposed to her on the beach just a few miles from here almost two years ago...” she smiled. “We even got a dog, and we knew that Orlando would be our home. Now, we're about to leave the National Team, just in a matter of weeks, and... we really want to have a family. Ali is not fertile, and I have some knee problems that could make pregnancy extra hard... but we realized there are so many kids already alive, kids who want a real family as much as we do if not more, so we figured fostering was a great option, thinking of adopting from there.”

“I see,” Sharon nodded, listening in concentration. “So your goal is to adopt?”

“Yes,” Ali grinned. “We want a big family, but we thought starting with fostering would be a great learning experience and when you want to be the best mother you can be, it's all welcomed, right?”

“That's the right way to see it,” Sharon smiled. “And you mention you have a dog?”

“Logan, but she's a sweetie, she's great around kids,” Ashlyn assured. “Mastiff Cane Corso, she's basically a domesticated pony.”

“She _is_ pretty big, but also the chillest, most laid back dog in the world. She literally only sleeps,” Ali assured her. “We've had her since she was just days old, and she's been in dog school all through her two years of life.”

“She's so disciplined she could eat with fork and knife at this point,” Ashlyn joked.

“And you say she's used to kids? Do you babysit, I imagine?”

“Yes, frequently,” Ashlyn nodded. “Many of our friends in the team had children over the years, so we've always gotten used to helping around when we all lived together in hotels during international camps for weeks and weeks... sometimes even months in a row. Then, right now our friends Syd and Dom have two kids, and we babysit every time they want, we love them, changing nappies, whatever it takes.”

“We're the godmothers of their year-old daughter, actually,” added Ali, bragging a little. “And we both have nephews and nieces... from our cousins, and we're very close.”

“Yes, we take them to the beach, Theme Parks... so Logan has hung around kids a lot, and we've never had a problem. She's the chillest member of the family, she won't bite a fly, and she lets kids bugger her eternally, while secretly loving the rough affection.”

“It'll be nice to meet her during the home visit then,” said Sharon, folding her hands on top of the smooth wooden desk while looking at them with kind dark eyes. “So tell me about your families. Do you have family support here?”

“We're very close with our families, a really tight knit,” explained Ali, nervously crossing one leg over the other underneath her skirt. “My parents are divorced, but my Mum and her husband live in Miami, so they're always close. Mum is actually a P.E teacher, she loves kids and she's so good to us, visits every time she can. And my Dad and his wife are in Dumfries, but we're close as well and we see each other as frequently as possible, he's a kids' football coach, so a big goof-ball around kids, and a very supportive Dad. Then there's my big brother, Kyle, who is in the film industry actually... and youtuber, TED talker, role model, awesome brother...”

“We get it, you love your brother, we all do,” Ashlyn chuckled at her.

“Well yes. He lives in California, but he literally follows me around the world. When I have big tournaments outside the country he goes, and when we're in Orlando, he tries to visit frequently and in the meantime we call each other every single day.”

“They're like Siamese, you cannot separate them,” Ashlyn explained to Sharon, who laughed.

“That's always nice! And what about your family, Ashlyn?”

“Well mine is... a little different. I'm a big family person and always want to be close, so actually, since my home-town is not even two hours from Orlando, I try to see them at least a few times a month. I've got a set of grandparents I'm incredibly close with, like... to the point of it being a little odd, probably.”

“Nana Eunice sometimes buys my wife underwear,” Ali informed with a laugh.

“Really?” Sharon chuckled.

“It's just because I lived with her for a little bit once,” Ashlyn explained. “My late grandfather was an Air Force pilot, on the maternal side, maybe you should write that down,” she joked, making Sharon giggle. “And uh... there's my parents, also divorced, they both live in different areas in Brevard County, and they're good people, Mum works in real state and Dad is an I.T. My brother Chris works in Call One Inc., doing Internet and phone service stuff... we're close. He's the reason I first got into football, and he's my biggest fan, truth be told,” she half-smiled. “First person who cannot wait for a nephew or niece for sure. And then I have a ton of cousins I'm very close to, who all live nearby and so I hang out with their kids a lot, we both do. We're their aunties, and we're close, I'd say.”

“Very close,” Ali nodded. “They're lovely kids, all of them.”

“I see here that your preferences for fostering are girls or boys younger than eight, right?” Sharon said looking down at the papers for a moment. “For any reason in particular?”

“We feel more comfortable with that age span,” Ashlyn replied. “We want to get more liberal as we become more experience, but right now... no woman gives birth to a teen all of a sudden, right? We think with younger kids we could learn more progressively and deal with things we are more used to, because most kids in our lives are about that age, and as they grow up they'll teach us to take care of bigger people.”

Ali nodded in agreement. This was easy, even she had to admit that they sounded like the most ideal foster family in the world. It would be ridiculous not to license them, they knew what they were doing, it was clear they were good people, and Sharon seemed to be enjoying chatting with her. She gave Ashlyn's hand an encouraging squeeze and curved her lips into a polite smile.

“That's all good,” Sharon nodded, checking the papers on her desk about them a little further. “All right so, you said you're football players, I see here you're thirty-six and almost thirty-five, you're mentioning you're stepping away from the National Team... I want to know what's your career plan. Obviously it's not going to be football forever but you have to keep providing for these kids until they return to their families, turn 18, any of you choose to end the fostering or they go to someone else, so I imagine you'll always need to work. And also, since both of you work, I suppose you've looked for nannies by now?”

“Right,” Ali nodded. “Well, first of all, Ashlyn recently had major surgery because she was assaulted,” she explained, and Sharon's eyes widened in surprise, “so she cannot play for a while, and football season goes from March to September, which means we do get holiday periods and so right now, Ashlyn can be home for the kids and I'll join in soon, in just a bit over a month. It's even sooner when we don't make it to the league's semifinals, sometimes. We've talked about what to do once we're both working, even more during brief but frequent trips to play in other cities, and my Mum is joining us in the mandatory training courses so she can be certified as a back-up caretaker, and we also will get babysitters and have friends who are parents and won't mind taking care of one more every now and then if it's necessary.”

“We are okay, economically, we get pretty decent salaries,” Ashlyn added. “And we've got good savings too, a good house... we can provide any extra care the kids need. And in any case, our football careers are almost over. We're going to use next year to bid farewell to the club, and it'll be our last. We've both got university degrees, I did Communications and Interpersonal Relationships and Ali did Public Relationships and Advertisement, so we could always go to jobs in those things...”

“We've already been... testing the ground for other jobs. I've got a company, the Ali Krieger Football Camps, and do camps here and there as frequently as possible, training camps for children, it's pretty much a day of fun and games, something our foster kids could join in, if they wanted. And I've also done game commentator as a hobby sometimes, and we've done some modelling together.”

“I'm just very into creative stuff, specifically designing,” Ashlyn explained further. “My family was poor when I was little and there was no money to buy me many clothes or shoes, so I learned to renovate them myself, being creative and redesigning, and I got into fashion. I've been working with Umbro to get some stuff co-designed out there, and I've sold tees and stuff... So I imagine I'll be doing that, and modelling, after soccer, it's just what I like.”

“She even redesigns furniture, if she gets pen and paper for three seconds, she'll do you something pretty,” Ali complimented, loving to underline her wife's traits.

“That sounds really cool,” Sharon acknowledged, nodding. “Now, I'm not here to judge, but I have to know if any of you or any adult who's going to be close with the children have any records, any issues with the law, even if it's tiny stuff or unrelated to children. It won't mean you don't get to keep kids, we're not the judges here, but we need to know who we're leaving these innocent souls with, and it's better if you're honest than if we have to find out through our own parallel research. It's great for us to know all the good, but we need to know all the bad too of anyone who's going to be close enough to the foster kids. Mental issues, health issues, legal issues... just to keep it controlled or help you keep things under control as you go through the ups and downs of foster parenthood.”

“Well...” Ali exchanged a nervous glance with Ashlyn. “We don't have any records, the two of us, but uhm... my brother, he doesn't have a record, he never had any stains in his curriculum we could say, but he's a recovered alcoholic. He's been sober for thirteen years, it was just a bad time. He's gay, he suffered sexual abuse, he was very depressed... he struggled. But now he's an entire new person, a good man, a wonderful brother and I'm sure he's going to be a tremendous uncle, and he's determined to staying clean. Besides, he's handled his whole life on his own, he was quick to fly out of the nest and take control of his life, and he's a wonderful hairdresser as well. A good person, really. And if you need to know health issues... okay well, we have our health quite controlled by our teams, we've had the occasional surgery to repair this or that football-related injury, and the worst I've had was a pulmonary embolism as a consequence from a surgery after I broke my leg in my early twenties. I survived and now I have the strictest cardiology check-ups now and then.”

“That sounds terrifying,” Sharon commented. “But it's good things are under control now. I'm sure Mr Krieger will be a great support as you guys begin your family. What about you, Ashlyn, anything you wanna share?”

Ashlyn wished for Earth to just gulp her. She didn't want for her to know about her family, her brother's criminal record, her own recent issues with being threatened, which would inevitably make her fear for the safety of the foster kids... she was sure if she spoke, Sharon would deny them foster parenting. She exchanged a nervous look with Ali, who seemed to smile small and nod, as if she knew the risk, but she also knew they had to tell everything, and they had to be honest. Sharon would run background checks anyway and would figure it all out, and if she caught them by liars, it'd be worse in the end.

  
  



	10. Painful truth

**Chapter 10: Painful truth.**

Ashlyn sighed and nodded, admitting her defeat to herself. She sunk on her seat like a student who was just called to the principal's office and her confidence dissipated altogether as she locked eyes with Sharon, who observed in patient waiting, without pressuring, but with intrigue.

“My family hasn't always been so great,” Ashlyn admitted at last. “As I mentioned, we were incredibly poor, needing food stamps at times and all, because my parents have no degrees and could not aspire to high-positioned jobs, so they only got whatever was available in the moment, for whatever it paid, often not enough to raise two kids. They struggled with mental health to the point of ending up seeking relief in drugs and alcohol and became addicts, which is why I lived with my grandparents for a while. They lost custody of us, temporarily... and then I was a teen, bullied and in consequence a bully, hurting people and struggling myself, and my brother went on and... he did drugs and...” she sighed. “He even robbed a house once, he was arrested for it. But my parents got their shit together and got good jobs, divorced, made a good life for themselves... and my brother has managed to become a better person in the past few years. He did his time in community service and now he works just like anyone else, and he's doing his best to stay in the right side of the law. He's not a bad person, he just... we've all struggled with our mental health, that's all. I did Adderall in my teens, heavily addicted, and had to get myself out of it on my own, but I did, and I'm a better person, so I guess... we're all just trying to be good people. And I know they will be good influences for our children one day, they only mean well. Besides, Ali and I do therapy and we make sure to be hundred percent.”

“Ashlyn has always been very interested on helping others, she introduced To Write Love On Her Arms to me. They're an organization that fights depression, anxiety, addiction and suicide, and Ashlyn gives them her all to help out,” Ali added, deciding to lend a help out. “She will stop and talk with anyone who shows up struggling, complete strangers... and then she'll go and care about her own struggles too, through therapy and, above all, talking. You might've noticed she's a talker,” she smiled softly, “she just... likes to share with people and have feedback, because people help people, that's the philosophy, and no one is alone.”

The goalkeeper smiled softly at her, grateful for the hand.

“That's good, we certainly appreciate that people who have any health issues are caring to look after themselves,” said Sharon, seeming satisfied. “And it seems like you know who your family are to keep an eye out and make sure they stay in a good path. What about that assault you were mentioning before?”

Ashlyn gulped and glanced at Ali, who nodded in encouragement.

“A few months ago, I started receiving threats, and they got worse and became death threats over time. By then we were immersed in the Tokyo Olympics, and the person behind the threats went on and blackmailed a famous model to say I had sexually abused her years before,” Ashlyn explained, deciding that plain honesty was the best approach. “They were all lies, but they got me in trouble because some people believed them. Thankfully, when I explained police the threats I was getting, they realized it was all part of a plot to screw me over, and soon, the model retired what she had said and admitted she couldn't be sure I had ever met her, which I hadn't, and then... in the end of the Olympics, the person behind all of this tried to stab Ali in order to hurt me, and I interceded and took the blade instead. I just left the hospital recently after a couple weeks, but at least all of this was enough for police to catch this person and for the whole plot to be uncovered, and we're safe now.”

Sharon pursed her lips, deep in thought. She knew that was the risk with celebrities, that someone could try and harm them, thus hurting the children they were fostering. Of course, any family was at risk of one day meeting the wrong nutter who endangered their lives, so it wasn't a determining factor.

“I hope that, as people in the public eye, and looking like you will probably still be in the public eye for years, you are exceptionally cautious of your foster children's safety and privacy. Remember that in many cases, their birth families have not lost custody and expect your help to get their children back, you're more like long-term babysitters, and perhaps those families won't be happy seeing you post photographs of their kids all over Instagram, or their children's lives be risked because someone hates you.”

“We know that, Sharon,” Ali hurried to intervene. “We are very private people when it comes to family. We will respect those kids are not really ours and do our best to reconnect them to their parents and keep them safe and out of the public eye.”

“No one outside our family and friends ever needs to know we're fostering children,” Ashlyn agreed. “We will be fierce about their safety, we know they have been through enough... and when we eventually adopt a foster child, we will make sure to take baby steps and not expose them too much, make sure they are comfortable at all times.”

“That is all I want,” said Sharon. “I have to worry about those kids. I should also warn you that at times, parents may get violent. They are scared thinking they will never see their children again, worried they will be in the care of a stranger, anxious about their safety, maybe they lost them because they were unlucky and suffer addiction, poverty, or simply life is always trying to sink them. You have to be prepared, avoid violent encounters, keep the children's well-being first in your interest and keep them away from violent situations. Those children should not perceive you as an obstacle separating them from their families, but as an extension of family, and if any parent came to you despite the state protection, and violently confronted you to recover their child, you should be prepared for confrontation, and to protect the kid at all costs until help can come. Usually we have the birth parents very controlled and the visiting regimens are very strict... but there have been cases in which foster parents got punched.”

“You know what? We are lionesses,” Ali shrugged. “If they want war, we'll give them war, but never let the children perceive bad vibes with their families. We believe in communication, diplomacy, dialogue and listening to the children's wishes. If they miss their parents, we'll do what we can to give them more time together, but if their families try any nasty games... we will protect the kids with all we have.”

“I did face some bullies in my youth, and I'm not afraid of punching someone if they try to harm a child,” Ashlyn said calmly. “But also, you know, as a communications graduate... I understand violence should be avoided at all costs.”

“All right,” Sharon nodded. “That's sort of our policy. In any case, you're going to have bigger training, I see here you're interested in medical and therapeutic foster parenting, so you're in for the most complicated children, are you sure of this? They will have chronic medical conditions or intense mental health issues, that's tough, but specially on first-time parents.” She added, checking the documents on her desk.

“We know, but we also know those kids are the most vulnerable ones,” said Ashlyn with a serious expression. “I know what it is like to be a child and feel neglected, alone, misunderstood, uncared for. My parents had no assistance with their problems, and my brother and I were very often left to handle our issues alone, to be insulted or hit by other kids, get into trouble and be yelled at but never understood or talked-to properly, so... if I can make a difference for any other kid, I want to do it. It doesn't matter how hard they come, I wouldn't give up, I know many of them just need someone to see the best in them, believe in them, and encourage them, they just need someone to listen and love them no matter what, and I'm willing to do that.”

“Everyone deserves a second chance,” Ali added, smiling at her wife. “Besides, it's all a matter of give and take, if they give us a chance to prove we can be great foster parents, or even mums one day, we'll give them all the chances they need to have a loving family and one day be great grown-ups.”

After the long meeting, Ashlyn and Ali returned to the car feeling a little tired, but somewhat encouraged. Sharon had bid them farewell manifesting an opinion that they were exactly what they needed, so they hoped not to disappoint later in time. Ali reached over the console to squeeze Ashlyn's hand as they both sat for a moment, just letting things settle in their heads.

“Fancy a trip to get children's car seats?” Ali asked with a small smile. Ashlyn looked at her and smiled broadly, leaning over the controls and kissing her intensely.

“This whole fostering thing... promises to be quite the scary adventure.”

“Think about it, those kids will be far more scared than us,” Ali reasoned.

“Yes... well, you heard Sharon, having the kids' room ready for the home visits will boost our points, so let's go get those seats and spend our entire payrolls on children stuff.”

The thrill of being able to finally prepare a children's room, ready their house for any foster kid aged zero to eight, makes them buy more than maybe they should. They buy paint to create the perfect child room, they buy a car seat for 0 to 18kg and then a convertible one that says it goes from 9 to 36kg, they fill their large trunk with bags full of nappies for 0 to 3 years old -because if they get an older child using nappies they're going to teach them about the toilet right away- and then children's books, toys, a baby monitor, tales, a crib that supposedly should cover at least the first three years of a child, and make plans to get a twin bed where they can put protective fences and have an older kid. They buy baby products such as shampoo, gel, sheets, and lotions, and some decorations for the room, but not too many in case they get shark-related stuff and then it turns out the kid is afraid of sharks. They envision a future trip with a foster trip to 'get anything you want for your bedroom' will make the kid excited, and is worth waiting for.

During the weekend, they paint. They prepare the bedroom, get excited, put up a crib on one corner of what once was one of their several guest rooms and a twin bed on the other corner, rearranging cabinets and chest of drawers under Logan's attentive eyes until finally, they flopped on their bed, exhausted.

“We're gonna be good at this, aren't we?” Ali asked, tired, as she looked at Ashlyn on their bed. She was so excited about their adventure, although at the same time, she was a little scared. It felt a lot like when they had adopted Logan.

“We will be,” Ashlyn confirmed with a nod, reaching to squeeze her hand. “Just a couple months more of training courses and stuff, and we'll do well.”

“And in a matter of weeks, we'll say goodbye to the National Team. Oh, God... we're actually leaving the national team.”

“I only wish I could've had a last game but... I guess giving us the Olympics was a great way to go,” Ashlyn smiled to herself. She was lucky she never took football for granted and stepped into each game as if it was the last she was ever going to have.

“One hell of a way indeed,” Ali rolled over Ashlyn, carefully supporting on her forearms to avoid hurting her, and kissed her sweetly. “Hey, since soon we'll have kids coming and going and probably not much time for 'us' time... what do you say if we have a quickie?”

“Make it a slowie,” Ashlyn joked. “I want to treasure you for hours and hours and hours...”

During the last days of the summer, they told their families they would start having foster children near the holidays, and they got the family's full support. Everyone was so excited about the idea of them having children, knowing fostering them would be the first step for them to meet the ones that felt like the best fit for their family, for them to adopt.

But as they entered September, they had to put aside children stuff for a moment and focus on what was at hand; finishing their international career. For Ashlyn's comfort due her state of recovery, the game was to be played in Orlando, and it'd be a friendly USWNT versus Brazil, it would be a nice game, with some of their closest friends. Ali would be in the starting XI, and they would be celebrated at once during the pre-game ceremony. Both their families would be coming, as well as a small bunch of their friends, and it would also be Adrianna Franch's first game as a starting goalkeeper, since Alyssa was still recovering from her concussion and not cleared for work, and Ashlyn was nursing her own stabbing injuries.

When the day came, late in September, Ashlyn checked her scarred belly and sighed, putting on one of her favourite USWNT jerseys, tucked into her jeans with the sleeves rolled up. The day before she had customized her current tennis shoes to have the number '11' written on the sides and then put on an AK11 snap-back backwards as the bathroom door opened and Ali came into the bedroom, all ready.

“Uh, you look hot girl,” Ali complimented with a smirk. Ali herself looked incredible, with ripped jeans and a USWNT t-shirt.

“Speaking of hot...” Ashlyn wrapped her arms around her and kissed her intensely. “You were asking for a hot good luck kiss.”

Ali sniggered against her lips and squeezed her butt, pulling her outside the bedroom.

“Let's go before we never leave the house. Did everyone go while I was in the shower?”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn wrapped her arms around her from behind as they walked. “You smell so good and are so huggable...”

“I'm not sure that word exists, love,” Ali grinned, kissing her again and grabbing her backpack. “Oh shit!”

“What?” Ashlyn frowned, seeing her face suddenly filled with anguish.

“You'll never get to wear the Captain's armband! I only just realized I'm wearing it today, right? But what about you?”

The goalkeeper almost laughed right then, but instead she just smiled and cupped her face, pressing her lips against her forehead for a few seconds.

“Love, I captained the under 19 to a world cup victory,” Ashlyn shrugged. “I'm fine with this. You deserve it, and for me the greatest honour has been playing with you, having the memories we've had... I don't care about being captain for a day. I just want to be there, with you, and the only thing that pains me is not being able to play on your last international game.”

“Okay...” Ali sighed, slumping her shoulders. “Well, we always have Orlando. There, you're my captain, and we'll get to bid farewell together when the time comes. I'm just so happy you're here.”

“Me too,” Ashlyn smiled, nudging her gently. “Now let's go get you into that red and blue jersey.”

  
  


  
  



	11. Farewells and hellos

**Chapter 11: Farewells and hellos.**

After saluting her former teammates with tight hugs, and leaving Ali to change into her kit uniform in the locker rooms, Ashlyn strolled in search of their family and friends in one of the private rooms in the tallest part of the field. There, the Kriegers and the Harris reunited in preferential seats, a sea of red, blue, white, elevens and twenty-fours or eighteens. Her little nephew and niece wore Orlando Pride jerseys, and Ashlyn hugged them before getting her parents, parents-in-law, brother and brother-in-law and walking downstairs to the side of the field for the welcome ceremony.

“Oh my, I'm gonna cry,” Kyle said rightfully as they saw Ali with the captain's armband, her warrior high bun that was so signature of her now, and the surname 'Krieger-Harris' on her back. Ashlyn felt a knot in her throat.

They never played with their married name on the field because it could make it confusing for people to understand, since they couldn't even write A. Krieger Harris; they both had the exact same initials, making them easy to confuse them and forcing commentators to spell their full names. So now, Ashlyn's eyes filled with tears seeing their married name there, seeing how somehow she would still be on the field.

As the commentator announced the ceremony and the teams lined-up. Two framed jerseys were brought up, one was Ali's and another was Ashlyn's.

“We now proceed to honour number 11, right back defender Alexandra Krieger-Harris and number 24, goalkeeper Ashlyn Krieger-Harris, as we celebrate the end of their international careers, with Ali's last game today and Ashlyn's having been the Olympic Final, won with a clean-sheet.” The announcer said, and Ashlyn stepped forward, hugging Ali tightly.

“I can't believe you changed your name on that jersey for today,” Ashlyn murmured into her neck.

“Surprise!” Ali grinned tearfully. “I wanted you to be on the field with me somehow.” Ashlyn shook her head, speechless, and grinned.

They embraced their families and posed with their jerseys, receiving flower bouquets as they grinned to the cameras, trying hard not to get overly emotional when the stadium chanted 'Krie-ger-Ha-rris _clap clap, clap clap, clap_ '. Ashlyn gulped the twentieth knot in her throat and took a deep breath, seeing their teammates applaud them with big grins, before kissing the top of Ali's head, keeping a strong arm around her.

“I am so, so proud of you,” Ashlyn told the defender, who beamed at her.

“Don't you make me cry now.” Ali warned her. Ashlyn beamed and shook her head, leaning and kissing her, without caring about the thirty thousand people in the stadium screaming in excitement as they kissed.

The game was very enjoyable, and it was hard-fought. In the end, they had a 3-2 victory, and the stadium roared in applause. Ashlyn walked downstairs to hug the Brazilian players she had befriended over the years, some of which were Orlando Pride teammates, and personally congratulate Ali. They both walked had in hand around the stadium, biding goodbye to the international life and signing autographs, getting fans to promise to come to Pride games. Ashlyn was gifted one more shark toy and Ali joked about it with the fans.

“Yeah, you keep that up and soon I won't fit in our pool,” Ali commented with a laugh, seeing how much Ashlyn was loving her new shark.

“Y'know,” Ashlyn put an arm around her shoulders as they strolled slowly across the field towards the tunnel, “I imagined things differently. I thought we'd long be parents by now, that our kids would have photographs playing with us on the field after games as toddlers... none of those things will happen. Even when we get foster children, we compromised against exposing them like that, at least until they're officially ours when in a few years we've completed some adoptions... and I wasn't going to retire this way, but in a more incredible, superwoman like way... so things are never going to be the way I envisioned them years ago.”

Ali frowned, worried.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No,” Ashlyn half-smiled. “What I mean to say is... with you, I've come to realize that life won't always be the way I envisioned it for years, but as long as you're there, it's still a fantastic adventure. With you... I have no regrets. With you, life is always going to be perfect in ways I never knew life could be, and once we complete our family, it's only going to get better. Just, knowing you're there, I realize I've got nothing to worry or be anxious about, because life could never suck with you there.”

The defender smiled softly, understanding her, and tiptoed to peck her lips.

“I feel similarly.”

“You do?”

“I've got my favourite keeper in the world to keep us together and keep the balls at bay,” Ali chuckled at her. “Being with you has made me a more confident, better person, and I'm not afraid. I know we'll pull through. We always have and always will.”

Once they arrived into the tunnel, they hugged goodbye and Ali went to shower and get changed. Meanwhile, Ashlyn walked calmly to their families and friends and they waited for Ali outside in the parking lot while chatting and catching up a little. Ashlyn took special joy in seeing her brother and brother-in-law together, because both men got along so well. Christopher was Ali's age, so Kyle could talk to him about many series and films they had both lived in their childhood, and Christopher became a little like a younger brother to him, even though he seemed older.

“So what now sis?” Ashlyn was asked by Kyle as he put an arm around her and they walked to the car. He was sporting the biggest smile, so similar to Ali's. “You've got it all!”

“Not all, Kyle. Now, we're going to make you an uncle!”

It was still going to take some time. After Orlando won the NWSL championship for the second consecutive year, Ali was free and able to focus on her home, her family and the fostering process more than she had been doing for months. It was then that she noticed Ashlyn's PTSD, and started to worry she might not be ready for a foster child yet, if she was experiencing such rough symptoms. It all began on a rainy night, the first one Ali went to bed without a need to wake up early in the morning. Ashlyn had been in bed for an hour already, feeling tired after spending most of the day studying for the courses they were finishing in order to get their foster parent licenses, and Ali had stayed up a little longer, doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen a little.

She dragged her feet into her bedroom, shutting the blinds close to try and keep the noise of the rain as at bay as possible, and slid under the covers, squeezing herself despite Logan's attempts to substitute her on the bed. Ashlyn was facing away from her and seemed to be peacefully asleep, so she rubbed her back up and down gently and closed her eyes, pressing her face against her back. It was then that, in the darkness, she noticed Ashlyn was whimpering, so low she could hardly hear it, but she could surely feel her body agitating slightly.

“Ash? You OK?” Ali whispered, propelling herself up on her elbow and leaning over to try and see Ashlyn's face. “Babe?”

“Ali... no...” Ashlyn mumbled in her sleep, frowning and breathing erratically. “No... leave her...” she was barely moving her lips, but Ali could hear.

“Ashlyn, babe,” Ali gently stroke her face and hair, “it's just a dream, nothing more.”

“Mmrpfff...” Ashlyn puffed in her dreams and groaned, rolling over and looking tense, her head rolling from one side to the other.

“It's okay,” Ali moved to give her some room and then wrapped herself around her wife, kissing her cheek and nuzzling against her neck. “We're okay.”

“Al?” Ashlyn seemed to wake-up, confused.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, you're good,” the goalkeeper wrapped her arms around her and rested her cheek against her forehead, yawning big and closing her eyes. “Good...”

Ali snorted a laugh, understanding she was still more asleep than awake, and closed her eyes, giving in to the comfort of the embrace they were having. When she next opened her eyes, the sun was invading their bedroom and Ashlyn was yawning so hard Ali feared she was going to dislocate her jaw, with her blonde-dyed hair sprawled all over the pillow and a hand lazily buried on the defender's dark mane. In those moments, Ali found her absolutely irresistible, and she pecked her chin as her jaw closed.

“Hey you,” Ashlyn smiled down at her sleepily. “Did you sleep well, beautiful?”

“I did,” Ali stretched and then made a ball with herself, wrapping her body around Ashlyn again. “You, on the contrary, sounded troubled.”

“Uhm... I struggled a little. Some shitty dreams, nothing important.”

“Ash,” Ali sat up and glanced at her. “If we are going to have foster children filled with problems here, we need to be even better at communicating than usual, and if there is a problem, we need to tackle it because those kids need us to be at our best. You're having PTSD, aren't you?”

The younger woman pressed her rosy lips together and nodded, her hazel eyes drifting away for a moment before locking with Ali's dark brown orbs.

“I do have therapy, so I should be fine, eventually,” she reassured. “In any case, don't worry too much. I'm prepared for this.”

“I know you are,” Ali caressed her cheek sweetly. “What did you dream?”

“I don't even remember anymore, to be honest. I think something was happening to you and I couldn't quite reach you.”

As much as Ashlyn tried to remember details, it was all foggy in her mind by now. Last she remembered, she was eating a plate full of doughnuts with Logan and a pet tiger, which was weird considering that she never gave Logan any sweets, and she was unsure tigers liked doughnuts. Deciding it was better to move on, she carefully sat up and then she wrapped her arms around Ali, kissing her soundly.

“Does that help?” Ali asked, smiling sweetly at her.

“Let me just make sure...” Ashlyn kissed her again. “Uhm... I think maybe... wait, I should make sure,” she joked, kissing her once more. “I think so, but just to be absolutely sure...” they kissed again, Ali laughing against her lips.

“You're such a goofy ball and our kids are gonna love you.”

“Damn, they better. I'm the doughnut-buyer!”

They laughed, their laughter ending as they started making love, Logan running to get out before things got steamy. A couple hours later, Ali was swimming laps in the pool and Ashlyn walked into the kids room, that was usually closed to make sure Logan wouldn't destroy anything while they weren't looking. She smiled to herself, looking at the job they had done. There were stuffed animals everywhere, of all sizes and colours, there was a rug with stars and planets, and one wall was covered with colourful posters they had printed and Ashlyn had pasted on carton boards and put up on the walls, filled with motivational quotes. There was 'Mistakes mean you're trying', 'You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think', 'If you can dream it, you can accomplish it' and 'Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light'. They imagined that as the kids learned to read, they'd be the first things they'll read and re-read, and keep their mind positive as they went to sleep. Ali had pasted tiny stars around the posters making a sky, and they were white during the day and shinning blue in the dark, so they'd also serve as the night light if they were scared of the dark.

Ashlyn turned the light off to see them lighten-up and illuminate the quotes perfectly well, and smiled to herself, taking a picture with her phone. She was so proud of the room they had created, and suddenly felt inspired. She walked to the studio room and sat at her desk, in front of her closed laptop. Her therapist had recommended she kept a journal to help process memories and events, clear her head and help her cope, and she had been doing it, but so far she felt it wasn't good enough. She always preferred communicating to the outside, to help others and receive their advice and their help too, and open conversations. Then, she had heard a lot about their friends' blogs. Ali had used hers to create a unique connection with her fans, talking from her heart about the matters that mattered the most to her and that she felt weren't being properly covered by the media. Ashlyn, funnily enough for a communications graduate, had never had one. When their USWNT careers ended, Ali posted a heartfelt letter of acknowledgements and gratitude in her blog, Ashlyn shut up, still processing things, but writing about it in her journal. And there were things Ashlyn would like to talk about. Things she'd like to talk with her fans, feedback she wanted to receive...

Making a decision, she opened her laptop and went to the blog she had had a professional make for her over a year before but had never really used much. Usually, she used it to do marketing of her clothes, provide contact and biography information, and basically, work, but never anything too meaningful or personal. She had at least refused to have a professional manage her account in the way Ali's Community Manager did, because she felt it was absurd for a communications graduate to hire another communications graduate, and she liked to keep her content straight from herself. Now, it was time to give her fans some personal crap.

She began writing;

_Hello everyone, Ash here!_

_Yes, some of us don't need someone else to manage our blogs... (wink wink Ali Krieger), although I do have to admit I've been a bit shit at posting stuff here. I apologize for that. Now, however, I'm going to make your wait worthwhile by being painfully honest in the way that maybe you wouldn't expect. All I'm asking in return? Don't grab my elbow. But truth is I believe people help the people, and I am interested in hearing from you... from the few of you who aren't bat-shit-crazy, that is ;) (sorry, but due to recent events, one has to guard her back). I know even if you may see me as the inaccessible celebrity, I'm a person just like you, with similar problems, concerns, feelings, ups and downs. I'm a wife, a sister, a daughter, a dog mum, a cousin, an aunty... and I talk to you now as such, and not as Ashlyn Harris, the goalkeeper. And you can tell me your name and answer me in the comments section below, logging in via Facebook or Twitter. Cool, uh?_

_These past couple years have been... a mountain. Recently it was the two-year anniversary of my proposal to Ali, and we couldn't celebrate much because she was busy winning a NWSL championship (so we're not gonna be mad, and besides, she made muffins, so...) and after I proposed and she said yes (and we cried and all that), things got hectic with a World Cup and, kid you not, wedding planning through it all. Have you ever tried to plan a wedding while spending months travelling? I don't advice it. But we had a magical wedding and then dived right into Olympic chaos. So in the end, this is the very first time we sort of breathe, stop, lay back and see what we've done, in two years. This is the first off-season we actually relax since the proposal, and just enjoy, recover... and we're already looking for the next hectic adventure, because we're THAT nuts._

_As you know, the past few months have been particularly rocky in the Krieger-Harris household, and I've shut up very much because hey, we had to focus on the Olympics and to be honest, looking back I think even I was too overwhelmed to know what to say. I cannot begin to describe how it feels like to have one woman you've never met one day come up and say you've done something unforgivably horrible to her, something you know in your heart you'd never do, and see how a good chunk of the world believes it. I got so much hate, on top of the already existent threats, that for two months I didn't open social media. I waited, hoping it'd past. Hoping people would remember all my good actions at some point, and would see I could never be the monster that woman claimed I was. Meanwhile, I saw my family suffer too. I knew how people suddenly became mean to them, even in our hometown, old friends suddenly vanished, and people judged them with the 'how could you raise such monster?' chant. And my wife suffered, and everyone struggled, worried, got anxious. And so when it came my moment to step into the field and help push a gold medal... I can tell you that I had never felt that anxious, that pained, that sad, or that stressed in all the days of my life. I was only there because FIFA and police thought it was my safest place, it was where they could watch me the most for good behaviour, and there was a reasonable risk of me getting killed, and otherwise my butt would've been sent back to Florida, but one look into my wife's eyes in that stadium and for one moment, I swear I felt a superhuman. She has that ability, Alexandra, to look at you and make you feel like the world is your arena and you're there to crush it._

_Which is why I had to step up. Which is why I took a stabbing wound meant for her. I have no regrets. Despite my pain, I always keep in mind that had anything happened to her, even just a scratch, I would not have stopped until the person responsible suffered in the most cruel of ways. I realized then more than ever that my love for Ali is borderline dangerous, as it is the one thing capable of turning me into the kind of monster people thought I were, because if someone hurts her, I know I will get very blood thirsty. I already bark at the dogs that bark at her on the street. I glare at the drunks that flirt with her when we go out late. I don't need much more to strangle someone for making her feel uncomfortable._

_This takes us to the next part. As I sit here writing, I have to confess I am far from OK. I smile, I laugh, I love with all of me, I go through the day and I pick and fight my battles, but it's far from easy. Having the heavenly family I have helps. Having the wife I have is a salvation. If it wasn't for Ali, I'm pretty sure that, without fear of exaggeration, I would sink. But she has this chill philosophy of life that makes me take things in a very relaxed manner, so that instead of obsessing about a negative thought I just let it flow and keep going. I believe her when she says tomorrow will be better. I believe her when she tells me to keep my head up and find a reason, any, to smile, because then it will end up coming easy._

_There are friends I cannot talk with normally yet. People who a few months ago, even if just for a second, disappointed me beyond repair by not supporting me enough, not showing up when I was in my worst, and some, unfortunately, even doubting, even if just for a second, the kind of person I am. Those people are still trying to make it up to me, and they do crowd in my mind a lot, because it feels guilty to not feel completely friendly or loving towards friends four months ago I would have killed for. I communicated my decision to forgive them all; the Satellite Beach old neighbours, the few former classmates, even USWNT teammates... tons of people I loved so much to have in my little wedding not nine months ago, but that made me feel sunk and alone when the world turned against me for things I never did. But deciding to forgive and move on doesn't mean you achieve it right away. It means there's nothing you want to achieve more, it means it hurts you to not be 100% fine with them, it means you're really trying, yet in all honesty, there are people I see sometimes and feel a bit stung inside still. Like a part of me may never trust them in the same level again. Ali's approach, on the other hand, has been very clear, perhaps more so than mine; if I forgive them, so will she. Not because her anger ends when mine ends, but because she considers we're a team, and who messes with me messes with her, but that if I make a decision to fix things, she will support it and stand by it. I swear my wife is the smartest of us all._

_People try to make-up in all sorts of ways. I had a dozen cards at the hospital, visits, calls, texts... they accumulated into hundreds by the time I was discharged, after two weeks. But somehow a 'sorry' doesn't erase my pain, my wife's pain, our feeling of being completely alone in the team until we realized that speaking out about the threats I was getting was the only way to get them to believe my life was at risk. I had to do that, I had to get beaten-up after a game... for some team members to realize I was telling the truth the whole time. And a big part of Ali and I feels like it shouldn't have had to come to that. And that if it hadn't, things wouldn't have gotten so out of hand. Until I showed the evidence of threats, people didn't start to believe someone was plotting against me. Until I was beaten up, people didn't take the threats seriously enough. Until I was stabbed, people didn't realize how much in danger I had actually been for weeks. Did I expect way more from my friends? Yes. Did I suffer more than I needed to due to that? Yes. Absolutely. But on the other hand, as I first feared I'd lose my job, my reputation, my friends, and all I had built for decades, my wife came to me with the magic words 'I love you, I believe you, I know in my heart you'd never do any of those things, you are my teammate for life, I won't let you deal with this alone'. She latched on to me, she didn't let me sink, she loved me when the world hated me, and she managed to get some sense knocking into friendships, and to bring my family's support to me, so what initially felt as utter loneliness soon became team work. And now as I recover from all of this, as I try my best to move on, eat normally as my body heals, become stronger, crack jokes again, play brutally with my pony again, and find some sort of normalcy, I try to keep in mind that I am blessed, that in pain there's also love, and that if the world burns, my Alexandra will catch me._

_I swear I never expected this post to be about me being a hopeless romantic, but I do want to leave you on a positive reflection I'm thinking of just now. Sometimes the world is going to suck, right? Right! And we don't always have a special someone to pick our pieces up and put us back together. But everything is temporary. The good, the bad, the better... everything. And at the end of the day, all of it will pass no matter if you pay attention to it or not. So when hell is here, focus on all that you're grateful for, all that makes you happy... and when the good comes, latch on to it, love it, enjoy it, experience it to the fullest..._

_Don't waste your energy. Surround yourself with good people. Forgive. Keep going. It gets better. It will do, for me, too._

Feeling satisfied, Ashlyn hit 'publish' and smiled to herself, leaning back. Then, she caught Ali staring at her with a soft smile, drying her hair with a towel, looking gorgeous as always.

“Sorry, but you had the cutest smile,” Ali commented shyly, “you were doing something important, were you?” Ashlyn side smiled and stood up, walking slowly to her.

“I think I was taking pain and transforming it into something useful. Finding a purpose.”

“Good,” the defender let her wrap her arms around her waist. “I like that face you make when you're in superhero mode.”

“Superhero mode?” Ashlyn inquired with amusement.

“Yeah, you know... when you're about to change the world,” Ali smiled and kissed her. Ashlyn decided she'd need more kisses to understand better.

  
  



	12. I was looking for your face in the crowd

**Chapter 12: I was looking for your face in the crowd.**

_Hi! It's Ash!_

_Lately it's hard to feel depressed, you guys. It's hard to even feel anxious. And not just because I have the most gorgeous wife in the history of the world, someone so breathtaking that makes me feel Asthmatic every morning (because I'm THAT smooth), but also because Ali and I have just begun the process to make our biggest, most ambitious dreams come true, and the excitement is UNREAL._

_No, we're not getting a French bulldog (although we should)._

_We've devoted our lives to football. Every fibre of us went into it, and it was great because, you know, without football there would be no Krashlyn, so we're not resentful. But truth is, it also meant not doing many other things. Like, for example, I've made a bucket list of things I will do when I retire, and skateboarding is at the top of it. Now I can't do it so much because Marc may just murder me if I appear injured because I fell skating. But as we step out of the National Team, we have been entertaining ourselves with other, more inoffensive matters._

_Leaving the USWNT has been... well, painful, to say the least. Ali made a huge heartfelt post about it, and I stand by every word, truth be told. I'm more thankful than I could express. The USWNT was our perfect matchmaker, some of my best memories were lived with that family... I met the love of my life, some of my best friends in the world, I experienced joy and heartache... it's been the sweetest rollercoaster. I already miss my friends there, and I will come to miss the Big Brother style of living all side-by-side in hotels during months. I am grateful to far too many people for that journey. Grateful for all the people I've met along the way, all my teammates, my coaches, the fans, the players all around the world... I'm thankful to my family and my friends that kept me going and pushed me to keep going and fighting for my spot. And now, I know the USWNT will be in the best goalkeeping hands with Alyssa Naeher, Adrianna Franch, and whoever else joins... and that together, they'll be invincible. I've been the lucky one to have gotten to work alongside such awesome women... and learn as much as they taught me. I will be watching from the stands for sure._

_But now, Ali and I have started a new journey and although we cannot share much about it for now (it's going to be a very slow process, believe me, but bear with us), we want to share with you a glimpse of what's coming. May I introduce you to one of my favourite parts of our future children's brand new bedroom!_

With the tip of the tongue between her teeth, Ashlyn added the photograph she had taken weeks ago of the quote posters in the children's room, with the stars shinning in the dark.

_One day, hopefully very soon, Ali and I are going to be phenomenal mothers, and I can't wait for it. We will be welcoming children from the system, and we will keep our arms wide open, our hearts full of love ready to be given, our home full of laughter and our shoulders ready to support each and every one of the future Krieger-Harris clan. Because the adoption process is long and exhausting, we won't be able to share that much about our kids from the very start (have in count that before being ours, they are someone else's children, until a judge says otherwise, and we have to respect that, you included), but I can guarantee we are the most excited we have been in a while, and funnily enough, the prospective of helping a neglected kid start over and shower them with the love they deserve is being enough to make us feel more and more healed, more and more filled with illusion, and happier and happier._

_P.D.: My wife is letting me buy all the mini shark outfits I can find. I AM SO BLESSED._

“Ashlyn, are you ready?!” Ali shouted from the entry.

“Coming!” Ashlyn published her post, and like an excited kid ran to her wife, who grinned at her.

“Ready to pick-up our official foster parent licenses?”

“Born ready,” Ashlyn beamed, kissing her. “Let's go, cute ass.”

Waiting for a call that offered them a chance to foster a kid was the worst. They waited for a few weeks, Ashlyn's birthday came and wait, and by Halloween they accepted the call may take longer to arrive and went out to party. They got home very late, and were snuggled in bed with Logan, with the sky having broken into the worst rain over their house, when, nearing four in the morning, Ashlyn's mobile rang on the bedside table. Her eyes immediately shot open and, trying not to yawn, she stretched to attend the call, turning the lamp on and shaking Ali with a hand once she saw it was Sharon calling.

“Ashlyn?” Sharon asked.

“Yes, what's up?” Ashlyn replied, as Ali blinked herself awake and sat up, looking at her. Ashlyn put her phone on speaker.

“I was just called a couple hours ago, for an emergency call... normally I'd call experienced foster parents, but we need someone who has done the therapeutic foster parent course and we barely have of those and they're full hands and unavailable, but this is an emergency.”

“We're here and ready, Sharon,” Ali said urgently. “Tell us!”

“All right, I've just picked-up this boy, he's eighteen months old, his name is Bruno. His mother died during birth and his very young father was only twenty when the kid was born, ran out of home four years previously so he didn't have his parent's support, same with the baby mother, had to raise him alone. They were living in a lone flat in Orlando and the father was working in the storage department of a shopping centre, you know, storing boxes, leaving the kid in a nursery. We've had to intervene before a year ago when a neighbour phoned saying the kid wouldn't stop crying and worried the father was doing something wrong, but they supposedly had things under control now... anyway, a neighbour called again, different flat this time. The baby had been crying for many hours, and the nursery called yesterday morning as well, saying they haven't seen Bruno in a week, so we went to check on them tonight after they haven't answered to the phone all day. Bruno's Dad has been arrested. We found Bruno was malnourished, with dirty nappies and a bruised cheek, and the father had him locked in the basement without no more than a baby bottle for the whole day, apparently it was a punishment for misbehaving.”

“Oh, God,” Ashlyn felt her heart in her throat. Sharon sounded defeated too.

“It's a complicated case, so we need an emergency housing for him tonight. I am not leaving him to sleep in an office or orphanage in the state he's in. I've taken them to the doctor to make sure his face is OK and he could get some food and clean nappies, but now he needs to sleep. Poor thing keeps whimpering, he's terrified.”

“Bring him over,” Ali said right away. “We're awake, his room is ready for him, we have nappies and some food as well, we bought everything you advised.”

“Great, see you in a bit!”

She hung up and the women exchanged determined, but worried expressions.

“God helps me because if I catch that son of a bitch who hurt Bruno, I'll be next in prison,” Ashlyn grumbled.

“Focus on your tender side. Let's give that boy the love he deserves.”

They hurried to the kitchen to work on some dinner for Bruno, like a good warm soup with veggies to get him all his nutrients and vitamins right back. Sharon and Bruno arrived at the door ten minutes later, as Ali poured some soup into a tiny bowl for the little boy. When the doorbell rang, Ashlyn ran to the door, and hurried them inside because of the rain. The younger women stood with serious expressions, with their housecoats over their pyjamas, and looked at the tall Sharon, who wore a raincoat and was just putting her umbrella in the umbrella stand by the door. She kept a little boy inside her raincoat, and when Ashlyn helped her hang the item on the rack, Bruno was revealed.

He was fussy, too thin and a little too small for his age, with dark brown curly hair pointing all directions, a little long and wild, olive eyes, and a tanned skin colour that reminded them of the people they had met in Spain and Portugal, who weren't tanned like a Mexican, but also not milky-white like a Briton. His eyes were big and swollen from crying, with long eyelashes, his chin a little ball and his cheeks quite full and damp from intense crying, and he looked panicked at them.

“Is he okay?” Ashlyn asked, feeling a little stupid. Of course he wasn't okay. His left cheek still looked a little bruised and he was holding onto Sharon for dear life.

“Well he's been cleaned and put into fresh clothes, and I gave him a baby bottle, but he's still quite shaken-up,” Sharon shook her head, caressing Bruno's curly hair. “Poor thing is shaking from the fear.”

“Let's sit down, we have tea, chocolate or coffee if you want, and we made Bruno some soup to warm up,” Ali offered. Sharon nodded with a grateful expression and sat on their lounge area's sofa, cradling the boy in her arms, while Ali brought the soup and Ashlyn prepared hot chocolate for all of them.

“Thank you for opening the door with such short notice,” said Sharon. “There's quite the overbooking in the institutions right now, I was desperate to find him a right place... it's not good for children with traumas to be in those places. Bruno is already quite behind, God knows how his father must've treated him... his vocabulary is exceptionally limited for a boy his age, he has zero toilet training, full teeth he must not have used too much, and he mistrusts everyone, particularly men. He made such a tantrum when he saw the male doctor, but the moment they got a woman, it all changed. I suspected it, seeing what had happened.”

“So the father is in jail?” Ashlyn asked, sitting with Ali on a side near the social services worker and the baby.

“Yes,” Sharon took a sip from her chocolate with one hand and, as Bruno looked up in curiosity, she smiled down at him and offered him the baby bottle Ali had brought, prepared in the way they had learned through training. Bruno seemed too hungry to be picky, because he took the bottle and started drinking it, slowly. “Dude had gone out for Halloween, leaving the child all alone in the basement. Good thing a worried neighbour heard about it. They lived in flats, but Bruno's flat had a basement because it was a ground floor, came with the perk. The father used it to storage boxes and stuff, so this one was between all the crap, completely neglected. We'll have to find him an adoptive family, he cannot go back... but we'll have to see what the judge says tomorrow. I'll come to pick him up before lunch time so we can have a full medical check, he was too altered to be seen much tonight.”

“We can keep him for as long as it's necessary, there's no need to take him straight into adoption,” Ali hurried to say. “Remember _we_ are interested in adopting, we may as well take him.”

Sharon gave her a small smile.

“I know how much you want a child, but it's really whatever the judge says. I will try for you guys to obtain indefinite custody for now... so he can get some stability, if you guys get along. Bruno honey, have some soup,” she put the bottle away and offered him a spoonful of soup. Ashlyn hurried with a bib, that she carefully put on him under Sharon's approving glance. Bruno sniffed the soup and then pocked it with his tongue before deciding it was safe to take a spoonful.

“That was weird,” Ali commented.

“Yes, but he is so severely malnourished I wouldn't be surprised if he's never seen a soup in his life,” Sharon explained. “Look sweetie, there are stars and letters in your soup! So yummy, uh? I think he's only had pre-made industrial foods.”

They observed in silence as Bruno ate very slowly, and once he had finished and they finished their chocolate, he looked around and realized he was in a strange new place, and started panicking again, crying. Ali hurried to his room and grabbed a blanket with sharks and a stuffed lion they had gotten for him, bringing them to him right away.

“Here, Bruno, don't cry...” Ali offered the stuffed lion to him with a small smile. Logan came running and, upon seeing the baby, jumped on the sofa by Sharon and lied down, looking curiously at Bruno under the social worker's approving eyes.

“You brought him toys?” Sharon was heavily surprised. “How did you know you'd get a little one?”

“We didn't. We bought a ton of stuff for different ages...” Ashlyn admitted. “We wanted to be prepared. He can keep everything he likes, wherever he goes.” Bruno was hugging his new lion now and Ali tucked the blanket around him, soothing him.

“Why don't you hold him?” Sharon offered Ali.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. He just needs some gentle loving, that's all.”

Ali tentatively took him and, seeing he didn't complain, scooped him up into her arms, lion and all, caressing his hair and back as she hugged him against her chest. Ashlyn smiled warmly at them, standing up and hugging them.

“Hi Bruno,” said Ashlyn tenderly, caressing his damp cheek on Ali's shoulder. “I'm Ashlyn, and this one is Ali. We're going to take care of you, sweet boy.”

“We should sing him a lullaby,” Ali told Ashlyn. “Help him sleep, right?”

“Oh, sing him that German one, it always works with me!”

“All right... but you sign it with me, you know it by now,” Ali side smiled, looking shyly at the baby.

“ _Guten Abend, gut' Nacht_

_Mit Rosen bedacht_

_Mit Näglein besteckt_

_Schlupf unter die Deck_

_Morgen früh, wenn Gott will_

_Wirst du wieder geweckt_

_Morgen früh, wenn Gott will_

_Wirst du wieder geweckt_

_Guten Abend, gut' Nacht_

_Von Englein bewacht_

_Die zeigen im Traum_

_Dir Christkindleins Baum_

_Schlaf nun selig und süß_

_Schau im Traum 's Paradies_

_Schlaf nun selig und süß_

_Schau im Traum 's Paradies_ ”

Ashlyn's pronunciation was a bit shit, and they were a little off key, but took it easy lowering their voices and it worked like a charm. In a couple minutes, Bruno had passed out, his face half buried in his new lion toy. Sharon smiled at them and stood up.

“Well seeing you've got it managed, I'll be going,” she checked her watch. “Uhm, I'll come after lunch better, yes? You guys will need more rest than this.”

“Thank you,” Ashlyn grinned at her. “We'll take care of him.”

“I don't doubt it. Good job, ladies, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me.”

After the social worker left, Ashlyn locked the door and followed Ali into what now would be Bruno's room.

“We should've asked if he goes in a crib or not...” Ali realized, her arms wrapped around the sleeping boy.

“He's too young for the bed, and this crib is biggie,” Ashlyn shrugged off, looking for a pyjama sack big enough for Bruno and helping Ali put it on.

They set the boy down inside the crib, still hugging his new stuffed animal, and made sure the room was warm enough for him. As he was already wearing a long-sleeved onesie pyjama with feet, courtesy of Sharon, they didn't feel the need to change his clothes and just let him be, leaning over the clean to look at him as he slept peacefully.

“Poor thing,” Ali whispered, caressing his hair, “so young and has already suffered so much.”

“Not anymore, we'll make sure of that,” Ashlyn comforted her rubbing her back affectionately, and motioned for the twin bed with her head. “We should take turns, in case he wakes up?”

Ali eyed the bed thoughtfully.

“I'm sure we can both fit if we squeeze a little. I don't feel comfortable leaving him.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn chuckled, and walked over to the bookshelf in the room, picking-up a useful toy she had insisted on buying, because it reminded her of her favourite toy when she was a toddler. Well, more than a toy, it was a little machine to play lullaby melodies while a light on top filled the ceiling with tiny soft stars and moons that appeared and disappeared in slow blinking motions.

She set it on and joined Ali in bed, holding each other to keep each other from falling as they snuggled together. Logan came to see what was going on, looked at them for a long moment, and left, seemingly deciding the situation was too strange for her to join.


	13. Welcome to the family

**Chapter 13: Welcome to the family.**

When the sun came into their November 1st, an early Sunday, Bruno's olive green eyes opened and he stretched with his stuffed animal. It took a moment to recognize he was in a new, strange place, surrounded by bars, and faint moon and star lights appeared and disappeared on the ceiling above him. He struggled to sit up and looked around. Between the bars, he could see there was someone snuggled in a bed near him, and the sun was peeking through closed curtains and semi-closed blinds. He wondered if maybe his Dada was there, or anyone known, and immediately started wailing.

His cries were quick to awake Ashlyn and Ali, who needed a second to realize they were in Bruno's room and that the boy in a crib near him wasn't part of a dream. The night before had really happened. Ashlyn, who was the closest to the verge of the bed, quickly rolled out, and Ali followed suit, both rubbing their eyes as they walked to Bruno, who sat with his face red from crying already, his cheeks all damp and his eyes full of tears.

“Hi Bruno, remember me?” Ashlyn smiled nevertheless and reached both hands to pull him up and into her arms, patting his back softly. “That's okay buddy, you're safe.”

“Ugh, what's that smell?” Ali frowned, then sniffed near Bruno. “Baby, he's done number two.”

“I've got it, can you make some breakfast? I'm starved.”

Ignoring Bruno's ever-rising cries and even kicks, Ashlyn settled him on the changing table they had put up on a side, and opened the drawers and cabinets below to get a clean nappy, and all the products necessary to clean him up. She tried to soothe him with words as she removed his onesie and he tried to get rid of her by slapping the air and kicking out, his curls pointing every possible direction as his anger escalated. Finally she reached his nappy and held her breath as she took it away. She didn't want to comment on his smell, because she didn't want him to feel self-conscious and disgusting, so she limited herself to clean him up without a comment.

“You're fine, Bruno, please stop kicking...” Ashlyn moved her head just in time to dodge his kick, and grabbed another tissue to finish cleaning him up. Only then did she realize there was a bit of blood, and she saw a little wound in his ass. “Oh, honey, it hurts, doesn't it? I'm sorry...”

She made sure to do things faster and put a clean nappy. As she decided to put on clean clothes as well to make him feel better, she realized there were tiny more bruises all over. Fully scowling now, Ashlyn finished with him and took him up in her arms, bouncing him lightly to try and calm him down, until his hard crying reduced to soft whimpering, so she kissed the top of his head and spoke to him gently, taking him outside.

“The mister really gave you a hard job, uh?” Ali commented sympathetically, looking at her as she fried some eggs for them.

“I think he's hurt,” Ashlyn commented with a serious expression, patting his back. Ali scowled in worry. “His butt has a tiny bleeding wound, which could be nothing I mean, it can happen to any of us, but he's got like a hundred tiny bruises. I guess last night whoever doctor saw him didn't realize, because he really doesn't like being without clothes. He was kicking and slapping and all sorts.”

“Shit...” Ali put the eggs on a plate and moved to caress Bruno's cheek. “He's so upset... are you in pain baby?” she asked sweetly. He pouted and buried his face in the crook of Ashlyn's neck. “We should call Sharon and let her know.”

“Yes, certainly. And he's not speaking a word, which doesn't help, does it? At his age, Jenson was babbling all over,” Ashlyn begun to prepare a baby bottle one-handedly.

“Well Jenson was brought-up in a healthy environment. This kid is probably used to his crying and screaming being completely ignored, to being abandoned and neglected. He probably was never encouraged to speak and doesn't see the point... who knows, maybe he never even had tales, no one sat with him to do the ABCs...”

“Breaks my heart...”

“Yeah...” Ali sighed, finishing their breakfast and patting Logan good morning. “Right now I can only smile because his life is going to get better from now on.”

“Indeed,” Ashlyn checked the milk's temperature with her hand and looked down at the boy in her arms, supporting him with one arm around his waist, keeping him against her body. “Bruno honey, want some?” she offered him the bottle. Reluctantly, he opened his mouth and let her coarse the tip of the bottle inside for him to suck, closing his eyes against her chest as he did so.

“Look at that cutey, who would ever harm something like this?” Ali smiled sadly, cupping one of Bruno's feet.

“A monster,” Ashlyn pressed his lips against his forehead soundly. “But there are no monsters in this house.”

Once Bruno ate, he fell asleep and they had breakfast on the sofa, with Bruno tucked between them. They called Sharon for updates, and she said she'd be there at three, because things were quite busy even though it was a Sunday morning. When Bruno finally woke up, they were half-asleep on the sofa, but fully woke-up as he tried to squirm out of the sofa. Apparently the little thing could crawl, and once they settled him on the floor, he crawled to Logan, who first cried and stepped back, but then walked forward and sniffled Bruno.

Maybe being in hell made the toddler fearless, because he didn't flinch at Logan's size. He sat up and grabbed Logan's face brusquely, and Ali and Ashlyn sat nearby ready to intervene if Logan seemed upset. But instead of growling, Logan tried to get away peacefully, and when she realized the boy wasn't actually hurting her, she licked his face.

“Woah,” Ashlyn snorted a laugh seeing how the tongue had swept Bruno's hair up, and his eyes had widened in surprise. “You OK bud?” she asked the boy, who looked at Logan and, surprisingly, smiled.

“Look at that,” Ali grinned. “These two are besties already.”

“They are...” Ashlyn played with Bruno's curls. The boy looked much more relaxed now, sitting on the rug with his stuffed lion gripped tightly with one arm, and a hand patting Logan's face with little to no delicacy. Logan groaned and pressed her body against the floor, nudging him in the belly with her nose and getting him to pat her head, which seemed less uncomfortable. “I'm going to shower and get dressed, I'll do the morning walk.”

“Perhaps we could all go and take Bruno to the swings?” Ali proposed, sitting in her pyjamas with an arm around Bruno. “He seems cool with us now, and Sharon won't be here for hours yet. I bed no one's ever taken him to the swings.” She turned to peek through their huge windows. “It's not even raining anymore, looks sunny now.”

“Okay, good. We'll try that.”

Once both adults were ready, which was a challenge as they had to keep an eye on Bruno while dressing and getting ready, they dressed Bruno as well. The boy had found his tremendous stack of toys and, overwhelmed by seeing far more things that made loud noises, music and lights than ever before in his life, he seemed to forget the adults existed. They eventually prepared a bag with nappies and stuff for Bruno and got into the car, learning how to secure Bruno in the seat that seemed better fitting for his size and little weight. Ali drove them to the park, with Ashlyn sitting between Logan and Bruno, keeping the boy fascinated by making funny faces and noises to him, which got him smiling and making loud noises of surprise the entire ride, to Ali's amusement.

While Ali showed Bruno the swings, that had already dried off, and started pushing him on them very gently. His eyes widened at first and he wiggled his legs and looked at Ali with worry for a few moments, but then he started to enjoy it and made little laughing noises. Ashlyn took photos of them with her phone while playing fetch with Logan and grinned. This was the kind of life she had envisioned for them.

“You two look adorable, I can't even...!” Ashlyn complimented. “I'm sending Sharon a video, she's gonna love this little laugh.”

They stopped the fun for brunch, finding a café with good food where Logan could also enjoy some garden time, and fed Bruno the first sausage of his entire life. He had all the teeth he was supposed to have, although Ashlyn still cut the sausage super tiny, and Ali pulled a banana from the bag they had prepared for him and spent her lunch cutting banana slices for him as she ate. He seemed to mistrust every food they gave him as if he had never seen it before, but then was quick to try and find he liked everything.

The couple then took Bruno to the sledge and to the lake to feed the fish.

“Look down there, Bruno!” Ashlyn pointed at the water below their feet as they sat on the lake pier with their legs hanging out. There, below, giant fish swam to the bread they had thrown. Bruno's eyes widened.

“Oh!” he said, pointing too and wiggling his legs. Ali grinned, using a hand to make sure he wouldn't fall forward.

“Now you give them bread,” Ashlyn passed a small piece to the boy, that threw it to the water, and more fish came.

“Of course he's a water guy, it's meant to be,” Ali commented, pressing a sound kiss against the top of his head. Logan barked behind them and they turned to see her run after some birds that were clearly faster than her.

“We should head home,” said Ashlyn, checking her watch. “Give this little guy a nap before Sharon comes.”

Bruno was asleep before the car even pulled into their neighbourhood. Ali took him up in her arms, and they sat together to watch TV while Ashlyn put some coffee. When she came back to the lounge area, Bruno was asleep tucked in Ali's embrace with a blanket, and Ali slept with her cheek against his curls, a documentary about tigers being ignored on the telly. Ashlyn smiled to herself, making sure to take a picture and send it to Sharon.

' **I think he fits here, don't think we can return him... ;)** ' she commented on a text. Sharon replied shortly after.

' **Well the father has tried to punch a cop, so things not looking good for him... but it fills my heart to see Bruno's doing so well! Will be there in an hour**.'

By the time Sharon finally arrived, Bruno and Ashlyn were on the floor, with him between her legs holding an ABC book, and they were singing their ABCs. Well, Ashlyn was signing it, and Bruno was humming the melody. Ali was melting at the sight, while Logan napped, and she was the first to rush to the door and open it for their guests.

“Welcome!” Ali grinned at Sharon, who came in, smiling as she saw Bruno and Ashlyn.

“I see you guys have it all handled!” Sharon said happily. Bruno looked up at Sharon with curious eyes.

“Dada,” he said, probably thinking she'd know where his Dad was.

“I'm sorry sweetie, Dada is not coming. But we're having fun here, aren't we?” Sharon sat with them.

“Well, it's the first time I hear him speak,” Ali commented, sitting with them.

“Yeah, he knows that one word then,” Ashlyn added.

“Poor thing... so what have we got here, Bruno? Is that a mammoth?” Sharon asked, pointing at the animal with the letter 'M' on the book.

“Momoz,” Bruno whispered, and reached to turn the page.

“Oh, good word!” Ashlyn grinned at him.

“Well done sweetie,” Ali added, caressing his cheek with the back of her hand. “So, are we taking him to the doctor?” Ali asked Sharon.

“Yes,” Sharon nodded. “Everything it's so hard on Sundays with everyone closing, but I got a judge to certify Bruno should stay here indefinitely at the very least until his father is judged and has a firm sentence or is cleared. He's being investigated not just for hitting a cop, but also for neglecting his child and those things. And the judge got a good doctor to see Bruno today, so that'll be the plan for today. You said he was bleeding and struggling with being changed, has this continued all day?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ali nodded. “He's perfectly content like this, just playing and chilling out, but when he poops, which has happened... twice today I believe? Including the first one we saw, then he gets very fussy and even a little violent.”

“He'll try to kick you and slap you if you try to get him naked, even more so if you take off his nappies,” Ashlyn added. “And he's bruised, and there's still a little bit of blood coming out of his butt.”

“All right, certainly reasons to be worried. Well, let's go and get him properly checked, hopefully with you there he'll make less of a fuss. It seems like you've earned his trust already.”

They stood up and got Bruno settled in his car seat in Ali's car, and Ashlyn slid next to him on a seat, while Sharon returned to her car. Ali drove her Genesis following Sharon's Fiat out in the street. Bruno got a little fussy trying to stretch out of his seat, and Ashlyn smiled down at him, putting an arm loosely over his lap. He tugged at her shirt sleeve and saw the many tattoos underneath, that called her attention. The goalkeeper, seeing this, smiled at him as his little hand traced the patterns and the colours, which seemed to soothe him until he fell asleep, shortly after Ali had gotten in the highway.

  
  



	14. Somehow, he's ours

**Chapter 14: Somehow, he's ours.**

It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since they had met Bruno, and yet they felt their hearts ache as the little boy cried and wailed, stretching his arms towards them with pleading eyes while the doctor tried to conduct a careful and thorough examination. Ashlyn stepped forward and put a hand gently on his chest, to keep him lying on the stretcher, while kissing his cheek. She leaned to put her other hand on the mattress over his head, and kept her face close to Bruno's, rubbing soothing circles on his chest with her hand as she felt his heart beating frantically beneath the skin while he panicked.

“Sh... it's okay Bru, nothing's going to happen to you,” Ashlyn reassured him softly. “It's okay, look at me, it's just the doctor. No one's gonna hurt you in my face, okay? You're fine.”

“What do you say if when we go home, we watch _The Land Before Time_ together, uh?” Ali proposed, standing on the other side of Bruno and holding his hand. “There are dinos there, I bet you've never seen a dino.”

“All right, I think that's all,” the doctor, a woman as it had been specifically requested upon seeing Bruno's reaction to the male officers and male social services the night before, took off her gloves and sighed. “The X-Ray results should be ready, so I'm going to go pick them up while you dress him again, okay?”

“No problem, thank you,” said Sharon, and picked-up Bruno's clothes while Ali closed his nappy.

They dressed him and Ali picked him up in her arms and sat him on her lap as they took seats in the consult. He immediately relaxed in Ali's embrace and Ashlyn used a tissue from her pocket to clean his tear-stained face and help him try to blow his nose. After a few moments, the doctor returned with a serious expression and an envelope with all the results of all the X-Rays and other tests they had spent hours and a bunch of money getting. Sharon hadn't planned to get such a complete check, because the state money wasn't that much, but Ashlyn and Ali had insisted on paying everything from their own pockets, as they had a good insurance with Orlando Health.

“I'm afraid it's not good,” said the doctor sitting across her desk in front of them. “I mean, it's all good, no major internal injuries, no internal bleeding, although he's definitely been hit. There are some internal bruises, but thankfully nothing's broken. What really worries me is that there appears to be some internal damage in his anus suggesting...” she sighed, shaking her head.

“He's been sexually abused,” Ashlyn completed, and the doctor bit her lip and nodded. Ashlyn had suspected it from the moment she saw how much he disliked being touched without clothes, but had buried the thought in the back of her mind and refused to acknowledge it. Now, the news felt like a jar of ice-cold water and she clenched her jaw, closing her eyes for a moment.

“Oh my God,” Ali gasped, her eyes filling with tears as she subconsciously wrapped her arms tighter around Bruno. She turned to look at the other women. Ashlyn had her jaw and fists clenched tight, and Sharon was shaking her head, her eyes glassy.

“It'll heal, it looks like a recent wound, maybe a couple days old or so, no more than a week,” said the doctor. “But it seems like it was an attempt not completely fulfilled, so the damage isn't major. Psychologically, though... that's another story. Explains his fussiness with examinations.”

“Could you get any DNA?” Sharon inquired, furrowing her brow. “To know who did it?”

“No, it's been too long... but I don't think there was any... well, I think it was more done with hands or an object, not with a penis,” the doctor explained, looking sadly at Bruno, who played with Ali's hair while sniffling quietly, burying his face against her chest.

After wrapping the visit up, they stood up and left, Ali holding Bruno in her arms as he started to fall asleep in her embrace. The brunette turned to look at Sharon as they walked down the corridor.

“What do we do now?” Ali asked. “His father did it. We can't let him get his hands on Bruno again!”

“I will inform the authorities to begin an investigation, but you heard the doctor. There is no way to prove the father did it,” said Sharon with a sad voice. “We need to focus on doing what we can for Bruno... but remember neither of us has custody over him, we're just sort of babysitters, and in the end, his future is at the hands of a judge right now. All we can do is make sure his time with you, for as long as it is, is good.”

“And then we have to return him to a bully who neglects him,” Ashlyn growled under her breath, her expression tense. “Let that bastard try to fuck Bruno until he kills him.”

“If that's what a judge says, then yes,” Sharon replied tensely. “Look, I know this is bloody difficult, believe me I do, I have five adopted children myself I know all about the baggage and unfair laws, unfair judges and cruel state actions but... there are things that are out of our hands and we have to fold and do what the law says because if we go to prison for disobeying a judge, or for running away with a kid we try to save... then we won't be able to help so many other children that we _can_ save. The lost cases haunt you and hurt forever, even more when they come in the shape of a little, innocent boy like Bruno... but sometimes we have to let him go. And we may have to let him go back to his family, eventually. The judge will try to find any living grandparents, uncles, sisters, anyone... so even if the father went to prison, Bruno may still have to return to his family. And our duty is to do what the law says it's best for him, which means returning him to his biological family, finding a way to strengthen their bonds... even when it's not what we think it's best for him.”

Ashlyn clenched her jaw further and they said goodbye to Sharon before rushing to the pharmacy to get the pomade Bruno's little butt needed to heal completely. Ali had to park on a double yellow to make it faster to the pharmacy, so she put the lights on to warn she'll be moving away soon and rushed out of the car, while Ashlyn remained next to Bruno, watching as he closed his eyes for a bit but then opened them and looked around nervously before relaxing again with his lion toy. She couldn't help thinking about the cruelty of the world and the unfairness of the situation, getting angry at the system and the bad people who should not be parents. She knew what a shitty childhood felt like, and the idea that she couldn't really rescue Bruno from that... she knew if she lost him to the system, it'd haunt her for the rest of her life.

“Hey, buddy...” Ashlyn was surprised to find her voice hoarse and feel her eyes glassy as she cupped Bruno's face. He looked up and his big olive eyes fixed on her hazel ones. “Look, I know you must feel quite lost, and I wish I could tell you you get to stay with us forever, to call our house your home forever, I wish I could promise you'll be safe... but I can't. I know you can't understand any of this right now, but I just want you to know I'm going to do everything I can for you, okay? And for as long as I'm alive, I will always open my house for you, whenever you need it... because somehow, it'll always be your home. And I will fight for you, with all I have, okay? I'm not giving up. We will find a way to keep you safe and happy, I'll make bloody sure of that... and if you don't end up with us well... somehow you'll always be our kid, okay? And we get to be buddies forever. I'll call you and...” she rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself. “Ali and I will make sure you go with someone who deserves you. Maybe some cool grandma or aunty is waiting out there for you... someone great. But if you ever miss us, we're one phone call away, and we are always going to care about you. More than you know.” She kissed the top of his head. “I'm sorry life sucks, but we're going to make the most of our time together... and hopefully things will get better for you. We sure will fight for that.”

“Hey,” Ali opened her door and sat inside the car, throwing a little plastic bag to the seat next to hers. “Sorry I took so long, there was a long line... but we have the pomade and now we can go grab some ice-cream for one good boy who let the doctor see him uh?” Ali grinned, turning to squeeze Bruno's foot lovingly. “We'll figure out what taste you like and make you forget how sad that visit was.” Ashlyn admired Ali's ability to go from bummed to cheerful for the boy. She had heard Ali take deep breaths several times during the car ride, had seen her on the verge of a breakdown, but now there she was, making sure Bruno was okay. She then looked up at Ashlyn and patted her knee affectionately. “You okay there?”

“Angry as fuck,” Ashlyn sighed, “but I'll be fine. I just somehow never expected our first case would be a sexually abused 1-year-old, I mean, it could be Roux, Bruno's just three months older.”

“I know. It's the worst,” Ali looked briefly at Bruno. “I know we can't save everyone or adopt everyone but... I'd like to adopt him, if we could.”

“Me too,” Ashlyn nodded. “We'd be a cool family. We'd take him to the beach, I bet he's never seen the beach.”

“We'll fight for him. He deserves someone who fights for him, for once.”

“Damn right.” They exchanged a sad smile.

“Fock!” Bruno shouted suddenly, shocking them. He looked up at them with a mischievous smile showing his front teeth as if looking for approval and after a moment of astonishment, Ashlyn let out a loud guffaw and Bruno giggled.

“Oh my God, what have I done?” Ashlyn commented while laughing, and Ali joined them, laughing until they shed tears. As Ali drove back into the highway, Ashlyn leaned between the front seats and whispered to her ear. “D'you think we could teach him all sorts of crap and teach him to only tell those words to his dickhead Dad, in front of a judge?”

“My God,” Ali snorted a laugh and shook her head. “You're going to be the worst influence, I can tell.” Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Ashlyn grin, and couldn't help but to smile too.

Ali refocused on driving and Ashlyn refocused on being silly with Bruno until he was laughing like maniac, before they stopped downtown for some good ice-cream by a lake. They laughed as Bruno had his first taste of chocolate ice-cream and got ice-cream as far as his ears, and then they let him sleep in the car on the way home. Once they arrived home Ali actually had to wake the both of them to go home. Because they weren't completely done napping, Ali offered to take Logan on a walk and meanwhile, Ashlyn fed Bruno and they lied together on the big bed, Bruno with his already favourite little plaid blanket and lion, her arm around him, and both fell asleep. After all, she was recovering from a stabbing, she wasn't sleeping so well, and thus Ali took the driving and the physically extenuating tasks.

When Ali and Logan returned two hours later, Ali felt the house so quiet and walked to their room, finding Ashlyn and Bruno snuggled together. She smiled at the sight, taking a photo with her phone, and stood there contemplating them for a while. She wanted for Bruno to be their son so badly it hurt. For him to go from Bruno James McArthy to Bruno James Krieger-Harris... for that name to mean he had a family who loved him and would stand by him through thick and thin, and not the reminder that he didn't completely belong to them. Or that they didn't really belong to him.

Knowing they'd be out for a while, Ali started cooking dinner. She was cooking a lot more now that usual, because Ashlyn was still recovering and she liked to take care of her injured wife.

“Look at this fearless lil boy,” Ashlyn appeared suddenly a while later, and as Ali looked up, she saw he was up on her shoulders, grabbing Ashlyn's dishevelled hair while she grabbed his feet, and he looked to be completely amazed. Ali snorted a laugh, dinner almost over.

“Look at you little valiant!” Ali grinned, reaching a hand to squeeze his cheek lovingly. “And my adult-child, of course...” she crinkled her nose and kissed Ashlyn.

“Guess what,” Ashlyn said with a small smile. “He let me put on the pomade without more than a deep scowl and a pout! I only received _one_ kick to the chin.”

“Woah we're progressing! High-five champ oh, no, better not, you hold onto that hair properly.”

“What do you say kiddo? Where next?” Bruno pointed to the living area. “Off we go...!” Ali laughed at them, filling their plates. She really couldn't wait to give Ashlyn a family they'd never have to separate.

They had a quick dinner, too tired to spend much time procrastinating, and then decided to try and bath for Bruno. His eyes started widening as Ali removed his clothes, and was fully scowling at her like a mean kitten by the time Ashlyn had filled the plastic mini bathtub for children that she had put inside their normal bathtub for Bruno to be safely in it. When they sat him in the bathtub he went full grumpy mode, but Ashlyn then went to grab a million of bathtub toys and threw them in the water around the boy, whose grumpiness suddenly dissipated.

“Oh you like sharks, don't you? I should've known,” Ali rolled eyes and grinned, sitting on the floor by the tub with a hand inside keeping Bruno safe, while Ashlyn sat on the toilet in front of her.

“Look Bruno, this is D'Angelo!” Ashlyn showed him the biggest shark and he grabbed it excitedly slapping the water with it. “Are we nailing the first bathtub or what?”

“Sh... don't you jinx it!” Ashlyn smiled and took photographs with her phone as Bruno played. “All right little dude, let's wash those curls properly, I bought you a fancy shampoo for curls that I don't think any of us would ever need.” She began to carefully wash Bruno's hair with it and the boy started frowning and whimpering. “Come on sweetie, I'm being careful not to get soap in your eyes...”

“Bruno, look!” Ashlyn started crossing her eyes and making little silly noises, pulling her tongue out and making the worst faces. Bruno started laughing at her, and so did Ali, which actually made him laugh harder. “Oh, D'Angelo's farting, look!” the goalkeeper grabbed the shark and squeezed it, making the water come out of it producing a farting noise. Bruno laughed harder, throwing his head back and slapping the water.

“He's losing it!” Ali commented while laughing openly. Ashlyn's distractions made it possible for her to rub soap on his skin without much complain, and soon the three were laughing, making silly faces and playing with the toys until the water ran cold. Then, Ashlyn took Bruno up with a towel and applied more pomade before putting his clean nappies and dressing him, finding which pyjamas of the millions they had bought were his size.

“Feels good, uh?” Ashlyn smiled down at the boy as she hugged him and he got sleepy, his wet curls pointing every direction as she rubbed his hair with a towel and kissed his cheek. “I think we're going to be besties from now on, Bru.”

“How's my little shark?” Ali came over, hugging them both and kissing Bruno's face. “Mmm... smells so good!” Ashlyn locked eyes with her and grinned. “You know, today sucked big time but... you two made all the difference.”

“We try,” Ashlyn replied, patting Bruno's butt gently. “This feels nice, doesn't it? Like we're actually... a family.”

“Yeah,” Ali grinned. “I don't want to get too affectionate too fast but... I think I actually love him already, isn't it crazy?”

“It is,” the goalkeeper agreed. “But I think I actually love him too. There's something about him... like he's something else, you know?”

“Yeah. And he's got the sweetest eyes.”

“What do you say if we cheat and take him to bed with us?” Ashlyn proposed innocently. “Cuddles, baby kicks and drool?”

“Uhm...” Ali grinned. “I say I've been waiting for that for far too many years!”

Chuckling, they went to their bed and got into their pyjamas, settling Bruno in the middle of the bed. Logan soon found her place at the feet, taking advantage of the space Bruno's size couldn't fill, and then slid under the covers at each side of Bruno, smiling at each other over his head as they interlaced their fingers below his feet. He was already half asleep.

“Goodnight buddy,” Ashlyn kissed his forehead.

“Have the sweetest dreams,” Ali added, kissing his cheek. “I love you both.”

“Me too,” Ashlyn said, snuggling closer to them and patting Logan's head briefly. “Sweet dream to you too, baby girl.” Ali snorted a laugh.

“We have the best family, don't we?”

“We do. Fuck, and we need to hide the Nutella and the peanut butter. Last we need is _two_ kids who have us too whipped to say no.”

“With the eyes they have...” Ali turned the light off and snuggled closer. “I think we should give up already. We're wrapped around their fingers and paws. Nothing we can do anymore.”

“You're right,” Ashlyn closed her eyes. “Who needs so much negativity as a no in life anyway?”

“Right. We'll let them do whatever. And then if anyone complains, we'll kick their butt.”

“Uh, feisty Krieger.”

“Shut up, you love it.”

“Damn right. My Krieger Warrior, my little shark warrior, and my mini dinosaur warrior... life is bloody awesome right now.”

Ali caressed her face over Bruno and slowly fell asleep, feeling she agreed with Ashlyn to the last word. Tomorrow would be another day, but they'd face it together.


	15. Complete with you

**Chapter 15: Complete with you.**

A couple days later, on a chilly November day, Aaron McArthy, Bruno's father, was declared unfit to care for his son, and custody was removed and passed into the state, that was trying to find Bruno's extended family. It proved to be a hard process, because Aaron wasn't collaborating, and he had changed his name upon leaving his family forever. He and Bruno's mother had eloped back in the day and their families had turned their backs on them after they had stolen family money and disappointed everyone by marrying too young against everybody's advice and by dropping out of school. Bruno's parents, Aaron and Anne, had become so frustrated by their families, and so upset with their need to protect them and try to enforce upon them what they thought was best for them, that they had disappeared without a word, changing their names to avoid being connected to them, and started a life far away. It was believed they were originally from Seattle, in the other corner of the States, and now Florida police was working with Seattle's law enforcement to try and locate any possible grandparent, uncle or aunt Bruno may have that could take care of him. When Anne had died, Aaron hadn't even contacted their families for the funeral, so it was believed they didn't even know about her passing away the year before.

In the meantime, the judge decided Bruno should stay with his foster family for as long as it took for them to find in his biological family someone willing to adopt him. It could be weeks or months, but Aaron was already trying to take the custody back. He had admitted to the judge that he had neglected his son and ignored him, fabulated that perhaps as he ignored the boy, he had fallen and gotten all those bruises, because he 'would never put a hand upon Bruno', but he had insisted that he had done so not out of love, but because his wife's death had broken his heart enormously to the point that he had sunk and been unable to look after his son, and then compromised to seeking mental health to be the father he deserved. The judge, with no evidence that Aaron had actually done anything but neglecting Bruno, had said that if Aaron did his short time of five years of probation with a juicy fine, found a good job and proved that he was capable of taking care of his son again, he could request custody again and perhaps a judge may give it to him, but that he had to radically change for that to happen.

The problem with Aaron not going to prison was that Ashlyn and Ali were told by the judge that even though they had temporal custody of Bruno, it was their duty to try and help Aaron be a better Dad for Bruno, as they seemed to have things more figured out. Father and son must work to reconnect and form a strong bond so that the father could one day recover custody, and so in case that they weren't able to find any other family member, Bruno had someone, and who better than his father?

“And it is bullshit,” Ashlyn said a few days after Bruno came into the house, as Sharon called her to inform the judge had already established a visitation calendar, forcing Ashlyn and Ali to let Bruno spend time with his father, in the only company of a social services worker, every Sunday. “It cannot be just any social worker who doesn't understand how dangerous he may be! I'm not letting Bruno alone with that bloody— yes, I know I don't have a choice but at least the social services could be you! Well how am I supposed to trust some stranger that doesn't even know Bruno? Who's Bruno gonna have to feel comfortable there? He'll be crying the entire time! Urgh!”

When she finally hung up, she looked around to see Ali and Bruno on the rug on the floor, playing together with a toy that was supposed to help Bruno learn shapes and put the objects in the right hole depending on the shape.

“What's wrong?” Ali asked with a frown.

“We have to take him to McArthy, tomorrow,” Ashlyn announced flatly, sitting with them. Bruno, who was far behind in his development due to the neglecting attitude of his father, tried to put one of the figured into his mouth, and Ashlyn gently pulled it out, not minding the drool.

“McArthy? You mean Bruno's father? Since when do you call him by his surname?”

“Since he's a j-e-r-k who got off with five years of probation,” Ashlyn puffed loudly. “Now the judge says we have to make active efforts to restore his relationship with Bruno so that at some point, McArthy can get him back, so they have to spend Sundays together now.”

“Oh, d-a-m-n!” Ali scowled. Ashlyn couldn't help snorting a laugh.

“Are we like this now? Spelling out every single curse word so Bruno doesn't follow?”

“Just one reason more we are better parents than the Mister,” Ali raised eyebrows. “So what now, we have to meet tomorrow? Where?”

“Oh, that's just the best part. We have an appointment for breakfast at a café with a new social worker person and him so he can meet us and see who will be looking after Bruno in the meantime, and then we, kid you not, are supposed to _let him take the boy home_. Of course the social worker will be there the entire time, but we cannot be! And Bruno's going to cry like hell, he won't want anything with us come Monday, he's gonna hate us and when he realizes it's a weekly thing for five years—,”

“Ashlyn, relax,” Ali stopped him, feeling the anxiety rising in her as well. “One step at a time. We enjoy today with our boy, we tell him how much we love him tomorrow, we let him go with his father, think about it maybe Bruno does miss him after all, okay? Maybe it goes well. Maybe if he sees we're all mates, he won't be scared to go with him. We're doing this whole thing for Bruno, after all.”

“Okay, right, maybe he doesn't hate the guy...”

“Yeah, remember he asked for him once. And we do our bests efforts, regardless of our feelings, to get to know McArthy, because what if we have it all wrong? What if he's telling the truth? What if someone else hurt Bruno, and in his father's neglect, no one ever realized? What if he loves Bruno and is just heartbroken and lost? We owe it to Bruno to give him a chance, and to try our best to make a man and a father out of that man. Because if we could reunite Bruno with the only living parent he's got left, Ash... we should. Even if it hurts us... he goes first. A parent should always gulp down their pain for the benefit of their kids. And the only way for us to make sure Bruno doesn't go through a nightmare Sunday after Sunday is ensuring those two get along and Bruno has the best time with that man, or else, we're going to see Bruno living through hell Sunday after Sunday for five years, do you want that?”

“Of course not...” Ashlyn sighed. “Okay fine, if you put it that way... you're right. The best way for us to be sure Bruno is dying for Sunday to come instead of dreading it is by making sure his father is Mr Perfect.”

“Yes. And did Sharon tell you how are we supposed to help McArthy if we're not allowed into their shared Sundays?”

“She did,” Ashlyn sighed. “We're supposed to spend three hours together every Sunday with the social worker present to, between the three of us, help McArthy with Bruno. This will be at the beginning of the visits and then you and I leave... and come pick up Bruno at 8 on Monday morning. Gives them 24 hours, not one second more.”

Ali nodded and focused back on playtime. Of course she was worried, anxious and didn't like having to separate from Bruno, but she knew he wasn't theirs to claim, at least not yet, and until he was, they'd have to play by the state rules, even if it meant risking it all and never having Bruno. It was all for him, after all.

The toddler ended up falling asleep while playing, and Ali put him in his crib for a nap, taking the baby monitor with her back to the living room. There she saw Ashlyn was still on the floor, sitting, looking serious and not moving even when Logan was gently nudging her for her to pat her.

“Hey,” Ali sat with Ashlyn, and looked worriedly at her, “baby, cheer up. Everyone will get a happy ending, okay? Bruno will be just fine, and eventually, we'll adopt our family and it'll be everything we ever dreamed of and more.”

“Will it, Alex?” Ashlyn murmured, slumping her shoulders. “I know I'm selfish and should just want Bruno to go back with his father, I should want for Aaron to be an incredible Dad, who Bruno deserves, and for them to be happily ever after... I made a compromise, I know. But a part of me can't help wanting for Aaron to suck, so Bruno can stay with us. Because if Bruno has to leave...” her eyes filled with tears and she looked down with a pout. “He just fitted here. He's already part of us, he's our kid... Logan loves him, we love him, he loves this place and us... and without him, I'm afraid I'm always going to feel like something is missing. Like he'll leave a big hole here we'll never be able to fill... Because for me, it'd be worse than a miscarriage. If you miscarry, at least you never knew the kid, but we know Bruno. We've got a ton of happy memories with him, how are we ever going to just forget him and... move on without feeling our hearts shatter?”

With a deep sigh, Ali pulled Ashlyn into her arms and kissed the top of her head, squeezing her tightly.

“I'm afraid too,” Ali murmured. “But think about it, if Aaron really likes us, if we help him get his family back instead of becoming enemies... I bet he'll let us stick around and Bruno's aunties, right? So we'll never really have to say goodbye. He'll get to have everyone, without having to say goodbye, and he'll be so happy... we can do that for him, right? And I'm sure, I'm sure that as much as he felt like the one, same happens when we fall in love and we don't always marry the first love. Sometimes we think someone's absolutely the one and there cannot be anyone else... and then there is. Maybe Anne sent us to fix her family and reconnect the two men she loved most, maybe that was our job here... and maybe Bruno's job was to leave us a ton of lessons, and show us a small sneak peek of what our future will look like. Show us we can be good mothers, and give us hope someone will come who will feel even more fitting than he did. Everything happens for a reason babe, we just have to believe.”

“I thought we weren't religious in this family.”

“I'm not talking about God, just about the universe. You and I were put together despite every chance against us... you and I made it here. We've been through so much... I'm sure this is just the universe doing what it takes to give us lessons... so that when we finally do get the perfect children we are doomed to call our own, we will be as perfect as they deserve. Maybe in the way we're not supposed to gain every game... but to meet the right people, make friends, meet incredible children who change us forever, fix families like ours couldn't be fixed when we were little... make this world better. And once we do that, we'll be compensated with our own kids.”

Ashlyn wrapped her arms around her waist and nodded against her neck, nuzzling there.

“You know, I'm not sure how I am going to stay that optimistic and believe that, but okay, I'll make the effort, for Bruno and for our own sakes. Everything happens for a reason, we just have to believe blindly and all will be okay. Just like we were.”

“Exactly.”

“Thank you for the motivational talk, I was kinda sinking.”

“Anytime,” Ali grinned at her, kissing her softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I just hope you're right.”

“Me too. Come on, let's spend hours looking at Bruno while we can.”

On Sunday, they both woke up a little tense, but they stood up, made breakfast, waited until Bruno woke up to make him have some breakfast while trying to keep him for falling right back asleep, and proceeded with their day as normal. They calmly got ready and into the car, and while Ali drove, Ashlyn took a peek at Bruno. They hadn't packed for him because supposedly, his father had all of Bruno's things at their home, and they had only had to debate whether to let Bruno's stuffed lion come along, but eventually decided against it, at least until they were sure his father was a cool guy and wasn't going to rip the lion off or make it disappear. After all, it was Bruno's favourite toy. They'd just pick him up with it in the morning.

“Okay buddy,” Ashlyn nudged the baby gently. “Now you have to go play with Dada, okay?”

“Dada?” Bruno frowned.

“Yes, love, Dada. You play with Dada today, and we will see you tomorrow morning. I know it sucks, but... you have to go to sleep with Dada, all right? And tomorrow you, Ali and I will play all day long.” Bruno seemed confused and looked away. “Remind me again we're doing the right thing?”

“We are doing the right thing,” Ali reassured her. “All for Bruno. We'll get our time.”

“How is it so easy for you?” Ashlyn inquired. “I'm here a pool of anxiety and you're just like normal.”

“It's not easy, but I am _trying_. You know I carry my stuff inside.”

“Well you shouldn't. Better out than in.”

“Yeah well, not for me,” Ali sighed. “Let's just drop it. We have work to do.”

Ashlyn nodded, pressing her lips together and putting a gentle hand on Bruno's lap. It was going to be a very long Sunday.


	16. Aaron McArthy

**Chapter 16: Aaron McArthy.**

“Bruno, my boy!” a tall, very thin man, very young and with muscle in the little weight he had, stood up from a table upon seeing them, extending his arms wide towards his son and beaming with a grin from ear to ear.

Ashlyn eyed him suspiciously, holding Bruno closer, as Bruno turned around at him and frowned. Aaron's dark eyes fixed on his son in a way Ashlyn didn't entirely like, and then on her. He had short black hair, curly, but it seemed like Bruno was more resembling of his mother than him.

“Hello,” Ali grinned, extending a hand to the tall man, “you must be Aaron. I'm Ali, this is my wife Ashlyn. It's nice to meet you!”

“Hi, yeah, thanks for looking after my boy,” Aaron kept smiling, and extended his hand to Ashlyn, who shook it with a polite smile. “Hi sweet boy, didn't you miss Dada?”

“Dada no!” Bruno scowled and looked at Ashlyn, puffing before turning away so he didn't have to face the man.

“Oh, poor thing is confused, kids at this age forget you so fast is unbelievable,” Aaron laughed lightly. “Bruno, come on, I missed you!”

“You think so? It hasn't been a week...” Ashlyn wasn't gulping it. She knew Bruno didn't want to go with him and her heart broke a little, but she remembered Ali's words. She had to make an effort, for him. “Bruno, sweetie, why don't you go with Dada, uh? I bet he's dying to hug you, and you sure must miss him, uh? Just go with him a little, I promise you it'll be fine.”

“Sometimes this happens, it's understandable,” the social worker had stood up from the bed. She was a petite blonde who seemed to have been chatting with Ali, because both women parted to face them, and she smiled kindly. “I'm the social worker, Christine. And you must be Bruno! So cute,” she caressed his cheek, but he faced away and buried his face against Ashlyn's neck, holding onto her for dear life. “Ah, yes, they did tell me he was a bit uncomfortable with strangers. Why don't we all sit down and give him some time to get used, yes?”

Ashlyn grabbed a seat between Aaron and the social worker, while Ali sat across her, eyeing Bruno anxiously. Ashlyn held him close and kissed the top of his head, whispering comforting words under Aaron's attentive watch.

“He's always been a shy kid,” Aaron commented graciously. “The first time I introduced him to one of my friends, he would cry every time he held him, took a while for him to allow other people near us!” he chuckled, and Christine and Ali smiled. Ashlyn looked down on Bruno, caressing his cheek.

“Yeah, he was a bit shy with us as well, at first,” Ali joined in. “But it was a matter of a couple hours before he was asking for hugs and cuddles. Do you have a dog, Aaron? 'Cause your kid sure loves our dog, and you know what they say, animals help kids a lot.”

“Oh, no, I can't afford that,” said Aaron with a shrug. “I just got a new job at a car repair though, so perhaps in a few months... it pays better than other jobs I've had. But I've always liked to invest every penny on Bruno, all his nappies, clothes... he grows fast, there are things he never even used. So he's the first kid you've ever had, Christine was telling me?”

“Yes, I was so surprised when Sharon told me how well you're doing despite the lack of experience,” Christine commented, her blue eyes looking at the other women. A waitress came to get their coffee orders and a juice for Bruno.

“Well we have years of babysitting experience, sometimes during several days in a row,” Ali explained without missing a beat, as the waitress went back behind the bar, near them. “We've even had joint holidays with family with children, and we helped with everything. And at work, we had to spend a month or more at a hotel with teammates that had children, and all of us had to be aunties and lend a hand, because the other partner couldn't tag along with us and the Momma was left alone.”

“Not to mention we did every single course, including the optional ones, that Florida offered to become foster parent,” added Ashlyn, wanting to make sure Aaron knew who he was dealing with. “We feel really confident around children, and Bruno has been very easy to deal with. He's a joy to have around the house, the most well-behaved kid I've ever seen, and he hardly ever cried during the night. We always put on a soft lullaby for him through the night anyway, he seems to like it.”

Christine looked more than pleased about the women, and even more when coffee came and Ashlyn made a visible effort to ensure Bruno was safely tucked aside when she leaned to drink some off her cup.

“You make it sound so easy,” Aaron commented nonchalantly. “When Annie and I eloped, we barely had any money with us, just all the love in the world and then more,” he looked down at his mug, “but we had to, because our families sucked. Annie's parents wanted her off in freaking Texas to go to college, which she didn't want, but they wouldn't listen. And my family disapproved my artistic ambitions and wouldn't shut up about it. I wanted to be a comic artist, but it never quite happened, and instead of supporting me, my family made me feel like a failure and blamed poor Annie, calling her a distraction or a whore. I ain't want my kid with people who will call his angel mother a whore to his face, y'know? So when my poor darling left this world,” he gulped in all seriousness, frowning. “I told myself I owed it to her and to our son, born of the utmost love, to be a great Dad. I worked my butt off, which is not easy when you don't have for a nanny and Bruno had to tag along, which no boss ever liked. We were alone, just the two of us, but I always told him it'd be enough. My friends could lend a hand now and then, stay with him sometimes for me to work better, even more when he was younger and he cried constantly... as if calling for a mother that wouldn't come,” his voice got hoarse. “But I promised to her I'd do my job, I promised Bruno would be happy. And I thought he was. I gave him better than I've given myself, I barely spend money on me anymore, if ever! Got freaking thin because his meals go before mine. Now the state is mad I couldn't manage to teach him to walk or to go to the toilet... well I barely had time, and when I did I was busy trying to keep him alive, staying awake whole nights when he was sick, up early for work... we've made it just fine a year and a half. And now maybe he doesn't even want to look at me, maybe I've disappointed him too much but... he should know I gave it my best, cause I love him,” he looked down and rubbed his eyes, although Ashlyn didn't see tears. He let a long sigh out. “It just sucks to try your best and still not be good enough.”

He seemed to crumble and cry and Ashlyn frowned, looking at Ali and Christine. Both women seemed to have gulped it. Ali was already offering him a tissue and comforting him, and Christine was already invested in encouraging him and reassuring him many parents struggle too, and he was good enough.

By the time Ashlyn and Ali finally returned to the car, both with Bruno's cries still present in their ears after they had struggled to leave him with Aaron, none of them was in a good mood. Ali was feeling increasingly conflicted, terribly sad for Aaron's situation, but also sad for having to leave Bruno and not having a child to call her own. She wanted her own Bruno, but on the other hand, she really wanted to help Bruno's family and see him be happy with his Dad, and not as sad as he had been. She thought of Anne, and how much she loved Aaron and wanted for their boys to stick together, how much the two had already gone through, and it pained her. Ashlyn, on the other hand, mistrusted Aaron and disliked him on principle, so she got angrier and angrier wondering why she was being forced to leave Bruno with him, why Bruno wasn't theirs, thinking everything was so unfair. She had no space in her heart to be sorry for Aaron like Ali was, to be compassionate with his situation or anything like that.

“Did you see that?” Ashlyn exploded in the privacy of their car, as Ali drove into the highway back to Altamonte Springs. “Crocodile tears, and Christine gulped it! Fucking incredible, seriously. He was all faking around!”

“How can you say that? I thought you'd be the first to be empathetic with him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he was poor, in a difficult situation... he's basically your parents when you were little. Don't you feel sorry for him?”

“Oh, come on, you too?! Ali, he was faking it all! He's nothing like my parents.”

“How can you say such things? You know nothing of his life, for all we know he could be a victim of his circumstances!”

“If he was, do you really think Bruno would've been so sad to go back to him?”

“He is going back to a humble flat with much less toys and attention. Here he's got a dog, a bunch of toys and the two of us constantly hoovering over him, it's only normal he prefers us for now... even more if there's been trouble with his father... but he's going to have to get used to it. I'm sure Aaron loves him.”

“Ali, he _neglected_ the kid!”

“So did your parents! You know sometimes parents aren't perfect, sometimes they go through really rough stuff, the man was alone, heartbroken, in debt, desperate... his mind blocked, he was paralysed by stress and worry. Wouldn't you be? It was unintentional, you heard him, he's sorry!”

“He's saying what it takes for Christine to like him!”

“Can't you step on his shoes for five seconds? Imagine social services had appeared at your home, taken you and Christopher from your parents, never giving them a second chance... when a second chance was all they needed. You would've never gotten to see the great people your parents turned out to be.”

Ashlyn glared at Ali, her blood boiling. Ali's fists clenched on the steering wheel and her eyes fixed on the road, her face tense.

“My parents are the reason Christopher and I almost gave our lives up to drugs and alcohol, the reason Christopher has a criminal record to begin with. Maybe things would've been better for everyone if social services had done their job, appeared at our doorstep, and taken us away,” Ashlyn snarled. “Two mouths less to struggle to feed for them, and a chance to go with a loving, healthy family for us. If that had ended well, a lot would have been different for us, and I wouldn't be in antidepressants for life!”

The defender's lips pressed firmly and she furrowed her eyebrows.

“You _don't_ mean that. You love your parents.”

“Of course I bloody love them, Alex, but that doesn't change the fact that they've screwed me for life! And even if Aaron and Bruno loved each other, that wouldn't change the fact that Aaron abandoned him for days and possibly sexually abused him. It doesn't change the fact that we might have just given a child up to a paedophile.”

“Well we have to believe him, okay? We have to trust the judge's criteria and trust Bruno is okay or we'll go mad. Our job is not to judge but to do what the judge says, we agreed on that, Ashlyn.”

“Doesn't mean I like it.”

“We should distract ourselves. Let's go to a bar or something.”

“Getting drunk won't help me forget Bruno,” Ashlyn grumbled under her breath, looking out the window.

“I know, I was just thinking of a way not to think of anything,” Ali murmured moodily. They faced opposite windows, no music in the car for once, both feeling something was missing.

Once at home, Ashlyn and Ali went in different directions without looking at each other, both too caught up in their own thoughts. Ali grabbed a small bottle of beer and walked outside to the backyard with Logan in town, and Ashlyn stood there not knowing what to do, and then went to Bruno's bedroom. She wondered if at any point, she'd stop thinking about it as Bruno's bedroom, but right then, she couldn't. She sat on a rocking chair by the crib and took Bruno's stuffed lion from the bedside table where they had left it early in the morning. It still smelled of Bruno's new shampoo.

She wondered what Bruno must be doing at the moment, and prayed he was all right. She hoped he was having so much fun he was forgetting them, as if they had just been a nice dream, but reality was even nicer. And unexpectedly, she found herself crying. Crying for a child that wouldn't come, for the one they couldn't protect, and for the unfairness of the whole thing. But when she ran out of tears and was left with mere hollowness inside, she knew what to do.

The goalkeeper looked through the glass wall in the back of the house, saw one of the sofas, and could see from behind Ali was hunched over, and seemed to shake, as if she was crying. Ashlyn walked outside and straight to her, her own eyes swollen and reddened from crying. Ali's eyes also filled with tears, some falling freely through her cheeks and chin, while Logan tried to comfort her and she half patted her, half attended her bottle of beer. At last, they locked eyes, and Ali took a deep breath.

“I'm fine,” Ali murmured.

“No, you're not,” Ashlyn sat next to her, “and neither am I. But we will be, okay? One day soon, we will have kids running around this backyard, screaming in the pool... and we will not have to see them go until it's time for college. Soon. And until then, we have each other and Logan, and we shouldn't forget that.” She wrapped her arms around Ali, bringing her close.

“I'm sorry for the argument in the car,” Ali murmured against her shoulder.

“Me too,” Ashlyn kissed her forehead. “I love you, babe.”

“I love you too. More than you'll ever know,” the goalkeeper placed the stuffed lion she had brought with herself on Ali's lap, and smiled softly at her, separating a little. “Oh, his lion...”

“Just a few hours more, and he'll be back with us,” Ashlyn reminded her. “He'll come back, Alex. We've been so stupid because... we just have to wait a little more, and either it'll be a success and we'll have nothing to worry about, or Bruno'll be miserable and we will have to pick up his pieces... but we'll know he never has to go back. The judge won't let it happen. In any case, it all ends tomorrow morning.”

“You're right,” Ali nuzzled against her. “One day at a time.”

“One day at a time,” Ashlyn agreed.

“I just hope he's happy. I hope he's not thinking about us and missing us, because he's having the time of his life.”

“Me too,” Ashlyn picked up Logan with a groan from the effort, as the dog was heavy, and put her in their laps, rubbing her belly. “Looks like you're our only baby for now, Loggie!”

Ali snorted a laugh and kissed her cheek, caressing Logan's face. It'd be enough. For now.

  
  



	17. You bloody bastard

**Chapter 17: You bloody bastard.**

Waking up on Monday morning had never been easier. They were so ready to pick Bruno up at his little flat in Orlando, that they arrived there two hours early, and Ali parked around the building's corner.

“Let's go in,” Ali said. “I'm sick of waiting.”

The younger woman chuckled and patted her thigh affectionately. She was holding Bruno's lion, dying to give it to him.

“Judge said it has to be 24 hours. We have to wait.”

“Aw, your rules suck,” Ali joked, reaching a hand to squeeze his. “I barely slept, I really cannot wait to see that cheeky face and kiss it proper!” Ashlyn smiled warmly at her.

“Me too. Gosh, he's going to seem so big!”

Suddenly they frowned, both of them spotting at the same time Aaron walking pulling from a large suitcase. He stopped by a trashy-looking car, opened the boot, and put the suitcase in. It seemed very heavy, as Aaron's face tensed with effort, but eventually it was settled and he closed the boot.

“Where is he going?” Ali inquired.

“I don't know, but I don't see Bruno, and he's getting into the driver's seat. Quick, follow, and don't let him see you.”

“Follow...?!”

“Ali, don't argue, he's leaving! Stay at a good distance, but keep your eyes on him. If he's going on a trip, we need to find out what's he done to Bruno.”

They stayed at a close distance, and when Aaron went into the highway, they kept a slightly bigger distance, to make sure they weren't identified. They followed Aaron for a bit over an hour, as he drove south, then out of the highway and through a narrow road that went into the vast countryside. As it was normal in a place as filled by lakes of all sizes as Florida, the narrow road, where they had to keep a larger distance because otherwise it'd be very evident they were following, passed over a small lake forming a low bridge, about five metres below.

“Park here, he's slowing down,” Ashlyn told Ali, indicating a road that began to their right. Ali got out of the road and parked in the grass field, and they got out, jogging and hiding behind trees and bushes to look at Aaron.

He had parked on a side of the road by the bridge, and looked around several times before deciding he was alone and opening the bonnet. He took out the suitcase and lifted it up in his arms.

“What's he doing? Is he going to throw it to the lake?” Ali choked as they saw him support the suitcase on the railing.

“Oh my God,” Ashlyn suddenly realized, and her eyes widened. “Ali, Bruno's in the suitcase!”

“Fuck, NO!” Ali screamed as the suitcase fell to the lake.

It was enough for Aaron to turn around, panicking as he saw them. But before he could run to his car, both athletes had ran after him, Ashlyn a little behind, being a goalkeeper, but Ali, who was used to surpassing even 20 year olds, speed up and, to Ashlyn's widening eyes, grabbed Aaron hard from behind, pulling him back from the car door and, to Ashlyn's growing astonishment, punched him so hard across the face that Aaron collided head first against his window. When he looked around, shocked, his nose was broken and bleeding, and Ali was grabbing him and yelling at him. Ashlyn made it to them and automatically climbed over the railing just enough to see. She couldn't see the suitcase anymore.

“Was Bruno there? Did you throw Bruno?!” Ali was demanding to know, punching Aaron again. “ANSWER ME!” she was an absolute lioness right now, Ashlyn had never seen her lose her shit half as much.

“I-uh, shit! Yes! Fuck, leave me!” Aaron could barely understand what was happening. As soon as Ashlyn heard, she jumped over the railing.

“ASH! FUCK!” Ali threw Bruno aside with strength and ran to her car, speeding past Aaron's car, as he sat disoriented and confused on the ground, and down the road around the lake, going below until she was at the shore level. She drove into the grass field just as she saw Ashlyn come out of the water, swimming on her back and holding something dark against her chest. Ali, with her heart beating so hard she almost felt like it'd come out through her mouth, drove until the car was right by the water, and took off her shoes and socks, leaving them in the car along with their mobiles -Ashlyn's had been charging, hers was just left there in the moment- knowing she'd need the phones, and then, without caring about anything else, ran into the lake, swimming towards Ashlyn. “Ashlyn! Ashlyn!”

“I'm fine! I've got him! Don't come in, call 911!” Ali stopped where her feet touched the ground and the water reached her shoulders and observed uneasily as Ashlyn struggled to swim back, but she knew she was no use in the freezing water of a November day. However, she also knew there were very real possibilities Bruno and her wife, who was after all recovering from terrible internal injuries, would sink together. So she swam to them, boldly.

“You cannot do this alone,” Ali said, reaching Ashlyn. “You're not cleared for exercise yet, you could drawn. I'll get him.” Ashlyn, breathless, couldn't even argue. She hadn't had time to remove her shoes that, filled with water, made swimming harder, not to mention she hadn't even ran after her surgery before that day.

Ali took Bruno, trying to ignore how cold and motionless he was, a soaked toddler in her arms, and Ashlyn was able to swim better, following Ali out of the lake. Once their feet touched the muddy ground, they held onto it with difficulty, as they had to climb out and it was very easy to slide or sink in the mud. Ali pulled Bruno up in her arms and with a lot of effort, both women made it out of the water.

“Go call 911, I've done CPR before,” Ashlyn said, and Ali nodded, handing Bruno and running for the car. Ashlyn carefully lied Bruno, who was pale and unconscious, on the grass outside the water and, dripping over him, started doing CPR. She could hear Ali frantically calling for an ambulance and police next to her. Suddenly, Bruno gasped for air, and she felt herself breathe again.

**. . .**

Three hours later, Ashlyn and Ali sat by Bruno's bedside at the hospital. He was now sleeping peacefully with his stuffed lion, Ali's right wrist was fractured and in a cast, and a cop had been so kind to drive their car back and pass by their house and grab them so dry clothes, so now they sat in clean clothes. They had been looked at by the doctors as well, and were fine, miraculously even more so for Ashlyn. Police had praised them and admitted Ashlyn had been incredibly brave, although also reckless.

“You know,” Ali whispered, her still damp hair up in a messy bum, “I've never been prouder of you. You're such a fierce mother, you know? And one day, when we have kids of our own...” she looked at Ashlyn and squeezed her hand with her healthy left one. “I know they're going to be in the best of hands, with a Momma that is willing to do literally anything for them.”

Ashlyn smiled and squeezed her hand back.

“I was only inspired by my lioness of a wife. You were fucking scary,” she snorted a laugh. “How's your wrist doing?”

“The painkillers help,” Ali leaned her head on her shoulder. “I'm so glad Bruno will be fine.”

“Therapist for life but,” Ashlyn shrugged. “We're all a little crazy after all.”

Suddenly the door opened wide and Sharon, Christen, an older couple and an older, suited man all came in.

“Oh, thank God for you two,” Sharon reached to hug them. “Is everything okay? How's your wrist Ali?”

“Fractured, but we're fine,” Ali smiled. “A cold is nothing on us. And Bruno will recover, the doctor said it was just a concussion and some water in his lungs they've already taken care of. He had some hypothermia, but it's been taken-care of already and he fell asleep with his favourite stuffed animal like a champ.”

“Jesus Christ...” Sharon sighed, nodding, and looked back at Bruno. He was dry and sleeping peacefully curled on his side, the bed fences up, and Ashlyn's hand caressing his curly hair. “We were just talking to the doctor, apparently he'll be discharged this afternoon if all goes well, and we told them they could discharge him into your care. Which leads me to... Ashlyn, Ali, this is Judge Randy Marshall, he's in charge of Bruno's case,” she pointed to the older man with a suit and a goatee, white receding hair, and the footballers shook hands with him. “And these are Mrs Oakland, Aaron's mother, and Mr Tizziano, Anne's Dad.”

“Oh, so Bruno's family was finally found,” Ashlyn said as they shook hands. Mr Tizziano was so much like Bruno it was frightening, with warm olive-green eyes and a sincere smile, his hair grey and full of curls. Mrs Oakland was tall, but not nearly as thin as her son, and looked happy but stressed and anxious.

“Yes, well... I never married Aaron's Dad, we were never actually together and I raised him alone,” said Mrs Oakland. “I have two other kids, but younger, in college... couldn't come. But when Judge Marshall called me and explained me what happened today and that I have a grandson, I had to come, and I had to call Mr Tizziano, even after all these years... and we decided together how to proceed now.”

“My poor wife died from sadness shortly after our sweet Anne died,” said Mr Tizziano.

“Oh, we're so sorry...” Ali said quickly, and Ashlyn nodded. The adults stood near the bed now, forming a circle in the dimly-lighted room.

“It's okay,” Mr Tizziano sighed. “Life goes on, and I have another daughter to worry about. We all live in Seattle, she's happily married, so at least there's hope there. It was only luck that I was in Tampa visiting a friend when Mrs Oakland, and then Judge Marshall called. And so we were just... dying to meet Bruno.”

“Well, go ahead. He's your grandson after all,” Ashlyn encouraged them with a small smile.

Both grandparents walked by Bruno's bed and caressed him or kissed him, smiling down at them, until they looked at each other, and both nodded.

“Is it official then?” the judge asked. “You can still change your mind.”

“No, I think we know what the right thing for Bruno is,” said Mrs Oakland, smiling softly.

“I have to agree,” nodded Mr Tizziano, and both grandparents came closer again. “You see, Ashlyn, Ali, Mrs Oakland and I are not youngsters anymore. We know Bruno, being so young... he's lost so much already, his father is in prison and his poor mother died and... we think he should be happy now. Not be raised by one of us and have to bury us in twenty years or so... he should have a chance to have all Anne wanted for him.”

“Once we realized we couldn't take care of him, we started thinking of who could. My kids are too young, but Anne's sister was more than willing. However,” said Mrs Oakland, going on, “when we called her, the more we talked the more we realized maybe it wasn't the best for Bruno to have to move all the way from warm, sunny Orlando, to cold, rainy Seattle... after all Anne always preferred the south way more, and she would've preferred Florida for him, she made the choice when she birthed him here. I mean, if we had no choice but bring him... but we realized we do have a choice. Bruno _does_ have a choice now. A bunch of strangers up in Seattle... or here, with you. We've heard wonders about you, after all. He seems to really like you, and we know you care, after what you've done today... We've heard you're athletes and Bruno would have a nice house with a pool, a dog, two loving mums, when he started off with none... and we realized...”

“That's what Anne would dream for Bruno,” said Mr Tizziano, and Mrs Oakland nodded. “He shouldn't have to pay adults' mistakes by changing state and all. He found happiness here, with you. For what Sharon has told us, it seems you guys connect, and we know that's not easy. We ourselves had a lot of issues understanding Aaron and Anne... and we think if Bruno fits in your family, then he's better off there. So for me, I only have one question. How much do you really want a kid?”

Ashlyn and Ali exchanged a look of disbelief.

“It's what we always wanted, two or three actually,” Ashlyn snorted a laugh of relief. “Obviously we cannot have one, and ideally, we would've done it all sooner, but work got in the way, so parenthood was always our pending, most desired goal...”

“I cannot get pregnant,” said Ali, plainly. “And Ashlyn has horrible knees for a pregnancy. And then we thought... Ashlyn had a shitty family situation as a child, and we realized we didn't have to make a person, not when there are so many little persons all alone and suffering... and we sort of opened our eyes and saw that nothing would feel better than helping some of those children find a family. We realized we are two people dying to have a family... and there are many children with the same wish, so it only made sense.”

“We wanted to adopt Bruno pretty much from the first day, when we felt... we felt he was something special, like he was meant to be at our home,” added Ashlyn. “But of course, if he had biological family, we always understood he should be with his family.”

“I think he's made a choice that his family is you,” said Mrs Oakland with a warm expression. “It's not easy raising a kid, even less one as traumatized... I'm told you've done a bunch of courses?”

“A ridiculous amount, we had a lot of free time,” Ashlyn sniggered, and the social workers laughed.

“And I've seen his bedroom photos, what did you buy, the entire shop?” Mr Tizziano asked amused.

“We weren't sure how big he would be, so we just got every age until 8,” Ashlyn confessed, blushing. “Then we got super excited about the idea of actually accomplishing the dream and bought way more than we'd consider normal.”

Suddenly, Ali burst into tears and covered her face with a hand.

“Oh sweetie, why cry?” asked Christina, patting Ali's back.

“C-Cause,” Ali hiccuped, “it was so h-hard to leave B-Bruno yesterday and...” she sniffled, and Ashlyn rubbed her back, worried. “I really do l-love him and I c-cannot stand the t-thought of leaving him again a-and never s-seeing him again...”

“Aw, love...” Ashlyn wrapped her in a hug. “We'll be fine. We'll keep helping kiddos out, it'll be fine. Bruno will just get his happy ending.”

“I'm afraid we haven't made ourselves clear...” Mrs Oakland frowned. “We want for you to adopt Bruno, if you'd have him. We told Judge Marshall as we came here.”

Hearing her, Ashlyn and Ali separated and looked at them, astonished.

“R-Really?!” Ali choked out.

“I can't think of a better place for him,” said Mrs Oakland. “Nor of a better family.”

“And Bruno James Krieger-Harris sounds bloody great,” Mr Tizziano added. “Bruno was always Anne's favourite name, James is after a good friend Anne and Aaron had, who died in a car accident but was always very close to them, very dear... and now he'll get the surname of people who really do deserve him and love him. I think we couldn't ask for anything better.”

Ashlyn and Ali both beamed and surprisingly, Ali jumped on Mr Tizziano's arms, crying and thanking him at once.

“Oh my God,” Ashlyn almost wanted to laugh, and covered her mouth with her hands. “We can adopt him? Just like that?”

“Unfortunately there'll be a ton of paperwork and bureaucracy...” Judge Marshall said with a small smile. “But sure, and you'll keep him in the meantime as a foster kid, for the months it takes to complete the adoption. He's yours.”

Ali cried with renovated energy and Mr Tizziano laughed, patting her back. Ashlyn grinned, her eyes filling with tears.

“We won't disappoint. Thank you so much,” Ashlyn told Mrs Oakland. “You don't know how much it means to us, how much we love him, and our dog loves him...”

“Just keep helping kids. We're sure you have Bruno's angel's blessing... and we know he's in the best possible hands with you.”

Bruno's eyes opened and he looked around, seeing Ashlyn and Ali and stretching his hands to them, opening and closing his hands. Ashlyn saw him out of the corner of her eye and beamed, turning to him.

“Hi there Bru-Bru!” Ashlyn said enthusiastically.

“Ashwyn!” Bruno yelled. “Ali!” Ali looked up and almost cried again, running to him. In a matter of seconds, both women sat at each side of him, hugging him and covering him in kissed.

“My sweet boy, I missed you so much!” Ali hugged him. “Are you okay sweetie?”

“We'll get you anything you want, ice-cream? Water? Shit, not water, bugger, not shit!” Ashlyn snorted and hugged her family. “Whatever, just come here!”

  
  



	18. Home sweet home

**Chapter 18: Home sweet home.**

Two weeks and three days later, on Thanksgiving Day, Altamonte Springs awoke sunny and warm, and Ali and Ashlyn excitedly made their way to Bruno's bedroom.

“Good morning!” Ali sang opening the room with a huge grin.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” added Ashlyn. Bruno knelt in his crib, grinning and showing his teeth between the bars, his little arms stretching towards them between the bars.

“Up, up!” he demanded. Ali's grin grew impossibly and she picked the boy up. Ashlyn kissed his cheek as usual, and so did Ali, both women feeling overly happy and cheerful.

“Had sweet dreams, love?” Ashlyn asked, ruffling Bruno's recently shortened curls. He had gotten a Thanksgiving trim the day before.

“Hmmm,” replied Bruno, nodding and playing with Ali's long dark hair. “Ohmeal?”

“You want an oatmeal?” Ali kissed his cheek repeatedly, hugging him close. “Of course sweetie, we'll make you a nice oatmeal and a good milkshake, uh? And you can watch those cartoons you like.”

In the seventeen days since they had rescued Bruno from a sinking suitcase and obtained full custody, a lot of things had changed, with them falling into a family routine. They found a nursery for Bruno to go to for a few hours Monday to Friday, and he started meeting some friends and developing his skills, that were so far behind. He started to speak and attempted to walk, and he barely cried anymore, not even at kindergarten, where he only spent three hours.

Now, Ashlyn invested all her energy in making him eat his oatmeal, shared with Logan for his laughter, making faces for him to open his mouth, while Ali took photos before going and showering. They had to prepare to receive their families, that were coming to meet their new member of the family for Thanksgiving celebrations, so they had to get fancy.

“OK, I'm going to glam-up while you guys are so entertained,” Ali leaned to peck Ashlyn's lips.

“Awesome, love. Mama's gonna get even more stunning than usual to receive Uncle Kyle and Grandma Deb, and Grandpa Ken, and we're all gonna party right?” Ashlyn told Bruno, smiling at him as he ate with appetite. He had already put on some of the weight he was missing. Ali smiled at them.

“Mama... sounds awfully great,” Ali commented.

“Right? He should start learning who we are, now that is official,” Ashlyn said happily. Their relationship felt tighter than ever now that they had a child and were happier and more relaxed.

“Agreed, Momma,” Ali winked at her. “I'll be back real quick. How are you feeling today, by the way?”

“I'm fine, don't worry love. You go get that dirt off, eww!” she joked, making Ali laugh as she went for the bathroom. “We'll do the Logan walk! Come on sweetie, eat it up and we'll go walk Loggie... yes, you, little dino.” She added as the dog came running, wagging her tail.

Once Bruno and Ashlyn had had their breakfast, watching some cartoons on the TV in the meantime, Ashlyn threw some sweats on and dressed Bruno, whose little butt was almost completely healed. They had been potty training him, but he was still getting the hang of it so she changed her nappies and saw Ali was just getting out of the shower to go to the airport before putting Bruno in his stroller, Logan on a leash, and go out for a walk.

She loved mornings like this, still early and fresh, sunny and nice, pushing a stroller while Bruno, who before wouldn't make a noise, babbling at Logan or the trees and trying to manifest his opinion. Ashlyn would lean forward to try and understand a word and smile at him, talk to him, comment on anything she could think of to stimulate him to keep going, and they'd go to the swings for a while. Christopher was going to drive their mother on time for lunch, their father would be coming soon, and Ali's Dad and brother would just be arriving by plane, while her Mum and father-in-law would come by car and be there by lunch time.

After a good walk, Bruno was falling back asleep and Logan seemed tired, so they went back to the house in their private gated area in Altamonte Springs, and saw Ali was already gone. Logan was unleashed to run in the garden, and Ashlyn picked Bruno up in her arms and after checking the house was clean, she walked to the backyard and turned on the TV there, wrapping the sofa blanket around Bruno before lying on the sofa with him on top. She smiled down at his face, where the sun had started to leave little freckles, and caressed his dark brown curls, that were a bit more like thick waves now, not as thick curls as Cassius' were. His eyes closed and he sucked on his thumb, and they both fell asleep.

She woke up what felt like shortly after, as Bruno stretched, babbling and stretching hands to try to catch a butterfly above them.

“What was that Bru?” Ashlyn asked, hearing him babbling. “A butterfly?”

“Bitterfly!”

“Bitterfly?” Ashlyn laughed out loud. “Gee, that's way better, I like it.” She heard noise inside and peeked through the window to see Kyle and Ali laughing about something. “Oh, it appears Uncle Kyle it's here, let's go.”

“Unk Ky?” Bruno asked, curious. He lately repeated a lot whatever they said, and he had really mastered the word 'fuck', which in no way was Ashlyn's fault.

“Your Uncle Kyle, Mummy's brother,” Ashlyn stretched standing up, saw Logan was no longer in the garden, and walked back inside with Bruno sitting against her hip, both of them with sleepy faces and bed hair. “Well hello, hello!”

“Look who woke up!” Ali grinned at them. “I saw it was nap time, good walk?”

“Yes, what's up Kyle?” Ashlyn hugged her brother-in-law.

“Hi! Oh and you're my nephew, hello little man! Oh he's so cute!” Kyle beamed, caressing Bruno's cheek with one finger. Ashlyn remembered right then that Bruno wasn't so good around men and looked expecting to see him terrified, but instead he was just looking at his uncle with curious eyes, all serious and holding onto Ashlyn but without panicking.

“He's not very good with men, but hey, he must like you, he didn't cry,” Ali pointed out, standing by them. “He cried the first time we introduced him to the mail guy.”

“Poor thing,” Kenneth came over from the kitchen, with Mike in tow. “Hi Ash!”

Ashlyn hugged her father-in-law and her own father and observed amused as Bruno fixed eyes on the men like a deer caught in highlights.

They chit-chatted around the wooden-floored sitting area, where they had a corner sofa and an alcohol corner with a small bar and stools below a high alcohol closet, and saw Bruno's 'welcome home' presents that the boys had brought over. Ali poured them some drinks and they sat down to talk for a little and so the men could rest from their flights or rides. Mike was a big man, similar to Christopher, Ashlyn's older brother, and he had white goatee and short moustache, and short, receding white hair and a dimple on his right side, exact same ears as his son. The white hair of his arms was especially evident against his sun-kissed skin, and when he smiled at Bruno, the boy stared attentively and waved a little, seemingly thinking that's what you were supposed to do to strangers, as he sat comfortably and safe on Ashlyn's lap.

“Now that I think about it, I should actually get ready,” Ashlyn realized she was still in her sweats from walking Logan. “Ali, you got him babe?”

“Sure, come with Mummy sunshine!” Ali took Bruno from Ashlyn, who quickly rushed to get showered and change clothes, and Bruno sat on Ali's lap, wearing a sharks t-shirt and his nappies.

“Are you still fostering other kids?” Kenneth asked his daughter as he caressed Bruno's hair while he didn't seem to object.

“Yes, we're just having a break now to get used to Bruno, and they'll be calling us again next month probably,” replied Ali.

“How's it going, with the kiddo's problems and all?” Mike asked, pointing vaguely at Bruno, who leaned against Ali, lazily toying with her hair on his face as usual.

“It's okay,” Ali smiled down at her son. “We have a lot of help from the system and social services, providing professional help to deal with his mental health, advising us, and although at first he was rough sleeper, particularly when he came from the hospital, and he was very fearful and anxious, he's gotten remarkably better in such short time. His paediatrician can finally touch him, and she said that a lot of it had to do with the environment he's in with us, because here he can be happy and relaxed, and doesn't have to be anxious all the time. Besides, since we haven't had work, we could just focus in giving him all of us, and hopefully when we go back to work he'll be well enough to handle things well.”

“I always knew you guys would be fantastic mothers,” Kyle chuckled, nudging her.

“Hey, it really does help that he's the best angel in the world,” Ali kissed Bruno soundly on the head. “Doesn't have us awake every night, is easy to calm down, listens to us... we were even the first people he asked for when he woke up in hospital, he just knows how we care and is so grateful, treats us so well.”

They sat for a few more minutes and then when at last the grandmothers came with Christopher and Ali's step-father Michael -whom they called by full name to avoid confusion with Ashlyn's father Mike-, and without much time of difference between one and another, Ali stood up, smoothed her elegant dress, and carried Bruno to meet his grandparents. Because Ashlyn called her paternal grandparents Pops and Nana and the maternal ones were both deceased but had been simply Grandpa and Grandma, and Ali had never known her own grandparents, they decided to use a similar logistic with their son. Ali's parents were introduced as Grandpa and Grandma, and Ashlyn's parents were introduced as Pops and Nana. Having in count he'd see Ashlyn's family more often, it only seemed fair that they had the simpler nicknames, as they would be the ones in most use. Then there was Uncle Chris and Uncle Kyle, and Ali's step-parents would be called by their names.

“Oh my God I'm so excited,” said Tammye as Bruno allowed for her to hold him while Ali cooked, covering him in kisses. “A grandson, finally!”

“I feel you,” Debbie laughed, caressing his cheek. “He's adorable.”

“And so handsome! Look at that hair!”

“Apparently he looks like his biological mother,” Ali commented as they all hung around the kitchen, as the house was open-plan, mostly, with Logan excitedly running between guests seeking affection. “And he's got the sweetest laugh.” Her hand was still in a cast, so Kyle helped her in the kitchen.

“Hi guys!” Ashlyn finally arrived, with a nice shirt and jumper, and hugged her mother and mother-in-law and everyone else. “What's up Chris?” she added, hugging her brother tightly.

“Just checking my nephew out, I think he's good enough to be a Harris.” He commented jokingly.

“Well he better be, he's not going anywhere,” Ashlyn kissed her son. “Babe, please, let me do the cooking, rest that hand...”

They sat down to eat as soon as Thanksgiving lunch was ready, which took a few hours, but between Ashlyn and the family it was easy to get it done on time. Meanwhile, Ali, Tammye and Christopher sat with Bruno to play on a puzzle-shaped rug full of colour. There, Bruno slowly warmed up to his uncle and mother, and Kyle came to join as soon as things in the kitchen required less hands. Then Ashlyn, Michael and Mike set the table and they all sat to eat, Bruno sitting on Ashlyn's lap where she could help him eat some of the turkey and other things on the table.

Ali took a moment to look at her family, finding it hard to believe that finally, they were one, with a new generation incoming, to love and to pamper for the rest of their lives, and now they could just sit with normalcy and enjoy a thanksgiving meal, being more thankful than ever about what they had.

“So the kid's biological grandparents gave him to you, officially?” Tammye asked during lunch, as she finished the turkey left on her plate.

“Yeah, they were very sweet,” replied Ashlyn, holding Bruno close with one muscled arm. “We've even invited them to be a part of his life whenever they want to, come to visit, join us for festivities, anything... but they think maybe it's better to let us go for a while so we can properly become a family without anyone intruding. They were really considerate.”

“Indeed, and very respectful,” added Ali, sitting in front of her wife between her two brothers. “But they sent some gifts, so we keep them in his room, where he can always have them close, and we want to, when he's older and can understand, tell him about those people who never abandoned him, but fought so he could have the best life that was possible. They're even making the bureaucracy easier on us.”

“Well, what's important now is that no one comes in ten years demanding his custody, when there's been an agreement he's yours,” said Kenneth, taking a sip of his beer. “What about the biological father, do we have to worry about him coming back eventually?”

“He's in prison now, he was sentenced to twelve years for attempted murder, and we've demanded that a life-long restraining order is executed, our lawyer is working on it,” Ali explained.

“He got off practically free,” Ashlyn lamented shaking her head, “but if he ever comes around and tries to even look at our family, I'll leave him so damaged his own family won't be able to recognize him.”

“Did he explain what was his reasoning behind what he did?” inquired Kyle. “Because I mean, if you don't want the kid then he could've let you have it all along.”

“In his own way, yes,” replied Ashlyn. “Blamed the boy for the mother's death, said he was going to suffer like he himself had for losing his wife.”

“That's absolutely barbaric,” Debbie deplored with a scowl. “Poor child had no fault!”

“Man's probably sick here,” Michael told his wife pointing at his head doing a screw gesture. “But Bruno is getting the right psychological help, right? 'cause that's what matters most, that he becomes a good man one day.”

“Yeah, and catching up in his development a little,” said Ali, finishing her meal and looking at Bruno, whose eyes started to close as he buried his face against Ashlyn's chest, which he loved to do. “We don't think he remembers part of what happened, though. The doctor speculated that he could've been unconscious from the concussion, and that this one could've happened either before getting in the suitcase, or later when the suitcase was thrown into the lake. In any case, when Ashlyn pulled him out of it, he was knocked-out, so he wouldn't remember almost drowning, the lake... otherwise he probably would go berserk when we bathe him.”

“Baby steps, never said more literally,” Tammye concluded.

After lunch they took family photos with Logan by the pool and decided to go on a walk with Bruno, taking him to the park. Ashlyn and Ali stepped back and decided to just watch how he bonded with the rest of the family, always standing nearby just in case he seemed to panic, but he didn't. He connected right away with his grandmothers, and slowly warmed-up to the men, as long as they didn't get too affectionate. He pointed to all the things he wanted to do, such as the swings, and he laughed a little when he was having the peek of fun, while his new mothers took pictures and made videos.

After all, it seemed like a perfect Thanksgiving.

  
  



	19. Looming

**Chapter 19: Looming.**

A few days after Thanksgiving, Ashlyn was picking Bruno from his nap and bringing him into the living room for some vocabulary review when he caught Ali scowling at their accounting books on the dining table. The whole table, bigger than their desks, was apparently necessary, because up to the last corner was covered with pencils, sheets of paper with scribbled notes, and their books with all their numbers. Ashlyn had just been out walking Logan and hadn't noticed Ali hard at work, but now it made her stop and stare,, cautious.

“Need help, sweetie?” Ashlyn asked. Ali had always insisted they took care of their books themselves. Something about never giving someone the power to ruin you.

“No, it's all right...” Ali sighed, then looked at Ashlyn with a small smile. “Nothing to worry about, the numbers are just great, I'm sure. How's our boy angel? Did you sleep well my love?”

Bruno sleepily rubbed his eyes and nodded, leaning his head against Ashlyn's clavicle.

“If everything is just great, then why do you look like we're bankrupt?” the goalkeeper inquired.

“It's just...” Ali sighed. “I was looking at how costly it is to be a mother, how much we spend on nappies, his food, all these things... and right now, we're not making any money. We've just lost all the big salary from the national team, and... I wanted to make the next, my last NWSL season. I mean, we don't really have to worry because we're kinda rich and we could afford to just spend without earning a penny for two or three years, but it makes me uneasy knowing the expenditures will grow as our family does but what we earn will be lesser and lesser. We cannot depend on being rich now... just because now we can afford so much, it's not the example we should give Bruno, and it's not something we can depend on being long-lasting. For all we know there could be a global economic crisis and sink us. We could get robbed. There could be a fire and destroy the house.”

“Well I've always been on board with not spending in one month more than I've earned,” Ashlyn nodded, “so you don't need to convince me to try to seek more economical balance in our lives. But Ali, this is just holiday, we can make an exception. In January, you'll be back to AKFC, I'll be back to my next clothes collection, we'll have the NWSL, and we can control our expenditures more... I'm sure we'll be making more than enough. No need to be anxious, right? You're just so used to working all the time, these breaks make you anxious.”

“Yeah... I guess you're right...” Ali pursed her lips in deep thought. “Can't help feeling a little anxious, though...”

Ashlyn smiled small and massaged her shoulder with one big, free hand.

“You could come with Bru and me to watch some cartoons.”

Ali sighed and nodded, standing up. Ashlyn kissed her cheek and they walked together to the living area, where they sat in front of the TV and while Bruno saw it, Ashlyn fed him a baby bottle. But Ali's mind couldn't stop worrying. How were they going to afford university for all their children? Would their new career paths be enough once they retired from football? What if they weren't? What if Ashlyn wasn't such a successful designer, or Ali never was a successful coach? After all, football was all they really knew to do. They had no real guarantees that they'd be able to do anything else successfully, as confident as they might get.

Her worries didn't reduce over the next few days. She tried to put a stop to them in order to focus on the Christmas festivities, and when they received a call about the possibility of fostering a complicated eight-year-old in January, that took over her mind for a long time. Besides, with those being their first Christmas as a family, and with all the adoption bureaucracy, her worries and anxieties were buried in the back of her mind, only to resurface at night when she went to sleep. Ashlyn noticed how anxious and stressed she was looking, but since there was a lot going on in their lives, she merely supposed it had to do with everything that was happening, and decided to help by being more helpful at home and trying to take some more of their responsibilities' burden.

On Christmas Day, they travelled to Satellite for a joint celebration with the Harris and Debbie, and as they excitedly watched Bruno open presents, Ali almost forgot her worries altogether. Bruno was, after all, so happy and excited it was contagious.

“He's a joy to look at, isn't he?” Ashlyn whispered by her ear hugging her from behind as they watched Bruno excitedly play race with his new toy cars and his Uncle Chris. Ali leaned back into her and smiled with a nod.

“I never want him to become a moody teenager.”

“Oh, he won't. I'll get him into sea life and he'll work as a dolphin trainer through his teens, no way he gets moody with that job,” Ashlyn joked, kissing her shoulder. “Happy Christmas, super Mama.”

“Happy Christmas, shark Mummy.”

They kissed tenderly and enjoyed the moment of just watching Bruno. There would be time to be anxious on another day.

The day came soon in January. They had to go to social services to pick up Kai, a troubled boy who was going from foster family to foster family. He had quite the impressive record; robbery, misbehaviour, running away, insulting, aggressiveness, and on occasion, he had even set fire to one of his foster homes' curtains. Both his parents were in prison, and now Ashlyn and Ali hoped to rehabilitate him, with Bruno's help, but they were also a little scared shitless.

At first, Kai looked like a sunshine of a boy. He has blonde, with mid-length wavy hair, he had soft brown eyes, and a charming smile. His long nose was decorated with freckles and he was tall for his age and behaved quite a lot like an adult-child. He played enthusiastically with Bruno, who seemed to like him, and joined Ali in her January AKFC games with excitement. They never lost sight of him, scared of what he might do, but he seemed chill and they started to wonder whether it was all just exaggeration from others. And so after a month home with them, when the temperatures of February weren't so cold, they took him to Miami, to the beach.

It was sunny and the weather was good, so while Ali remained with Bruno and her mother by the shore, playing in the sand, Ashlyn took Kai into the water with her surfboard to show him surfing a little. When they returned back to the group after a good bath, Ali pointed out that near them, a small pond of water had formed because it was between rocks and the sand and, when the tide went out and the water receded before the rocks, it had uncovered the pond, with a level of water just good enough for Bruno to sit there and play with the fishes that had accumulated.

“I'll go with him,” Kai offered. “We can see the fishes. Want that, Bruno?”

“Fish, fish!” Bruno stood up from the sand, sandy from head to toe, and nodded fervently.

The pond was so close the kids were within seconds' of reach as they played sitting inside the water. The area of the beach was a bit isolated, so they didn't have to share with other kids and all was peaceful for a while. The boys bickered a little now and then, they could hear, as they got competitive about catching fishes, but it wasn't anything to worry about. Kids have to learn to argue sometimes.

But then, Kai slapped Bruno across the face, making him break into cries.

“You stupid useless baby! Can't fucking do something right, can't you?!” Kai shouted at him angrily, as Bruno cried and the adults ran to them. Ali pulled her baby into her arms, Ashlyn grabbed Kai's arm and pulled him to the shore. “Let me go, you bitch! You're hurting me!” it was incredible to think he was an eight year old, speaking like that.

“Don't you dare talk like that!” Ashlyn snarled back. “And don't you ever put a hand on Bruno again! Your beach day is over!”

“Whatever you say, looser,” Kai growled, glaring angrily at her under Ali and Debbie's stupefied looks. Ashlyn raised her eyebrows and tightened her grip on him before kneeling in front of him.

“I don't know what's wrong with you, but since you're so grown-up to have such a filthy mouth, I'll talk to you like a grown-up. We are your only chance left, Kai. No one wants you. Your parents will never get out of prison and social services are done with you. If you blow this one chance too, you'll be sent to an orphanage, or worse, to a correctional for minors. We are your last chance to have a family and a good life, with good schools and plenty of toys, and even a little brother, and we want to help you, but I will not move a muscle to help a child that's tormenting my son. If you want to be my son too, you better treat Bruno with respect, and you better clean that mouth of yours and talk to the adults with respect as well, because if you piss us off badly, we won't punish you, we'll drop you off at social services without a second word and tell them the only chance for you is a correctional. A cell, Kai. Understood?”

Kai pulled his arm back forcefully and clenched his teeth, looking down while rubbing his arm. Ashlyn sighed and stood up, looking at Ali, who had Bruno under control already.

“He's okay,” Ali said, guessing her concerns. “Come on, Kai, sweetie, why don't you apologize, uh? And we can all go for an ice-cream and forget about this.”

“And who apologizes to me?” Kai snarled back.

“To you? What for?” Ashlyn frowned. Kai glared at her.

“You hurt me. Maybe you suck as a mother, and that's what truly pisses you off.”

Ashlyn did a conscious effort to breathe and not get enraged, and so did Ali, and Kai stomped off to the towels, sitting on his, crossing his arms, and shutting up for the entire day. It was actually unnerving after a couple hours, when no matter what Debbie, her husband, Ashlyn, Ali or Bruno did, he wouldn't say a word. Being nice and kind didn't work, and neither did getting angry. The kid was experienced.

When breakfast time came the next day and Kai still hadn't muttered a word and had refused to eat a bite for over twelve hours, Ali convinced Ashlyn to try the extra understanding approach.

“Come on, Kai,” the goalkeeper smiled warmly at the boy, who remained sitting on the floor on a corner of his room at the hotel, as he had been since they got there the day before. He had only moved to go to the bathroom. “I'm sorry for what I said yesterday, and for grabbing you, it won't happen again, okay? It wasn't okay of me to do that. And you know, we're not going to let you go into a correctional or anything like that. You're stuck with us, and we won't give up on you. You deserve a family just like anybody else, and we want to be that to you, all right? Ali and I always wanted a big family. Imagine that, you, Bru, Logan... and we could adopt more kids, so you can have a ton of people closer to your age to play with, uh? By next Christmas, we could be opening presents by the chimney, happy... I just want to know what pissed you off so much yesterday, so I can help you. We want to help you, and love you, and give you a home and a family, but this is team work.”

She watched expectantly for a reaction, but he didn't bug. She sat to wait and see if he did anything, but he didn't even move his pupils. After a long time wondering how she could help and feeling quite like a failure, Ashlyn stood up.

“Okay, I'll give you some space. I'm sorry, Kai. When you're ready, we'll be right here, okay? I'll leave the door open.”

“No luck,” Ali told Ashlyn as she saw the goalkeeper come, crestfallen. Ashlyn shook her head and Ali frowned. “Well, just give him some space. He's eight. He cannot stay mad forever, can he?”

  
  



	20. Lost grip

**Chapter 20: Lost grip.**

But things with Kai didn't improve over the next few days. They had hoped that, as he was eating again, this would mean he had completely improved, but he didn't. Back in Orlando, they called social services for help, and followed a suggestion to take Kai to a child psychologist but, when they picked him up after an hour, the psychologist confessed that he hadn't managed a word out of him and therefore refused to make the family pay.

“All right, I've got a plan,” Ali said as they returned home and Kai sat by himself, even when Ashlyn and Ali invited him to come play with them and Bruno. “If he's mad at you and Bru, then maybe I should take him on a fun weekend, just the two of us. I heard there's a fair festival going on in Palm Coast, I'll take him there and let him unwind with the bumper cars.”

Ashlyn pursed her lips in deep thought, and then slowly nodded.

“Okay. I hope that works.”

The boy didn't show any interest for the incoming trip, yet when the day came Ali bid farewell to the family with hugs and kisses, secured Kai's belt in the car, and drove all the way to Palm Coast, where she had booked a hotel room suite for them. The fair was big and full of excitement, so it was odd to see Kai really not give a shit about it. Ali took him to her favourite, the bumper cars, and he silently drove hard against other cars, provoking hard crashes and not even flinching when they took hard ones themselves. Then Ali took him to the water pistols to get a compensation, and with the toy gun Kai proved scaringly good aim, yet he refused the rewards, which he considered, apparently, not good enough.

Finally, Ali took him through the loud and busy fair to the haunted house, and was shocked by his lack of reaction, even when a guy with a fake axe jumped at them in the dark and she screamed.

“It was scary, Ash,” Ali told her wife on the phone as she sat on the sofa to answer her call, back in the hotel suite. Meanwhile, she was preparing a Nutella sandwich for Kai. “Not a flinch. Not a single reaction. Maybe we should take him to the doctor?”

“I don't know, babe, but it _is_ odd,” the goalkeeper scowled in the screen, holding a sleeping Bruno. “Where is he now?”

“Oh, he's in the bathroom, number two,” Ali explained her. “A local told me about a place here that makes great hamburgers children love... I'll take him there for dinner. There has to be a way to help him, and I'm not quitting.” Ashlyn chuckled.

“I love how much of a fighter you are, babe.”

“I just,” Ali sighed, “I think he's such a good, misunderstood boy. I want him to be a part of our family. I want him to be happy. He doesn't deserve the crap he's gotten.”

“Absolutely right. Can't believe life was so shit at him already, it's so unfa—,”

“Sh...” Ali suddenly raised a finger to quieten her. “I hear something... gotta go.”

“Okay, go get him, tiger.”

Ali left her phone on the sofa and walked towards Kai's room. She had heard like a crack.

“Kai, you OK?” Ali asked as she knocked on the bathroom door. Not receiving an answer, she opened the door, that fortunately didn't have a lock. Then, she stopped dead in her tracks. Kai had climbed on the counter by the sink, opened a small window, and he had both legs out of it already. They were on a seventh floor, and he looked at her like a deer caught in highlights. “Kai! What are you doing? Come here right now!”

As Ali rushed forward to grab him, he suddenly jumped out the window. She screamed his name and threw an arm out over the counter and through the window, just on time to catch his t-shirt. With effort, she climbed on the counter while holding him, screaming for help. She managed to look down through the window, just big enough for a kid to fit, and saw she had grabbed him by the shoulder, so she made an extra effort to reach his arms, pulling her own through the window as much as she could, which wasn't much, because her body was too big to fit.

“Kai! Hold in there honey! HELP! HELP!” Ali shouted, feeling her arms scream from his weight, looking down as he tried to wiggle free of her, seemingly fearless. “What are you doing?! Don't move!” He was sliding from her sweaty hands, and she tried to grip him firmer, but it was simply too hard. He wasn't making any efforts to climb up, and her position was so awkward and uncomfortable, sitting on the counter with her forehead pressed against the wall over the window and both arms out as she tried to see him properly, that she couldn't even muster the skills and strength to pull him up.

And suddenly, he slid out of her hands.

**. . .**

“Ali, come on. You need to eat. Your son needs you. I need you,” Ashlyn gently caressed Ali's cheek.

The psychotherapist who had attended Ali after Kai's death had said she was in shock and experiencing PTSD. Thus, Ali snuggled in bed for now four days, barely eating, crying most of the time, and Ashlyn did everything in her power to help her. An investigation had been conducted to determine whether Ali neglected Kai, whether it was her fault, and even though police and social services, with the help of the psychologist who had recently seen Kai, soon determined that the boy wasn't in his right mind and that he had wanted to kill himself, lying by saying he was pooping so Ali wouldn't come in, and therefore it wasn't her fault, the defender still felt the utmost guilt.

They had managed to keep the news private, with the press never knowing, and Kai's parents never knowing their names for their own safety, as the parents were in prison for murder, so at least they didn't have to stress about those things, but Ali had fallen into such a dark hole that Ashlyn still felt deeply worried. Ali's parents and brother were told exactly what happened. The rest of their family and close friends were simply told a foster kid had committed suicide on Ali's face.

“I'm not hungry,” Ali murmured, her eyes bloodshot and glassy and her face pale as she looked absent-mindedly at nothing in particular.

“You still need to eat,” Ashlyn insisted, pulling a dark strand of hair off Ali's face and behind her ear. “Come on, babe. The pre-season starts in no time, Bruno's birthday is right around the corner, he's asking for you all the time... we need you to come back, Alex. You don't help anyone, let alone yourself, by consistently refusing to get out of bed and eat.”

“Can't I have just a few days, uh?” Ali growled hoarsely. “Just one fucking break, is that too much to ask?”

“Well yes, it is when you are a mother, Alex. Listen, I love you, I want to help you, but I can't take care of both Logan and Bruno on my own all alone for much longer, and I can't sit and watch you kill yourself of starvation. I get that you feel guilty—,”

“Oh, do you?” Ali glared at her. “Because last I checked I was the only one standing between Kai and death.” Ashlyn sighed.

“I was the one who was too hard on him. He was fine until I opened my stupid mouth and I made him refuse to live... if I had handled things better, you would've never had to take him for a weekend. If I had been a better mother, he would've never jumped off the window. So if you want to be angry at me, I totally get it, I'm just asking you to please show-up for our kids, because they need you and they've got no fault in this.”

That said, Ashlyn stood up and left, her shoulders slumped as she gently closed the door after her, off to attend their family. Ali let a long sigh out and covered her face with her hands for a moment, trying to pull herself together before slowly getting up and walking to the adjoined bathroom.

“Come on, Krieger. Pull yourself together or you won't get to help the kids that you _can_ help.” Ali gave herself a pep talk and washed her face, pulled her hair back in a ponytail, and applied mascara on her eyelids, her 'warrior paint'. Then, she went to the living room, and found Logan sprawled on the floor, lazily nibbling at a bone toy. “Is that good, baby?” she smiled small at the dog, patting her gently before looking around for Ashlyn.

She finally found her outside in the backyard, sitting on the verge of the pool in her bikini while Bruno splashed water sitting on the shallow area in front of her.

“Pu, pu!” Bruno was shouting as he played with a water pistol, shooting Ashlyn and laughing as she made mock sounds. Even this early in the year, it was just so hot and humid in their area.

“Someone sure is a baby shark,” Ali commented sitting next to Ashlyn and extending her arms towards Bruno, who came for wet hugs.

“Mama, I have shark!” Bruno held up a toy shark with his other hand. “Rawr!” Ali chuckled and kissed the top of his curly head.

“You have quite the collection indeed,” they sat quietly while watching Bruno play, and eventually Ali leaned her forehead against Ashlyn's warm, freckled shoulder. “I'm not angry at you. Just at myself.”

“Kai spent his last day playing in a fair because of you,” said Ashlyn, “I'm sure he loved it, even if he didn't show it. But I'm also sure that being him couldn't be easy. Your parents are murderers, you have no family, no friends, always going from foster home to foster home... he had problems we cannot blame ourselves for. Maybe death was his only way to find peace, you know? And it wasn't because of us... it was because he was sick of everything. Like you, he just wanted a fucking break.”

“Yeah,” Ali sighed again, reaching to hold her hand. “It just kills me to think I had him in my hands... to remember how I felt him wiggle out of them and...” she shook her head. “It was horrible.”

Ashlyn wrapped one strong arm around her shoulders, pulling her into her embrace, affectionate.

“I'm so sorry.”

“No, it's not your fault. This helps,” Ali murmured into her chest, enjoying her embrace. She knew Ashlyn's eyes were fixed on Bruno, so she could relax. “It's just heavy inside, but I'll try. I wanna stay here.”

“Good,” Ashlyn kissed the top of her head. “We love you here.”

  
  



	21. Clouds in my head

**Chapter 21: Clouds in my head.**

On a warm April morning, Ali and Ashlyn had returned home from training after picking Bruno up at the kindergarten where they had put him as they went back to work. He was improving significantly and now loved to talk, and spent the ride home doing his best effort to tell him all about his day with his somewhat limited vocabulary and a high-pitched voice they had come to relate to his excitement levels. Once home, Ashlyn went out again to walk Logan and Ali, who was still not quite herself, remained home with Bruno, hanging first at the pool, and then back home so they could play blocks.

By the time Ashlyn arrived home with the puppy, they had built a colourful castle of blocks.

“Woah! Bruno buddy, did you do that? It's amazing! Are you an architect now?” Ashlyn marvelled as she stood by the two playing on the rug.

“Mama helped!” Bruno said with a big toothy grin, pointing at Ali, who chuckled.

“I think we're raising quite an skilled artist,” opined Ali, eyeing Ashlyn. “So how was the walk?”

“Very well, Loggie played tag with the usual gang and now I think she's ready for retirement,” she joked, turning around to check the dog, had had climbed on the sofa and was now half asleep. “I sure am ready for nap time.”

“Nap time? You?” Ali smirked, putting a block more into the castle. “But you never nap, ever.”

“I'm growing old. I saw a white hair this morning,” Ashlyn said with a tragic tone. Ali rolled eyes and patted her ass.

“Are we cuddling or not?”

“Hell yeah we are.”

“Hell, hell, hell,” Bruno murmured. Ashlyn's eyes went wide looking at him and then she looked guiltily at her wife, who glared at her, and mouthed a clear 'shit sorry', that didn't quite fix it.

While Bruno was set for nap time, Ashlyn and Ali snuggled on their own bed, with Ali's face buried in Ashlyn's chest so close that Ashlyn wondered how she breathed. She had admittedly been really worried about Ali, who had never been so depressed, even when her contract with the National Team had suffered an 18-month-long termination. It wasn't like she was crying all the time or moping around; most of the time she seemed perfectly fine. But Ashlyn knew that underneath that layer she had to set to get through the day, she was still dealing with the sadness and frustration of losing Kai in the way that they had lost him. I-hate-hugs Ali was, after all, more cuddly lately, seeking more the comfort of her affection, and retreating more into the house, and Ashlyn could see that she was trying really hard to put on a brave face to get through the weeks.

“Are you asleep?” Ali's voice came muffled below her chin.

“No,” Ashlyn replied. “To be honest I just wanted cuddles.”

Ali smiled nuzzled against her and squeezed her a little.

“Me too... hey, Ash?”

“Yeah?”

“How can you...?” Ali pursed her lips and separated just enough to look up at her, their eyes meeting as Ashlyn looked down. “How are you so chill? I mean, we have a son, our family will be growing even more one of these days when we next adopt, we are facing the last year of our soccer careers and soon we'll be thrown into the uncertainty of our new professional lives... at thirty-six and thirty-seven and with children to care for. I mean, usually one doesn't face that kind of professional challenges under such circumstances, and I'm internally freaking out.”

“Well, remember I am a natural at getting overly anxious and panicking,” Ashlyn side smirked. “Which is why I've learned to take things one day at a time. And whenever my mind drifts off and my heart inevitably accelerates in panic... I always think I'm not doing anything alone. We have each other, Alex. We're the best team in the world, as it has shown... we will be just fine.”

“I'm sorry Ash, but even knowing you're there... I can't help being super anxious and worried more often than not. Even about coaching, which I've been so excited about, I can't help but also be very stressed about it, just beginning a new career at this age and with our family, and I'm going to have to travel around and leave you alone with our kids, maybe it's not the right decision.”

“Babe, you're going to start as a children's coach,” Ashlyn snorted a laugh. “How much travelling is that? All the clubs you may work for play regional! And I can work on design from home, I'd only have to travel a couple times a year... I'm sure we will all be just fine.”

“Yes but what if we end up like our parents? What if it gets too much and we end-up div—?”

“That is not going to happen.”

“You can't swear that.”

“I can swear that I'm not going to let drugs and alcoholism become issues of this family,” Ashlyn said firmly. “I can swear I won't go and cheat on you, and that no matter how hard it gets, I'm here to fight for this just like I'm still fighting eighty minutes into a game we're losing 4-1. Life is hardship, and we have decades of training to get through the worst of it.”

“How can you be such an optimistic?” Ali looked sadly at her.

“I have no choice, Alex, and neither do you. Is being negative and pessimistic going to help us? no. Whatever shit's supposed to happen will happen no matter our attitude, but a positive attitude is key to get through it, and it's the only thing that's going to help us when shit does come. So take a deep breath and when you catch your thoughts drifting south... try to think of something else or imagine a better outcome.”

“MAMA! MUMMY!” Bruno's scream came from the baby monitor and Ali stirred, separating from Bruno.

“I'll get him.”

Ali walked barefoot out of the room and into Bruno's bedroom just in front. She turned the light on and saw the boy sitting in his crib stretching his arms towards her.

“Mum,” he murmured opening his hands to her.

“What's up buddy?” Ali chuckled, leaning to grab him and pull him up into her arms, kissing the top of his head.

“I have nightmare,” Bruno replied with a pout, playing with her hair as he so often did.

“Oh, I'm sorry baby,” Ali kissed his cheek. “Wanna come sleep with Mummy and me?” he nodded and, not for the first time, Ali walked him him in her arms, back to the master bedroom.

Ashlyn was sprawled forming a star shape, and grinned at their son.

“You're joining the party? Awesome!” Ashlyn stretched her arms to get him and Ali passed him along, joining them under the covers. Hearing Bruno's laughter, she observed with amusement as Ashlyn was already making him laugh, tickling him to exhaustion until he begged her to stop, and then they cuddled ready to sleep. Ashlyn extended a hand to Ali. “Join us?”

“My pleasure,” Ali smiled and wrapped an arm around them, pressing her lips against Ashlyn's forehead and wishing them goodnight, as her body relaxed, allowing her to sleep.

Despite the late hour by which they fell asleep, the brunette was the first one to wake-up when the sunrise came, stretching on the bed and glancing at her younger wife and their son, both of which were sound asleep next to her. Affectionately, she caressed Ashlyn's cheek before sitting-up and determining it was her time to get out of bed, not feeling tired anymore. Logan stretched from her own bed in the living area as she saw Ali come in, and lazily walked over to get some food. While Ali prepared breakfast and Logan munched her cookies, the house phone rang and Ali grabbed the cordless phone, pressing it to her ear.

“Krieger-Harris,” Ali said as she held the phone and checked the eggs that were frying.

“Ali? It's Sharon.”

“Sharon! Good morning, what's up?”

“Good morning! I've got excellent news,” their social services worker said through the phone. “I just got my mail and... the judge granted you and Ashlyn the adoption of Bruno! I've got all the papers right here, it's all official!”

“What?” Ali squealed, turning off the stove. “He's ours? It's official?”

“It's official! You have formally become the mothers of Bruno James Krieger-Harris! Even his name has been formally changed!”

The news were so exciting that, as long as the call was over, Ali set the breakfast aside on plates and ran through the house to storm into her bedroom. Ashlyn's sleepy eyes opened at the intrusion.

“W-ah?” the goalkeeper asked, confused, blinking at the light.

“Ash, Sharon just called,” Ali jumped on the bed, straddling her wife with a huge grin on her face. “It's official, Ash. The judge declared us Bruno's parents.”

It took a moment for the news to register, but then Ashlyn's eyes widened and her lips parted slightly.

“It's official?” Ashlyn repeated, and the defender nodded. “Alex! Oh my God, we're Mums! We have a son!” she glanced at the sleeping boy and grinned big, her eyes filling with tears. “We have a son.”

“All ours, baby,” Ali beamed, kissing her hard on the lips, feeling herself get emotional. “We did it.”

“We did it.”

To celebrate the great news and because their first game of the season was two days away, as soon as training was over Ashlyn and Ali took Bruno to get his first Orlando Pride kit. Because he was still only almost two, even though he had pulled quite the weight and now had some healthy rolls in his arms and legs, it was difficult to find his size, but at last they got him a tiny purple jersey customized with the Krieger-Harris surname and with, in LGBT colours, Ali's number 11 on it, because there weren't goalkeeper jerseys that small. However, they found him tinny blue shoes where Ashlyn would paint number 24 with some purple pens they got for cloth, and got him an Orlando Pride cap because most games were quite hot.

“Purple!” Bruno pointed at his new t-shirt that he was wearing at home while Ashlyn customized his new shoes.

“That's right, you're our purple warrior prince,” Ali grinned, hugging him tight and kissing his cheek. “Wanna play ball now that you're all set for soccer?”

“Yes,” replied Bruno with a nod, his green eyes sparkling with excitement as he clapped.

“You guys go play, I'll have this ready in two minutes,” said Ashlyn with the tip of her tongue between her teeth in concentration, holding up one of the little shoes as she checked her art work.

It was funny how much Bruno loved to play ball, ever since he had started to walk and then quickly, run clumsily, not many days before. He loved even more to try and nutmeg them, which they would allow for the fun of it, and because he had learned to say 'nuhmeg' and it was quite hilarious. He wound run around their garden with Logan and a little soft ball, kicking it around as he and Ali often attempted to score on Ashlyn, who would be hard on Ali, but let Bruno score 'so he gets enthusiastic'. He didn't know much about his mothers' jobs. He new it was called 'soccer' or 'footy', and that it involved playing with a ball, but they had never taken him to the Exploria Stadium or introduced him as their son to their team, because of the privacy protection policies of foster children that said that basically, unless you were their actual parent, you had no right to expose them to such public events, even less when their actual Dad was a criminal.

But now, the adoption was official, Bruno's father was so isolated in prison he wasn't allowed to watch TV or read the newspaper, and a restraining order stood adding a sense of safety. That meant it was time to introduce Bruno to the world.


	22. Bitch I'm famous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I wanted to apologize for the long delay by giving you it all. Life's been hectic. Enjoy, I hope you have a good week!

**Chapter 22: Bitch I'm famous.**

They decided that Bruno's second birthday on the 27th of April was a good opportunity to introduce Bruno to the world properly. By then, the season had given them quite an amount of games, some loses and some victories or ties, but they didn't want to bring Bruno to the stadium until he had been formally introduced, because they didn't like the idea of him being introduced in front of a whole stadium. It was better to start with a birthday gathering with some of their friends and family. The birthday fell on a Tuesday, so they spent that day quietly as a new family of three, and left the celebration for Friday, when their people could come, right after one game that was on Thursday.

Ashlyn dressed him with a cute button-down shirt and short jeans, braces, and a cute little bowtie they'd be happy if it lasted for one hour to welcome their guests. She brushed his unruly curls a little, letting them be a bit wild, and put on his purple converse shoes with the 24 on them, to add cuteness.

“That's my handsomest boy!” Ali beamed seeing them appear in the living room. “And his gorgeous Mummy, of course.” She added with a smirk, eyeing Ashlyn up and down as she too wore a shirt and a bowtie matching their son's.

“You're not far behind,” Ashlyn winked at her, eyeing her in her pretty sundress. Then, she looked at the decorations Ali had set, and whistled in admiration. 'Let's Party!' hung on the wall in big, shiny, golden and silver letters. Blue and golden balloons hung all over the house, and on one wall, below 'Our birthday boy' letters, were a series of Bruno's best photographs. Ali was already putting a party hat on Bruno's curls. “Babe, you truly went big, this is amazing.”

“Just what our sweetheart deserves,” said Ali modestly, grinning and kissing Bruno's cheek. “You're the best, my son.”

“Mama, there is cake?” Bruno asked, having heard for days that there would be a big cake at his party.

“Yes, but only when our guests come, okay? You'll want to share with your grandparents.”

“Or not,” Ashlyn speculated, amused. “Maybe he'll want it all for himself!”

“Logan!” Bruno had caught sight of their dog, also with a party bowtie, and ran to her to play. Those two were quite an inseparable team, after all.

“Can you believe it?” Ali said, putting an arm around Ashlyn's waist as they looked at their kids. “We have our very own family.”

“And it'll grow,” Ashlyn added confident, kissing her tenderly. “You will see. This party's just starting.”

The first guests to arrive were the Dwyers. While the adults drank some celebratory beers, the three kids played under their supervision and laughter filled the garden. Shortly after, Alex Morgan came around with her husband Servando and her now pregnant belly, and when some other teammates and some friends Bruno had in kindergarten all arrived, Ali went quickly to pick Kyle and her parents up from the airport. Ashlyn's relatives came while she was gone, and by the time she came back, the house was crowded and full of music and party.

“I'm so happy for you guys,” Sydney told Ashlyn as both women kept an eye on the kids while they played with a piñata. “You deserve this.”

“Thanks, Syd,” Ashlyn grinned. “We're in the seventh cloud. I don't even think much about what went down in the Olympics anymore even, now it's just... I want Bruno to be happy, and I want for this family to keep thriving and growing. Soon, we'll get to foster another kid, and this time it'll go all right. Who knows, maybe even a new adoption this year or the next.”

In the distance, Ali and Kyle high-fived Bruno after he successfully got the candy, and Kyle took him for a shoulder ride as his 'horse'. Ashlyn looked around her backyard, seeing Logan running with Sydney and Alex's respective dogs, the decorations hanging here and there, and the adults and older children in the pool, and smiled to herself, thinking this was something she could easily grow accustomed to.

At last, when the guests left the house and Kyle and his father, who were staying with them, went to bed, Ashlyn and Ali put the exhausted Bruno in his crib and Ashlyn led her wife to their shared master bedroom, interlacing their fingers as they walked through the threshold and flopped on the bed, both worn-out. They changed into their pyjamas lazily, too tired to speak, and cuddled in bed, Ali wrapping her arms around Ashlyn, spooning her.

“Thank you,” Ali whispered against the back of her neck.

“What did I do?”

“Just being amazing. Making all my dreams come true, giving me all I could've ever wanted, making life perfect.”

The goalkeeper chuckled and brought one of Ali's hands to her lips to kiss it.

“You know it's team work. My life would suck without you.”

“When do you think we should introduce Bruno to the world? How? Our friends have their kids all over social media...”

“Well I was hoping we'd keep Bruno's life a little more private but... given the special occasion of his birthday...” Ashlyn shrugged. “I guess we could make a post for Instagram or the blogs we have.”

“Oh yes, I've been loving your honest blog posts...” Ali squeezed her affectionately, nuzzling into her. “Have I mentioned how much I love how open and vulnerable you get?”

“I'm just glad you approve the deal, you know, my heart's open to the world, but my legs only open for you,” Ashlyn joked, making the defender giggle against her neck. “Rest now, love. Tomorrow we're making our son famous.”

“Damn, ego's so gonna get up in his head...”

The next day, while Kyle and Kenneth played with Bruno outside, Ashlyn and Ali snuggled in the outside sofas watching them while Ashlyn composed an adequate post to introduce their son to the world.

“Okay, is this good?” Ashlyn asked for Ali's opinion, and the brunette leaned onto her shoulder to see her phone screen properly.

There was a photograph of Ashlyn and Ali grinning to the camera. Ashlyn was on her knees hugging Ali, who knelt in front of her hugging a laughing Bruno the day before during the party, with both women's arms around him and the three heads touching. It looked like a happy family picture, and Ashlyn had accompanied it with a short caption: ' _Everyone, wish happy 2_ _nd_ _birthday to the newest member of our family, our beautiful son Bruno. Ali and I thought it would be okay to share him a little with the world for this happy occasion, and also because we cannot stop feeling like shouting at the top of our lungs how happy we are to have him. Oh, and Logan's pretty pumped about having a baby brother too!_ '

Ali grinned and kissed her cheek.

“I think it's perfect.” Satisfied, Ashlyn pressed send and tossed the phone aside, wrapping her arms tighter around Ali and looking up as Bruno let one particularly loud guffaw out while playing tag with his uncle and grandfather.

“You know, I think Bruno would be a fantastic big brother,” Ashlyn commented nonchalantly.

“Do you?” Ali beamed. “So are we going to be looking for another foster child soon?”

“Actually,” Ashlyn said, “I phoned Sharon yesterday, while everyone was busy with the party, because I wanted to surprise you. I was thinking how maybe we shouldn't be fostering for a while, because we've seen how it can affect Bruno and after all, he is only just getting used to his new life and doing his own recovery. I was talking about that with Sharon and then I mentioned that maybe it would be a good idea to adopt a baby girl, if she knew of any who was in the system looking for adoptive parents, give Bruno a baby sissy and have him get used to having a sibling so fostering is easier for him in the future... and she actually told me there is a four month old girl who was found in a trash container hours after her birth.”

“Fuck, that's awful!”

“It is, but police hasn't found a family, so they put her up for adoption and the poor baby is just living in an orphanage... I told Sharon we would like to meet her on Monday. Start the process to adopt her. Unless, of course, you don't feel ready, which I'd understand. I did go behind your back...” Ali sat thoughtful for a moment, serious-looking, and then, slowly but progressively, a smile appeared in her face.

“Let's do it,” Ali decided at last, and Ashlyn raised her eyebrows.

“Are you sure?”

But the way Ali suddenly beamed at her, no trace of the last few weeks' sadness, was an answer in itself.

“I want to keep helping kids. We couldn't help Kai... but I have a good feeling about this one, Ash. She needs us.”

The goalkeeper grinned too, nodding.

“She sure does. After all, she's already a warrior princess like her Mama.”

They sealed the agreement with a kiss and when they finally separated, they remained sitting, cuddling as they watched their son playing, knowing that they were going to keep doing their best to help other defenceless children, and in the process they would achieve the family they always wanted, finding their road back to the most absolute joy they could've ever dreamed with. FIN.

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember Fanfic Authors are often unappreciated. Yes, we don't write best sellers, we write for love and we write for free, when we have time, through studies, jobs, life... we write because we love writing, but we CHOOSE to share what we write with you, so the least you can do is show your writers your appreciation. As you can see I spent a whole year writing without necessarily publishing, because like many others, I don't NEED to publish. I do it hoping it'll bring other people the joy it brings me to read and write. But it's up to you to keep updates going, and not make us feel like we might as well keep the work to ourselves. Thank you!


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